In the light of the economic crisis--- there is this trickle down effect of behavior that endangers us all even more so than any material possession lost or monetary loss. As those in the hierarchy of corporate greed often contemplate the thoughts of scarcity (note, this is hardly a true fear in most cases)--- their attentions turn to outward signs of child-like tantrums that lash out in most unwanted and abrasive actions and speech. When they manage businesses and corporations, behind closed doors are the sheepish attendants frightened of sudden reactions.
The bigger problem, this untrusting exchange becomes not only the symptom of fear, but spawns ever spreading reactive behavior as others emulate the 'boss'. The negative cycle can grow into a feeding frenzy that continues and those of us in productive cycles often become lacking in desire to fulfill a day's journey. We feel beaten and unacknowledged, unappreciated and unwanted. We are made to feel less than human. Our soul is attacked... and we lose our peace.
Harmony and meaningful peace is found when trust and humanity are rightfully honored, as well as earned. Scarcity is a thought felt only when we lack trust in ourselves to trust others and the universe. Our disconnect from nature makes us think we do not require blessing from the universe to survive-- but we never seem to realize money and material things are not going to keep us warm in a blizzard that cuts off power, or keep us alive in the middle of a tornado or earthquake. The power of nature and universe is far more vast than our human perception will ever know--- so how can we assume ourselves superior enough to have power over another human, let alone be more secure against nature with wealth?
Sometimes, we need to consider humanity is more important than economic possessions, and trust to be a required foundation to lead and to live. Look beyond our reality --- and then we can find truth in our future.
25 March 2009
23 March 2009
sometimes I don't understand being human
Humanity is a beautiful trait with many ups and downs, laughter, surprises and smiles-- but also then there is this uncontrollable scream and depth of impatience that might be read as fear. This is what I don't understand!
There are days of calming peaceful motions, in successive moments from one path to another. Achievements and new goals that make up a fulfilling day, ending to rest upon an idyllic down pillow so the subconscious might connect and dream. And then to feel the positive flow of glimpses into a perfect symmetry that promises synchronicity to a universal channel that is my soul's personal two-way radio to a divinity so omni-potent and glorious, we cannot but know the universe simply "loves".
Then-- there are the other days; I don't understand when the static grows and I am lost in a disconnect, cut off from the vibrations that would normally guide me. Is this the test? Am I cut off to become challenged for my own instincts? Is it a chain of events that questions our deserving nature?
I am about to enter another decade of life -- another milestone that is often looked upon as declining moments of desirability in the eyes of an opposite attraction. Yet it is I wondering if I have earned the wisdom to be considered in depreciable physical form. My mind wanders the tunnels of the dreams of a number long gone-- a youth wasted as an inferior subjugated to the social and political foundation of the 'adults' before me. Then the fear and anger washes over and I realize myself no better than those same humans I might find disdain for at times-- --
those same persons that founded the confusion and chaos I struggle to survive in, with the same trails of loneliness that would divide us from peaceable humanity. And I am disconnected from the beauty that would be the definition of ultimate love in the universe.
And then once again, sometimes-- I don't understand being human.
There are days of calming peaceful motions, in successive moments from one path to another. Achievements and new goals that make up a fulfilling day, ending to rest upon an idyllic down pillow so the subconscious might connect and dream. And then to feel the positive flow of glimpses into a perfect symmetry that promises synchronicity to a universal channel that is my soul's personal two-way radio to a divinity so omni-potent and glorious, we cannot but know the universe simply "loves".
Then-- there are the other days; I don't understand when the static grows and I am lost in a disconnect, cut off from the vibrations that would normally guide me. Is this the test? Am I cut off to become challenged for my own instincts? Is it a chain of events that questions our deserving nature?
I am about to enter another decade of life -- another milestone that is often looked upon as declining moments of desirability in the eyes of an opposite attraction. Yet it is I wondering if I have earned the wisdom to be considered in depreciable physical form. My mind wanders the tunnels of the dreams of a number long gone-- a youth wasted as an inferior subjugated to the social and political foundation of the 'adults' before me. Then the fear and anger washes over and I realize myself no better than those same humans I might find disdain for at times-- --
those same persons that founded the confusion and chaos I struggle to survive in, with the same trails of loneliness that would divide us from peaceable humanity. And I am disconnected from the beauty that would be the definition of ultimate love in the universe.
And then once again, sometimes-- I don't understand being human.
21 March 2009
events and choice
Sometimes reason doesn't hold to logic and the events that take place fall off the tracks or even the trains originally boarded. But if everything were in straight smooth tracks and clear weather, there wouldn't be calls for challenges or need for innovations. They said necessity is the mother of inventions in the world of science and machines. Perhaps life tragedies and disasters are reminders for us to remain humble, and to keep balanced with the spiritual things we spend most of our lives denying. Messages come in all types of signs, to keep reminding us that being human is a duality of frailty and strength, life and death, positive and negative. The beauty lies in the merger and the choices we make, and with how much awareness we choose to live the life we are gifted with.
13 March 2009
something is missing in humanity...
Have you ever felt like an alien in your own group?
An interesting conversation about the perception of the idea 'us and them' began this morning. It started quite simply in morning conversation, but expanded rapidly into a realization of how very much each person identifies with a degree of isolation and separation in some way. It's odd how we choose the idea of segregation because of inner issues within ourselves and the idea of 'closing off' our secrets. Many times, we excuse this isolation with either the idea that because we are 'superiorly different' or because of the secret that we are scared and ashamed of letting something out about ourselves. In any case, this divide creates more suspicions and lack of communication, doesn't it? Then, in many cases, once communications start-- we find out there is not that much for us to hide from others after all. Very strange how we tend to think about ourselves.
We sometimes seem to forget our uniqueness is linked by our humanness.
how do we carry our mental baggage?
It’s so funny how we entertain the notion that once becoming an ‘adult’, we are mentally equipped to make logical decisions and choices based on experiences and maturity. Sometimes, we forget we are just children in grown up bodies.
You see, it’s a funny balance between dreaming our future and being in our reality. The truth finds itself in a scheming balance shifting between the struggles of staying in a comfort zone of our childhood memories while struggling to evolve into the revolution of the future we dreamt of becoming. Then somewhere in all of that, the constant vortex of our perception of events in time, robs our memories and dwindles down achievements into ‘passing phases’, or in the worst cases, explodes and expands our most embarrassing and worst failures into a catastrophic occasion that blinds us to the next creative moment. Assuming, that is, if we are strong enough to maintain memories of those events at all, as sadly some recall nothing by choice or, from trauma.
You see, whether our lives are scripted by destiny or not, we each, uniquely endure a series of specific experiences along our paths that serve as markers to shape and define our future selves. Sometimes, these ‘tests’ are easy, sometimes not. Regardless, our reaction to those events, ultimately are choices specific to being truly our own. Even when forced into a physically brutal or harmful situation, how we ‘choose’ to survive or die in that situation is our own. We can choose to live or die in perpetual trauma, or within our own peace. It seems out of our control, but ultimately, we answer to only our own body, mind and soul--- at the very moment, whether we give ourselves up to the universe or not.
Using a simpler example, I found myself contemplating how I tend to categorize new people I meet on first impressions based on my ‘lifetime experiences’. Someone who speaks with particularly good vocal control, reminds me of singers, so I will want to ask them if they are musically inclined. Someone who exudes less confidence in the eyes tends to remind me of shy children, so I tend to wonder how evolved they are. (Note—I am very, very cautious to not be blatant in my ‘examining’ – but let’s face it—WE ALL DO THIS consciously or not. You know—“sizing someone up”) ----
Is this behavior wrong? Not entirely--- as it is a primordial, underlying instinct within us, for socialization and for self-protective reasons. We are human—we DO mentally compartmentalize and categorize people, places and things around us--- we DO also categorize behaviors and habits. (Otherwise, we would not have an entire field of statistics and would not be trying to constantly force children to behave within a ‘statistical norm’ and also, perhaps we wouldn’t be trying to force falsified stock values all the time!) However, HOW we CHOOSE to react upon initial assessment--- could imply an outcome we didn’t expect.
How we react depends on the amount of mental baggage carried. Negative memories create walls and blocks that may deny us new experiences. Too many positive pastimes might create an open and free quality that offers our unsuspecting selves up to potential dangerous encounters.
Mental baggage can be positive or negative --- it can teach us or stifle us. It can stop us from respecting ourselves, which then creates a conflict within--- that is then imparted onto others. Like children, we can unknowingly bark at a stranger when we are feeling badly about ourselves. (Has anyone ever screamed at an anonymous and persistent telemarketer who unwittingly calls at the moment of a catastrophe?) Many also tend to have a negative habit of assuming their shortcomings can be blamed on someone else or saved by someone else. How many companies teach us to ‘find someone to blame’? How many times did children have their mother and father coming to save them? How many people count on faith alone, with no self-effort (‘winning the lottery’?)
Point is, when we self-evaluate incorrectly and decide to not learn from our experiences and then do not look within ourselves for the balancing message, we are testing our own self-confidence. Comparing ourselves to the outside, to other people and their ‘similar experiences’ – leaves us open to subconsciously react outwardly to assume repeat experiences can occur through the influences of other people. It is not up to ‘them’ to feed our confidence, nor is it up to them to fix our inner problems. It is not up to ‘them’
to give us solutions to what we might perceive as our failures. It is not up to ‘them’ to help us stop judging ourselves.
Maybe realistically—
we need to dream a possible future that won’t get lost in our realities and to actuate the reality of the dream by responsible work from within ourselves first. We need to unload some of the mental baggage and carry only that we can haul on long journeys in order to make room for positive interactions within this world. We do not need to force ourselves to carry the wounds and guilt forever—they were teaching tools. Any accolades and jubilations that swell our heads into a fixed state without momentum, is also something unnecessary. We need to understand moments are transitory, passing phases in our lives to guide us into the new evolution. And each of us, has our own to be nurtured, respected, and honored, so we can do the same with those of others.
Without these self-affirmations, we may never find peace, as our lives remain unfulfilled in search of things that cannot be seen or bought or forced.
So how do you carry your mental baggage?
You see, it’s a funny balance between dreaming our future and being in our reality. The truth finds itself in a scheming balance shifting between the struggles of staying in a comfort zone of our childhood memories while struggling to evolve into the revolution of the future we dreamt of becoming. Then somewhere in all of that, the constant vortex of our perception of events in time, robs our memories and dwindles down achievements into ‘passing phases’, or in the worst cases, explodes and expands our most embarrassing and worst failures into a catastrophic occasion that blinds us to the next creative moment. Assuming, that is, if we are strong enough to maintain memories of those events at all, as sadly some recall nothing by choice or, from trauma.
You see, whether our lives are scripted by destiny or not, we each, uniquely endure a series of specific experiences along our paths that serve as markers to shape and define our future selves. Sometimes, these ‘tests’ are easy, sometimes not. Regardless, our reaction to those events, ultimately are choices specific to being truly our own. Even when forced into a physically brutal or harmful situation, how we ‘choose’ to survive or die in that situation is our own. We can choose to live or die in perpetual trauma, or within our own peace. It seems out of our control, but ultimately, we answer to only our own body, mind and soul--- at the very moment, whether we give ourselves up to the universe or not.
Using a simpler example, I found myself contemplating how I tend to categorize new people I meet on first impressions based on my ‘lifetime experiences’. Someone who speaks with particularly good vocal control, reminds me of singers, so I will want to ask them if they are musically inclined. Someone who exudes less confidence in the eyes tends to remind me of shy children, so I tend to wonder how evolved they are. (Note—I am very, very cautious to not be blatant in my ‘examining’ – but let’s face it—WE ALL DO THIS consciously or not. You know—“sizing someone up”) ----
Is this behavior wrong? Not entirely--- as it is a primordial, underlying instinct within us, for socialization and for self-protective reasons. We are human—we DO mentally compartmentalize and categorize people, places and things around us--- we DO also categorize behaviors and habits. (Otherwise, we would not have an entire field of statistics and would not be trying to constantly force children to behave within a ‘statistical norm’ and also, perhaps we wouldn’t be trying to force falsified stock values all the time!) However, HOW we CHOOSE to react upon initial assessment--- could imply an outcome we didn’t expect.
How we react depends on the amount of mental baggage carried. Negative memories create walls and blocks that may deny us new experiences. Too many positive pastimes might create an open and free quality that offers our unsuspecting selves up to potential dangerous encounters.
Mental baggage can be positive or negative --- it can teach us or stifle us. It can stop us from respecting ourselves, which then creates a conflict within--- that is then imparted onto others. Like children, we can unknowingly bark at a stranger when we are feeling badly about ourselves. (Has anyone ever screamed at an anonymous and persistent telemarketer who unwittingly calls at the moment of a catastrophe?) Many also tend to have a negative habit of assuming their shortcomings can be blamed on someone else or saved by someone else. How many companies teach us to ‘find someone to blame’? How many times did children have their mother and father coming to save them? How many people count on faith alone, with no self-effort (‘winning the lottery’?)
Point is, when we self-evaluate incorrectly and decide to not learn from our experiences and then do not look within ourselves for the balancing message, we are testing our own self-confidence. Comparing ourselves to the outside, to other people and their ‘similar experiences’ – leaves us open to subconsciously react outwardly to assume repeat experiences can occur through the influences of other people. It is not up to ‘them’ to feed our confidence, nor is it up to them to fix our inner problems. It is not up to ‘them’
to give us solutions to what we might perceive as our failures. It is not up to ‘them’ to help us stop judging ourselves.
Maybe realistically—
we need to dream a possible future that won’t get lost in our realities and to actuate the reality of the dream by responsible work from within ourselves first. We need to unload some of the mental baggage and carry only that we can haul on long journeys in order to make room for positive interactions within this world. We do not need to force ourselves to carry the wounds and guilt forever—they were teaching tools. Any accolades and jubilations that swell our heads into a fixed state without momentum, is also something unnecessary. We need to understand moments are transitory, passing phases in our lives to guide us into the new evolution. And each of us, has our own to be nurtured, respected, and honored, so we can do the same with those of others.
Without these self-affirmations, we may never find peace, as our lives remain unfulfilled in search of things that cannot be seen or bought or forced.
So how do you carry your mental baggage?
09 March 2009
Love-Lies-Bleeding
The internet is an amazing tool. In the morning I was able to chat briefly with a friend in Mexico. So we were able to quickly say hello, say the usual small talk, catch up on mutual friends -- and then have that moment of human connection as he candidly discussed his ambivalence towards actually being part of a partnering relationship (as in, boyfriend, girlfriend.) Interestingly, though he mentioned he just could not find 'the right one', he also mentioned his unwillingness for a number of potential issues in a relationship --- he doesn't want to bring children into this world of chaos and distress, he prefers and enjoys casual sex with whomever he should choose, rather than be bound, he cherishes his independence. And he is quite honest about it.
Hmmm. On one side, how very refreshing but then, how very, very familiar. This fellow resides in the heartland of Mexico--- an astute, appealing guy with charm and wit--- but remains, faithfully to his own, not willing to give up on a bachelorhood even later in life than most. He is not alone, however-- as he tends to live with family or stay with friends. Is this a symptom of the "Peter Pan syndrome" we so often complain of in the states, or perhaps-- the struggle of a soul in search of reason in a world without heros and guardians to bring us hope?
In today's world, we see every reason to argue a new definition for the same word. Relationship, girlfriend, boyfriend, lover, love. Each means a different connotation to each listener and speaker. In the beauty of our booming population and technogear, we have been blessed with the potential for communications like never before, but to what depth? Movies and commerciality has even laid claim to stake an interest in those things human such as love. The whole word is obsessed with what love should be, what a family should be, what sex should be. They even sell us the notion of who we should be. The role models are plasticene inventions on celluloid strips that become DVD's as each behavior is assigned a metaphoric price tag in the new system of rewards. Marriage and divorce becomes a competitive sport (and costly!) that keeps business booming in judicial, retail, housing and match-maker sectors. Still, in most cases, if one were to ask a current or former spouse to describe their partner's soul.....
Then the question -- what is love?
Spiritually, it is that which is undescribable, fullfilling, needing, binding, calming, nuturing, communicating, placating... everything.
To love oneself, seems often that. It is the word merely used to describe all of those 'warm and fuzzy' feelings that brings confidence, joy, knowing and positive outlook, yet so much more. It is to be comfortable with one's own truth in accomplishments, destinies, or failures. It is accepting. Even a most brutal criminal can love him/herself, while the most honored, loving and angelic person can be unnerved and wavering unto themselves. Even in this sense, it is a most unique and singular event unable to be truly described.
Ah... but then-- bring into a circle of self-love (or self-unlove) another person's experience--- the partner, or child, or new family members. Complications!!!
Why is this so hard? We all feel it at least some of the time, we crave it most of the time and we try to cherish it when we have it. When seeking it, sometimes we are not ready (especially if we are in a state of self-nonlove) and sometimes, it finds us, ready or not. Sometimes we are blind to it and sometimes we take it for granted, unable to do more. Some people even profess love is a fable that does not exist, to run from the duty to find it in themselves or others. Some choose to identify love with only the sexual act and defy the point of spiritual contact or emotional associations.
How can we possibly be all wrong? Or right? What possible communication could we make to bridge the chaos? Isn’t love supposed to actually enhance understanding and communication?
This is when a thought occurred. A spectacular vision of the flower, Love-Lies-Bleeding, entered the mind. Gracefully swaying tall in sun, growing in most harsh or kind conditions, it flowers glorious clusters of tiny red flowers that seed a rich, nourishing food for the natives of the Latin Americas. It was once hailed as a gift from Pachamama and still remains a staple in many parts of the Andes. It can be steamed, puffed, salted or sweetened, and is classified an herb more than a grain due to its rich nutrient and protein content. However, this plant also known as amaranth, once a spiritual and physical icon for the natives, was turned into a point of power and given a physically quantifiable value. It is said the Conquistadors spreading their Christian values would cut off the hand of a native who possessed even one seed in some areas, as the amaranth held symbolic importance in native religious ceremonies. Yet these same Conquistadors found the red flowers so tantalizing it was marketed and to Europe’s most fashionable houses as the most sought after, “Love-Lies-Bleeding”.
How interesting a plant of native spirituality would be attempting to teach us a lesson to this moment in time? In the days of the Incas and Aztecs, Pachamama graciously provided this magical plant to nourish the body and soul. As red as blood from the heart, it’s edible essence and hearty growth brought life and sustenance, symbolic of the loving care given to the people living with Pachamama. As it was stolen from its land, and possessed with man made values, its power grew. But so did the desires of those wishing to possess it. As it was stripped of its true nature, its value reassigned and dissected from its original purpose, it became lost among the landscaped gardens from Spain to England. And in period times, it became symbolic of the love that attempts survival, yet so easily blown away, dripping in tiny pebbles to the ground, only to become a memory of a season past. This remains to this day, as the flower is considered symbolic of ‘hopelessness’. It has been redefined into a shallow substance of things that would slip away into a desolate and despairing human perception of loss.
Yet, as the human need for survival has found new ground and we seek alternate sources of pure nourishment in these overpopulated times, there is a revival of the amazing nourishment value the humble amaranth provides. Even after all the suffering and defamation, she is reborn a modern miraculous gift from nature, a wondrous ‘ancient grain’ for the health hungry. Amaranth’s once sought after value for monetary gains are days of old and returning to her true self nature and purpose, her original gifts to humanity are found. Again, it becomes a ‘loving gift from nature’, as though it never lost its place. And it finds a peaceful relationship, with the human 'others' again, instead of remaining a trapped prisoner out of its own comfort zone.
If one were to think that perhaps we cannot find contented roles and relationships with our own environment unless we also move into our own true self nature. I would suppose that is where the thought comes from, “one cannot truly love another until one loves their own self,” no matter the labels or values placed upon us. However, unlike the amaranth, often we forget we are the master's of our own destiny and not prisoners of our circumstance. In that case, there is not a 'right or wrong' by definition, only a responsibility to respond to our inner self-love and then acknowledge that intuitive communication to nuture potential relationships surrounding us at any given moment. Instead of hopelessness, we can command our place and actions into hope as we find our truth and beauty within.
Hmmm. On one side, how very refreshing but then, how very, very familiar. This fellow resides in the heartland of Mexico--- an astute, appealing guy with charm and wit--- but remains, faithfully to his own, not willing to give up on a bachelorhood even later in life than most. He is not alone, however-- as he tends to live with family or stay with friends. Is this a symptom of the "Peter Pan syndrome" we so often complain of in the states, or perhaps-- the struggle of a soul in search of reason in a world without heros and guardians to bring us hope?
In today's world, we see every reason to argue a new definition for the same word. Relationship, girlfriend, boyfriend, lover, love. Each means a different connotation to each listener and speaker. In the beauty of our booming population and technogear, we have been blessed with the potential for communications like never before, but to what depth? Movies and commerciality has even laid claim to stake an interest in those things human such as love. The whole word is obsessed with what love should be, what a family should be, what sex should be. They even sell us the notion of who we should be. The role models are plasticene inventions on celluloid strips that become DVD's as each behavior is assigned a metaphoric price tag in the new system of rewards. Marriage and divorce becomes a competitive sport (and costly!) that keeps business booming in judicial, retail, housing and match-maker sectors. Still, in most cases, if one were to ask a current or former spouse to describe their partner's soul.....
Then the question -- what is love?
Spiritually, it is that which is undescribable, fullfilling, needing, binding, calming, nuturing, communicating, placating... everything.
To love oneself, seems often that. It is the word merely used to describe all of those 'warm and fuzzy' feelings that brings confidence, joy, knowing and positive outlook, yet so much more. It is to be comfortable with one's own truth in accomplishments, destinies, or failures. It is accepting. Even a most brutal criminal can love him/herself, while the most honored, loving and angelic person can be unnerved and wavering unto themselves. Even in this sense, it is a most unique and singular event unable to be truly described.
Ah... but then-- bring into a circle of self-love (or self-unlove) another person's experience--- the partner, or child, or new family members. Complications!!!
Why is this so hard? We all feel it at least some of the time, we crave it most of the time and we try to cherish it when we have it. When seeking it, sometimes we are not ready (especially if we are in a state of self-nonlove) and sometimes, it finds us, ready or not. Sometimes we are blind to it and sometimes we take it for granted, unable to do more. Some people even profess love is a fable that does not exist, to run from the duty to find it in themselves or others. Some choose to identify love with only the sexual act and defy the point of spiritual contact or emotional associations.
How can we possibly be all wrong? Or right? What possible communication could we make to bridge the chaos? Isn’t love supposed to actually enhance understanding and communication?
This is when a thought occurred. A spectacular vision of the flower, Love-Lies-Bleeding, entered the mind. Gracefully swaying tall in sun, growing in most harsh or kind conditions, it flowers glorious clusters of tiny red flowers that seed a rich, nourishing food for the natives of the Latin Americas. It was once hailed as a gift from Pachamama and still remains a staple in many parts of the Andes. It can be steamed, puffed, salted or sweetened, and is classified an herb more than a grain due to its rich nutrient and protein content. However, this plant also known as amaranth, once a spiritual and physical icon for the natives, was turned into a point of power and given a physically quantifiable value. It is said the Conquistadors spreading their Christian values would cut off the hand of a native who possessed even one seed in some areas, as the amaranth held symbolic importance in native religious ceremonies. Yet these same Conquistadors found the red flowers so tantalizing it was marketed and to Europe’s most fashionable houses as the most sought after, “Love-Lies-Bleeding”.
How interesting a plant of native spirituality would be attempting to teach us a lesson to this moment in time? In the days of the Incas and Aztecs, Pachamama graciously provided this magical plant to nourish the body and soul. As red as blood from the heart, it’s edible essence and hearty growth brought life and sustenance, symbolic of the loving care given to the people living with Pachamama. As it was stolen from its land, and possessed with man made values, its power grew. But so did the desires of those wishing to possess it. As it was stripped of its true nature, its value reassigned and dissected from its original purpose, it became lost among the landscaped gardens from Spain to England. And in period times, it became symbolic of the love that attempts survival, yet so easily blown away, dripping in tiny pebbles to the ground, only to become a memory of a season past. This remains to this day, as the flower is considered symbolic of ‘hopelessness’. It has been redefined into a shallow substance of things that would slip away into a desolate and despairing human perception of loss.
Yet, as the human need for survival has found new ground and we seek alternate sources of pure nourishment in these overpopulated times, there is a revival of the amazing nourishment value the humble amaranth provides. Even after all the suffering and defamation, she is reborn a modern miraculous gift from nature, a wondrous ‘ancient grain’ for the health hungry. Amaranth’s once sought after value for monetary gains are days of old and returning to her true self nature and purpose, her original gifts to humanity are found. Again, it becomes a ‘loving gift from nature’, as though it never lost its place. And it finds a peaceful relationship, with the human 'others' again, instead of remaining a trapped prisoner out of its own comfort zone.
If one were to think that perhaps we cannot find contented roles and relationships with our own environment unless we also move into our own true self nature. I would suppose that is where the thought comes from, “one cannot truly love another until one loves their own self,” no matter the labels or values placed upon us. However, unlike the amaranth, often we forget we are the master's of our own destiny and not prisoners of our circumstance. In that case, there is not a 'right or wrong' by definition, only a responsibility to respond to our inner self-love and then acknowledge that intuitive communication to nuture potential relationships surrounding us at any given moment. Instead of hopelessness, we can command our place and actions into hope as we find our truth and beauty within.
08 March 2009
housing crisis and economy
originally written Feb 2009
When in deep sleep, it seems I cannot but help be at the mercy of the whispers that haunt from a time long since wiped out of existence from this world. It draws and calls us to action and new ways, new thoughts, new consciousnesses.
In that place, hope divine finds truth. We find then the answers to sustain in this one through the thoughts of such.
So as I meditated fancifully on this, I found an interesting insight that came to me. There is a way to save the housing crisis for many--- not all, but a means to eventually revert the destructive force of the money managers that have taken apart this world to financial doom for a multitude of desperate people.
In that plan, people with some access to funds—could, would--- devise a confidential plan in which they await turns to allow for foreclosures of the area homes at the lowest prices. They could pull their money out of the markets, buy these homes (of their neighbors) at auction or foreclosure status out from the banks at bottom value, locate the family that did live there and rent it back to them (with specially devised 'honest' legal contracts, rental amount for only the principle+ int+ tax+ escrow+ ins/monthly) on a promissory note that the family gets first purchase rights back within 5 yrs at only 7-8% above the foreclosed pricing. Very low returns, but it empowers the community to rightful total ownership again of their homes at a temporary rent, then a monthly payment much less than the original mortgage was--- while the 'community investor' would be able to keep assets and collateral and sell back later. Most likely, it would prove to find better returns than the stock market rates would be during this time. If the original families cannot buy back the home in the allotted time--- the buyer still loses nothing—they would be able to sell it at a slightly higher value to someone than what would have been the previous owner’s discount. Very slow earnings returns, perhaps – but solid returns into the community’s future, as population generates necessity and local economy. The communal needs would create jobs, and local needs. Keeping familiar neighbors and friends creates unity and increased security. The banks no longer have a stake in it, it is a privatized mortgage--- and completely, forms a neighborhood built on true humanity.
Additionally, as neighbors stay, trust builds in a community where all become more familiar faces. Homes that are still on high mortgages sit side by side with those who have been ‘bailed out’ – equalizing the social playing field as well. There is more open opportunity for people to be with each other rather than to be apart—as the jobless crises creates more ‘free’ hours for most, and those that have necessity face them, become creative and turn to necessary skills of maintenance, self gardening, crafting, cooking—to fulfill needs in both requirements and productivity for themselves.
The issues remain are self-egos and designed prejudices by those who are the ‘haves vs. the have nots’. This possessive nature is a sullen reminder of the acquisitions mentality of the past centuries—a left over training from the feudal era when the kings and queens would bid to gain the largest empires. However, it is an elitist jaded and insecure way of life at times—as this possessive mentality creates a greater need for security as the person identifies themselves with the material ‘things’ rather than their inner growth. Time is swept away by attempting to maintain upkeep of such ‘things’, rather than as if to tend a garden that brings life giving rewards.
The quandary then is, ‘how does a society find those special persons of spiritual values who might have the means to fund and carry through such an event of humane actions?’
This question I cannot answer. It is not for lack of faith in humanity; it is because humanity is buried in lack of faith. If there is a miracle to be had, this crisis needs people to find the inner souls that connect us all into realizing our survival begins within us. We need to find our self-trust in order to subjugate homes and local economies back to the local people to tend to their immediate environments, before integrating itself into a larger whole.
It has happened before. And empires fell before as they grew too quickly, while skewing the truths that we are merely human regardless of inventions or possessions. But sometimes, instead of finding unity, we chose reason to bond for means of aggression to relieve our anxiety. We chose to perpetrate a weaker society or ravage earth’s resources for the pleasure of transitory gratification with a new invention. We chose to become primal Darwinist creatures, attacking, destroying, using, and plundering. Yet, we call ourselves proudly modern, within reach of a physically globalized society like never before. And still, we cannot find strength of leadership in government, religion, education, philosophy or basic humanity that does not recognize our advancements are forever undermined by the unwillingness of ourselves to admit we are still ruled by the desires of power. Instead, we become enslaved into the roles of defending our pride in possession, while as pawns we listen to the definition of freedom by those in corporate and political power. Perhaps it might be the time to seek our own truths and mold our reality to real human values with genuine intent for our brothers and sisters. Perhaps, it is time we choose to understand why we seek a golden calf to represent the value of ourselves, rather than fulfilling our destinies to ourselves and to the whole of humanity.
In this mindset, we could truly and simply only be receiving messages and thoughts from another dimension, the creative one that exists in our drive to survive each life. In that world, there is no worry of problems with globalization and economies – as the universe knows only the knowledge of symbiosis and energy exchanges, for sustainability. Growth through shared experience and divine counterbalance, not more or less than that--- to constantly scatter and seek and reinvent the pathways; it is not about the success or accumulation of a single entity—it is, about the multitude of sharing moments. It does not mean eliminating the parties and joy--- it means inviting more people. It means, enjoying humanity to the fullest. It means, allowing ourselves full access to being human.
When in deep sleep, it seems I cannot but help be at the mercy of the whispers that haunt from a time long since wiped out of existence from this world. It draws and calls us to action and new ways, new thoughts, new consciousnesses.
In that place, hope divine finds truth. We find then the answers to sustain in this one through the thoughts of such.
So as I meditated fancifully on this, I found an interesting insight that came to me. There is a way to save the housing crisis for many--- not all, but a means to eventually revert the destructive force of the money managers that have taken apart this world to financial doom for a multitude of desperate people.
In that plan, people with some access to funds—could, would--- devise a confidential plan in which they await turns to allow for foreclosures of the area homes at the lowest prices. They could pull their money out of the markets, buy these homes (of their neighbors) at auction or foreclosure status out from the banks at bottom value, locate the family that did live there and rent it back to them (with specially devised 'honest' legal contracts, rental amount for only the principle+ int+ tax+ escrow+ ins/monthly) on a promissory note that the family gets first purchase rights back within 5 yrs at only 7-8% above the foreclosed pricing. Very low returns, but it empowers the community to rightful total ownership again of their homes at a temporary rent, then a monthly payment much less than the original mortgage was--- while the 'community investor' would be able to keep assets and collateral and sell back later. Most likely, it would prove to find better returns than the stock market rates would be during this time. If the original families cannot buy back the home in the allotted time--- the buyer still loses nothing—they would be able to sell it at a slightly higher value to someone than what would have been the previous owner’s discount. Very slow earnings returns, perhaps – but solid returns into the community’s future, as population generates necessity and local economy. The communal needs would create jobs, and local needs. Keeping familiar neighbors and friends creates unity and increased security. The banks no longer have a stake in it, it is a privatized mortgage--- and completely, forms a neighborhood built on true humanity.
Additionally, as neighbors stay, trust builds in a community where all become more familiar faces. Homes that are still on high mortgages sit side by side with those who have been ‘bailed out’ – equalizing the social playing field as well. There is more open opportunity for people to be with each other rather than to be apart—as the jobless crises creates more ‘free’ hours for most, and those that have necessity face them, become creative and turn to necessary skills of maintenance, self gardening, crafting, cooking—to fulfill needs in both requirements and productivity for themselves.
The issues remain are self-egos and designed prejudices by those who are the ‘haves vs. the have nots’. This possessive nature is a sullen reminder of the acquisitions mentality of the past centuries—a left over training from the feudal era when the kings and queens would bid to gain the largest empires. However, it is an elitist jaded and insecure way of life at times—as this possessive mentality creates a greater need for security as the person identifies themselves with the material ‘things’ rather than their inner growth. Time is swept away by attempting to maintain upkeep of such ‘things’, rather than as if to tend a garden that brings life giving rewards.
The quandary then is, ‘how does a society find those special persons of spiritual values who might have the means to fund and carry through such an event of humane actions?’
This question I cannot answer. It is not for lack of faith in humanity; it is because humanity is buried in lack of faith. If there is a miracle to be had, this crisis needs people to find the inner souls that connect us all into realizing our survival begins within us. We need to find our self-trust in order to subjugate homes and local economies back to the local people to tend to their immediate environments, before integrating itself into a larger whole.
It has happened before. And empires fell before as they grew too quickly, while skewing the truths that we are merely human regardless of inventions or possessions. But sometimes, instead of finding unity, we chose reason to bond for means of aggression to relieve our anxiety. We chose to perpetrate a weaker society or ravage earth’s resources for the pleasure of transitory gratification with a new invention. We chose to become primal Darwinist creatures, attacking, destroying, using, and plundering. Yet, we call ourselves proudly modern, within reach of a physically globalized society like never before. And still, we cannot find strength of leadership in government, religion, education, philosophy or basic humanity that does not recognize our advancements are forever undermined by the unwillingness of ourselves to admit we are still ruled by the desires of power. Instead, we become enslaved into the roles of defending our pride in possession, while as pawns we listen to the definition of freedom by those in corporate and political power. Perhaps it might be the time to seek our own truths and mold our reality to real human values with genuine intent for our brothers and sisters. Perhaps, it is time we choose to understand why we seek a golden calf to represent the value of ourselves, rather than fulfilling our destinies to ourselves and to the whole of humanity.
In this mindset, we could truly and simply only be receiving messages and thoughts from another dimension, the creative one that exists in our drive to survive each life. In that world, there is no worry of problems with globalization and economies – as the universe knows only the knowledge of symbiosis and energy exchanges, for sustainability. Growth through shared experience and divine counterbalance, not more or less than that--- to constantly scatter and seek and reinvent the pathways; it is not about the success or accumulation of a single entity—it is, about the multitude of sharing moments. It does not mean eliminating the parties and joy--- it means inviting more people. It means, enjoying humanity to the fullest. It means, allowing ourselves full access to being human.
"we do not inherit the land from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children"
This quote appears in a calendar sponsored by the National Wildlife Federation this month. It is a Native American Proverb. How intensely this conveys the wisdom of people who chose to live in harmony with the majesty of their environment, instead of aggressively digging tunnels and hoarding the things that would bring us momentary pleasure. If truly we were to borrow things of the earth from our children, I wonder how we might create the oil, natural gas and water that we have drilled and used. I wonder if there will be the delicate balance of gases in the atmosphere so they may breathe. I wonder if they will see the flowers bloom every spring and the magic of tasting the first freshly hand-picked fruits at harvest on an orchard.
Maybe it's time to engage the act of sharing and return, instead of borrow. As we borrow our own times here on earth, we must acknowledge our footprints write the pages to our legacies as our actions carve the roads to tomorrow.
Maybe it's time to engage the act of sharing and return, instead of borrow. As we borrow our own times here on earth, we must acknowledge our footprints write the pages to our legacies as our actions carve the roads to tomorrow.
trained without being trained
Today is the day to return to the normalcy which consumes us into daily routine. Yet, somehow, there is the preponderance of a suggestion, a new growth and language or theory that comes to speak of the new world to come. Where I belong in this communicative link, is an extraordinary question which cannot be determined through an ordinary reality or life.
I have come to understand the presence of this society and of nature itself, to be built upon the necessity of a slight degree of instability, always striving to achieve balance. A physicist I know, who is strongly rooted in Newtonian theory, determines our existence is merely temporary, to be destroyed and restarted within a ‘rubber band-like’ cycle. Therefore, if we destroy ourselves ‘properly’, the universe would capsize unto itself and achieve a moment of static foundation where it finds a transient millisecond of true balance, only to rebound and restart the cycle of expansion again. In his mind, annihilation, if done for scientific purpose, is absolute, probably necessary and definitely a plausible expected outcome. Therefore, though he might live a conservationists lifestyle by most definitions, he thinks to inquire, study, use and if ‘accidentally’ destroyed to beyond useful purpose, the universe will simply right itself due to a law of rebounding. He also has no belief in an actual universal consciousness, and remarks humans to be singular individual entities on only a path of curiosity and discovery. In that light, we are not to be keepers and maintain balance, but rather, we are here to learn by dissemination before creating restructure—as we must become master of knowledge before keeper of our world.
How odd this sounds to me, as his life ultimately had to be saved by achieving a self-balance state. In his belief structure, he is without regard for a possibility of an ‘after-life’ – though he does acknowledge that energy and atoms are ‘recycled’ to a new purpose throughout all universes. Therefore, death is a total cease to exist of himself, while he is here to experience all he can. So he challenged death to come to him when he lost balance in his life, he challenged death to take him, when his fear of death no longer exceeded his will to experience life, he almost died.
He sought balance through wishing death. How sad it was as he lay in medical need. A brilliant mind and talent, he was wasting away within a belief structure that could not be proven or denied, willfully deciding on a fate that was not his to make at the time.
I wonder about the analogy of this and today’s times. There has been the “X” generation, a ‘me’, a ‘Y’, a ‘hippie’, a ‘yippie’ and ‘yuppies’ that have come and gone. They were trained in the ways of self-glorification through adornment of brand labels that glittered and cast imageries of Hollywood starlets, regardless of their original values. we became the trained walking billboards for the majority corporations and labels--- we became, part of the advertising model for wielding brand power, while not part of the corporate team. Worse still, we replaced quality and ethical technologies with labels that represented mass production gimmicks. it became the conundrum that shaped our latch key children for the last three decades.
In this model, we chose to become imbalanced by placing values on an altered identity, rather than seek our true selves. How perfect—for the profit raiders. Blindness is the greatest weakness humanity can offer to become vulnerable. As with the physicist who chooses to challenge universal consciousness and defy death, this self-inflicted blindness creates the model for the new ideal that proposes denial of intuitive faith by way of theories and things justifiable, rather than allow for the supposition of the impossible. In this manner, we easily trade truths for proposals and speculations. We become the grey area, the socialized model of mediocrity – the expected ‘sheep’ for the lackluster shepherds led by greed rather than by necessity and invention. We expect another to be blamed, and responsibilities to be shed and cast away beyond our duty.
We have been trained well, without being trained.
I have come to understand the presence of this society and of nature itself, to be built upon the necessity of a slight degree of instability, always striving to achieve balance. A physicist I know, who is strongly rooted in Newtonian theory, determines our existence is merely temporary, to be destroyed and restarted within a ‘rubber band-like’ cycle. Therefore, if we destroy ourselves ‘properly’, the universe would capsize unto itself and achieve a moment of static foundation where it finds a transient millisecond of true balance, only to rebound and restart the cycle of expansion again. In his mind, annihilation, if done for scientific purpose, is absolute, probably necessary and definitely a plausible expected outcome. Therefore, though he might live a conservationists lifestyle by most definitions, he thinks to inquire, study, use and if ‘accidentally’ destroyed to beyond useful purpose, the universe will simply right itself due to a law of rebounding. He also has no belief in an actual universal consciousness, and remarks humans to be singular individual entities on only a path of curiosity and discovery. In that light, we are not to be keepers and maintain balance, but rather, we are here to learn by dissemination before creating restructure—as we must become master of knowledge before keeper of our world.
How odd this sounds to me, as his life ultimately had to be saved by achieving a self-balance state. In his belief structure, he is without regard for a possibility of an ‘after-life’ – though he does acknowledge that energy and atoms are ‘recycled’ to a new purpose throughout all universes. Therefore, death is a total cease to exist of himself, while he is here to experience all he can. So he challenged death to come to him when he lost balance in his life, he challenged death to take him, when his fear of death no longer exceeded his will to experience life, he almost died.
He sought balance through wishing death. How sad it was as he lay in medical need. A brilliant mind and talent, he was wasting away within a belief structure that could not be proven or denied, willfully deciding on a fate that was not his to make at the time.
I wonder about the analogy of this and today’s times. There has been the “X” generation, a ‘me’, a ‘Y’, a ‘hippie’, a ‘yippie’ and ‘yuppies’ that have come and gone. They were trained in the ways of self-glorification through adornment of brand labels that glittered and cast imageries of Hollywood starlets, regardless of their original values. we became the trained walking billboards for the majority corporations and labels--- we became, part of the advertising model for wielding brand power, while not part of the corporate team. Worse still, we replaced quality and ethical technologies with labels that represented mass production gimmicks. it became the conundrum that shaped our latch key children for the last three decades.
In this model, we chose to become imbalanced by placing values on an altered identity, rather than seek our true selves. How perfect—for the profit raiders. Blindness is the greatest weakness humanity can offer to become vulnerable. As with the physicist who chooses to challenge universal consciousness and defy death, this self-inflicted blindness creates the model for the new ideal that proposes denial of intuitive faith by way of theories and things justifiable, rather than allow for the supposition of the impossible. In this manner, we easily trade truths for proposals and speculations. We become the grey area, the socialized model of mediocrity – the expected ‘sheep’ for the lackluster shepherds led by greed rather than by necessity and invention. We expect another to be blamed, and responsibilities to be shed and cast away beyond our duty.
We have been trained well, without being trained.
the 'art' or 'argument' in perception, as physics meets philosophy
I’ve become friends with a physicist. His mind is brilliant beyond ordinary reason, and his accomplishments are extraordinary, in athletics, special government awards, scholastics and in multiple specialized fields from mechanics through to nuclear sciences. He understands and teaches advanced wave theory and calculates algorithms for assessing all probable cause and effect relationships in acoustical and nuclear physics, as well as aerospacial movement of objects or particles and design of such models. He's lived well and nearly died multiple times, on the cusp of taunting his own gift of existence.
Surprisingly, doesn’t believe in an existence of a divine, nor does he believe infinity is truly possible --- he believes all things are finite, otherwise, he is unable to calculate or prove it’s relative existence. His truth and beauty only lies in the proof of the equation and absolutes, including predictable control of the outcomes, eventually mastering the control.
OUCH. That threw me for a loop.
My perspective (from shamanic thoughts influences) is in the inter-relationship of all matter and ‘anti-matter’ as a symbiosis (in equilibrium status) to perpetuate existence in kinetic energy state equals life. That is, through hierarchy of energy states that exist as in the examples of atomic structure, this ‘hidden’ desire of existence (of a divine nature) requires evolutionary state and transformation which creates and ascertains that infinity then is possible (and required) due to the fact that the unseen dimensional universe is evolving as much as in the examples of our physical evolutions, and that, our world’s evolutionary status is a foundational energy exchange that ‘feeds’ the grander hierarchy of the universe itself--- so the divine is within and without us, at all times, in a symbiotic exchange….. BUT that we, in our limited physical capabilities to perceive this in physical sensory form--- are us unable to comprehend the inter-dependant relationship of true string theory (which is flawed for its linear propositions) or ‘butterfly effects’ – which is why Occams Razor was postulated into quantum theory in the first place…
That threw him for a loop.
We are at an “argumentative’ impasse due to opposing points of perception. I consider this a gift--- as each one of us has the unique ability to gift the universe with our personal experience. He sees beauty in life like we all do, but he chooses to see death as a finite that is separate from life and an ultimate end. I choose to see death as a transformation that is a necessary existence for the cycle of life, continuity, of sorts.
He seems to appreciate the ‘gift’ of opposing views as well. But damned if I didn’t have to “artfully” earn the position of respect for my point of view in the argument. However, he is learning that empathetic communication is the key for non-escalating and non- isolating interpersonal skills.
What a beautiful world it could be if we would choose to understand and learn empathetic communications tempered with acceptance, respect, knowledge, and the search for truth.
Btw--- LOL--- he is learning this because he accepted that I ‘won’ one point---- if applying the assumption that infinity in dimensional theory were true because of our inability to perceive beyond our human physical structure--- then one has to assume that every possible outcome of right or wrong in truth has to all be true because mathematically, in an infinite universe, all outcomes eventually equate to the value of true. Therefore, there is no plausible reason to create a biased argument in the first place because everyone’s opinions or perceptions must be assumed as someone’s truth. Double up the LOL, considering that I was taking the position of NOT trying to win any sides, just sharing personal perspective.
NOVEMBER 8, 2008
Surprisingly, doesn’t believe in an existence of a divine, nor does he believe infinity is truly possible --- he believes all things are finite, otherwise, he is unable to calculate or prove it’s relative existence. His truth and beauty only lies in the proof of the equation and absolutes, including predictable control of the outcomes, eventually mastering the control.
OUCH. That threw me for a loop.
My perspective (from shamanic thoughts influences) is in the inter-relationship of all matter and ‘anti-matter’ as a symbiosis (in equilibrium status) to perpetuate existence in kinetic energy state equals life. That is, through hierarchy of energy states that exist as in the examples of atomic structure, this ‘hidden’ desire of existence (of a divine nature) requires evolutionary state and transformation which creates and ascertains that infinity then is possible (and required) due to the fact that the unseen dimensional universe is evolving as much as in the examples of our physical evolutions, and that, our world’s evolutionary status is a foundational energy exchange that ‘feeds’ the grander hierarchy of the universe itself--- so the divine is within and without us, at all times, in a symbiotic exchange….. BUT that we, in our limited physical capabilities to perceive this in physical sensory form--- are us unable to comprehend the inter-dependant relationship of true string theory (which is flawed for its linear propositions) or ‘butterfly effects’ – which is why Occams Razor was postulated into quantum theory in the first place…
That threw him for a loop.
We are at an “argumentative’ impasse due to opposing points of perception. I consider this a gift--- as each one of us has the unique ability to gift the universe with our personal experience. He sees beauty in life like we all do, but he chooses to see death as a finite that is separate from life and an ultimate end. I choose to see death as a transformation that is a necessary existence for the cycle of life, continuity, of sorts.
He seems to appreciate the ‘gift’ of opposing views as well. But damned if I didn’t have to “artfully” earn the position of respect for my point of view in the argument. However, he is learning that empathetic communication is the key for non-escalating and non- isolating interpersonal skills.
What a beautiful world it could be if we would choose to understand and learn empathetic communications tempered with acceptance, respect, knowledge, and the search for truth.
Btw--- LOL--- he is learning this because he accepted that I ‘won’ one point---- if applying the assumption that infinity in dimensional theory were true because of our inability to perceive beyond our human physical structure--- then one has to assume that every possible outcome of right or wrong in truth has to all be true because mathematically, in an infinite universe, all outcomes eventually equate to the value of true. Therefore, there is no plausible reason to create a biased argument in the first place because everyone’s opinions or perceptions must be assumed as someone’s truth. Double up the LOL, considering that I was taking the position of NOT trying to win any sides, just sharing personal perspective.
NOVEMBER 8, 2008
meditation essay
originally written Jan 2009
A thought enveloped me when awakening from a deep dream one morning and I suddenly felt this had to be written to a friend right away. Then it evolved, developed, into something more—a message perhaps, or even a teaching of some sort. None-the-less--- it began as a vision in a state of deep meditation while asleep.
It began as a picture of the place where sound did not exist, then sound is born, but it is the sound of nature before we could speak-- before words were formed... where music is not structured, and before the world became 'self-aware' away from the symbiosis of the universal purity of "one energy source"...
There was a hidden language there--- a series of noises, perhaps, or tones, or rhythm: A heartbeat, a scream of an eagle, a single whisper of the wind caressing the pedals of a newly opened flower. Before there was smell or touch—with eyes closed, there is the distant murmur of the stars in all life as it began.
Within that language is the sound of the soul that mankind has become afraid of – it speaks of the mirror of things of non-existence – the things that continue to exist beyond this physical world --- beyond our ordinary vision.
This is what we fear most---looking through the greatest mirror and walking on the line that unifies, rather than divides, life and death--- it is the way to realize the cycle of karma in new form. As children, we are taught to be only physically self-aware for this physical world---- we are taught by the masters and leaders of new religion that the division of our soul and body is so great, we will not answer to our soul, but rather to God through these leaders. Yet we inherently feel and know, whether we are able to listen to our soul or not--- we know each must also answer to their own karmic cycle and recognize their own spiritual evolutionary path. It is what we fear most, having to answer to our own non-physical self if ever reaching self-actualization and the responsibilities that may follow (to give up our physical selves to the greater).
In desperation and final acts of defiance, our physical selves hold on to the precious material world things that once brought us the memories of innocent youth as then in adulthood as we deniably but secretly cherish the ambitions that would lead us to a seat of social power and political control. Our physical life becomes symbolic of status brands, wealth and assimilation into the pages of the favored in society--- as we become more like the reproduced collections of tchotchke in dusted rows on ornamental shelves that clutter the visage of the room. All these actions are carelessly time consumed with too much wasted energy, instead of celebrating the unique position we each hold to post and herald our contribution to the giant webbed puzzle known as the universe. If only we were to recognize our unique status--- our unique selves and unique beauty -----
Perhaps it is time to honor each self; acknowledge our inner self hears and knows what our purpose is; let go of those things physical that would bind us into the mold made of us. Beyond labels, categories, and statistics – we are beautiful individuals who are integrally a unique part of the whole—of all the fabric of life and universe. We are, in fact – much more, much greater, once the fear of acting upon our own voice and inner self is cast away. We become ‘activators’ of the essence of life, experience, evolution and accomplishments. It is the conflict within ourselves that creates the fear that would deny us of our position in life. It is that conflict that we use to label, judge, decide bias, defy, abstain, begin wars, assign negative suggestions, seek power and control --- all those negative things we desire be removed when others would categorize each one of us. It is within this conflict we choose our lone wolf behaviors, and pride ourselves in the distinction of a label deemed negative by the statistical norm. Instead, it seems we need to celebrate our unique contribution not by labels but by courage to lead and be free. Because after all is done – as the Tibetans would mention about the ‘temporary’ of all things natural---as individual selves, be it child, genius, artist, adult, parent, grandparent, professional, clergy, entrepreneur, lover, founder, discoverer, community member, traveler, or any other calling we might find --- we are remembered by our passions and not where or how we are/were labeled. It is our actions and not the gifts we were born with--- ie, our commitment to our passion and not just the talent--- that truly becomes our definition; regardless of genes or environmental circumstances we were given.
Then it is also understood--- all core desires and beliefs, 'religions'/faiths, etc., are stating the same, feeling the same, and knowing of the same--- but the barrier is within their own language, self-perspective, varying voices of communication and willfulness towards egocentric self-power as derived from fear, and control -- rather than the celebration of being a 'celebrated' singular entity piece in the giant jigsaw puzzle of life itself... (Appreciation of the gift of allowing ‘to have become in individual form' as a true rarity among the infinite probable number of energy particles that are in continuity...)
In this New Year, “become” and find inner peace by self-action and removing self-conflict. It is time to acknowledge the voice before voice came—the sound of the soul within. It is time, to deny that the physical world is the only one in existence and that all the material judgments are necessary--- we are here to be cherished temporarily, in this lifetime – and to evolve ourselves on both the physical and non-physical planes. It is time, to peacefully unify our place in both, then to honor the uniqueness and responsibility we have been bestowed upon, to exist in this moment with creative action we are capable of. Be the unique link within human society that the universe asks you to be through your soul’s desires. Believe in the proactive path that will feed your courage to propel beyond fear; believe in your passion, your evolution, contribution and purpose, and be free.
A thought enveloped me when awakening from a deep dream one morning and I suddenly felt this had to be written to a friend right away. Then it evolved, developed, into something more—a message perhaps, or even a teaching of some sort. None-the-less--- it began as a vision in a state of deep meditation while asleep.
It began as a picture of the place where sound did not exist, then sound is born, but it is the sound of nature before we could speak-- before words were formed... where music is not structured, and before the world became 'self-aware' away from the symbiosis of the universal purity of "one energy source"...
There was a hidden language there--- a series of noises, perhaps, or tones, or rhythm: A heartbeat, a scream of an eagle, a single whisper of the wind caressing the pedals of a newly opened flower. Before there was smell or touch—with eyes closed, there is the distant murmur of the stars in all life as it began.
Within that language is the sound of the soul that mankind has become afraid of – it speaks of the mirror of things of non-existence – the things that continue to exist beyond this physical world --- beyond our ordinary vision.
This is what we fear most---looking through the greatest mirror and walking on the line that unifies, rather than divides, life and death--- it is the way to realize the cycle of karma in new form. As children, we are taught to be only physically self-aware for this physical world---- we are taught by the masters and leaders of new religion that the division of our soul and body is so great, we will not answer to our soul, but rather to God through these leaders. Yet we inherently feel and know, whether we are able to listen to our soul or not--- we know each must also answer to their own karmic cycle and recognize their own spiritual evolutionary path. It is what we fear most, having to answer to our own non-physical self if ever reaching self-actualization and the responsibilities that may follow (to give up our physical selves to the greater).
In desperation and final acts of defiance, our physical selves hold on to the precious material world things that once brought us the memories of innocent youth as then in adulthood as we deniably but secretly cherish the ambitions that would lead us to a seat of social power and political control. Our physical life becomes symbolic of status brands, wealth and assimilation into the pages of the favored in society--- as we become more like the reproduced collections of tchotchke in dusted rows on ornamental shelves that clutter the visage of the room. All these actions are carelessly time consumed with too much wasted energy, instead of celebrating the unique position we each hold to post and herald our contribution to the giant webbed puzzle known as the universe. If only we were to recognize our unique status--- our unique selves and unique beauty -----
Perhaps it is time to honor each self; acknowledge our inner self hears and knows what our purpose is; let go of those things physical that would bind us into the mold made of us. Beyond labels, categories, and statistics – we are beautiful individuals who are integrally a unique part of the whole—of all the fabric of life and universe. We are, in fact – much more, much greater, once the fear of acting upon our own voice and inner self is cast away. We become ‘activators’ of the essence of life, experience, evolution and accomplishments. It is the conflict within ourselves that creates the fear that would deny us of our position in life. It is that conflict that we use to label, judge, decide bias, defy, abstain, begin wars, assign negative suggestions, seek power and control --- all those negative things we desire be removed when others would categorize each one of us. It is within this conflict we choose our lone wolf behaviors, and pride ourselves in the distinction of a label deemed negative by the statistical norm. Instead, it seems we need to celebrate our unique contribution not by labels but by courage to lead and be free. Because after all is done – as the Tibetans would mention about the ‘temporary’ of all things natural---as individual selves, be it child, genius, artist, adult, parent, grandparent, professional, clergy, entrepreneur, lover, founder, discoverer, community member, traveler, or any other calling we might find --- we are remembered by our passions and not where or how we are/were labeled. It is our actions and not the gifts we were born with--- ie, our commitment to our passion and not just the talent--- that truly becomes our definition; regardless of genes or environmental circumstances we were given.
Then it is also understood--- all core desires and beliefs, 'religions'/faiths, etc., are stating the same, feeling the same, and knowing of the same--- but the barrier is within their own language, self-perspective, varying voices of communication and willfulness towards egocentric self-power as derived from fear, and control -- rather than the celebration of being a 'celebrated' singular entity piece in the giant jigsaw puzzle of life itself... (Appreciation of the gift of allowing ‘to have become in individual form' as a true rarity among the infinite probable number of energy particles that are in continuity...)
In this New Year, “become” and find inner peace by self-action and removing self-conflict. It is time to acknowledge the voice before voice came—the sound of the soul within. It is time, to deny that the physical world is the only one in existence and that all the material judgments are necessary--- we are here to be cherished temporarily, in this lifetime – and to evolve ourselves on both the physical and non-physical planes. It is time, to peacefully unify our place in both, then to honor the uniqueness and responsibility we have been bestowed upon, to exist in this moment with creative action we are capable of. Be the unique link within human society that the universe asks you to be through your soul’s desires. Believe in the proactive path that will feed your courage to propel beyond fear; believe in your passion, your evolution, contribution and purpose, and be free.
keepers of this reality
What a strange journey we travel when embarking on the path of life. It leads us to pitfalls and then carries us to celebrations, sometimes, even awarding us with mysteries that might be our claim for accolade. The turmoils encountered assign us with responsibilities that we never seem to be prepared for, yet manage; the destinies are always one of surprise in arrival, no matter the stages of planning or not.
I wonder then, how is the magnificence of the universe to be interpreted to us, in our egocentric state of being? We are so simply the spawn of vast state of quantum energy units formed into atoms and molecules---- we are merely, part of the greater collective. But our infancy of progression blinds us to our fate, as we choose to interpret this connectedness into a divide, and celebrate the dichotomy only with burdens of political and monetary desires. Where do we so choose to release the capacity of our consciousness? When?
Who are we to question the foundations of traditions laid before us in forms of organizations and church fathers? Who are we to question the truth told us by written works of prophets? Who are we to think we are physical representative sparks of the divine?
These questions I do not know the answers to, yet sometimes I feel them. It is the way of the existing modern churches, perhaps, to regard such as blasphemy. But undeniably, we assume the role of questioning when internal perspectives become forced upon us at crossroads during times of turmoil.
It is the time of the prophets they say- but I am convinced, we are, equipped and called upon to be – the keepers of this reality—if we choose…
I wonder then, how is the magnificence of the universe to be interpreted to us, in our egocentric state of being? We are so simply the spawn of vast state of quantum energy units formed into atoms and molecules---- we are merely, part of the greater collective. But our infancy of progression blinds us to our fate, as we choose to interpret this connectedness into a divide, and celebrate the dichotomy only with burdens of political and monetary desires. Where do we so choose to release the capacity of our consciousness? When?
Who are we to question the foundations of traditions laid before us in forms of organizations and church fathers? Who are we to question the truth told us by written works of prophets? Who are we to think we are physical representative sparks of the divine?
These questions I do not know the answers to, yet sometimes I feel them. It is the way of the existing modern churches, perhaps, to regard such as blasphemy. But undeniably, we assume the role of questioning when internal perspectives become forced upon us at crossroads during times of turmoil.
It is the time of the prophets they say- but I am convinced, we are, equipped and called upon to be – the keepers of this reality—if we choose…
Are we at the rubicon yet?
originally written 2007
I had a perfectly good day running, cross-training, yoga & meditation yesterday – then I went to a large grocery store. Perhaps it was doing the yoga just prior to – but these thoughts crept through while attempting to navigate the normal grocery chores....
Recently changes in budgeting tactics, coupons and lists were in hand. Of course, the usual – BOGO deals, ‘spend X amount and get this for free’ deals. Some were advantageous; some were just plain over the top (don’t have enough pantry space anyway!) As I went against the principles of a time-constrained convenience store society (ie: took my time!) to look up and down the aisles slowly – I painfully reminded myself of all of those little marketing tricks (‘BRAND on SALE! BUY NOW’, ‘BRAND X BETTER THAN BRAND Y BETTER THAN GENERIC’) --- but having been an industry professional, I had already learned that sometimes – these could be designed misnomers merely for the sake of that extra buck from the consumer. However, it certainly has created a lovely multi-choice mega-billion (trillion??) industry for marketing, grocery store shelf space fees, advertising, legal teams, commercial construction (hey, the stores are bigger than ever!), packaging, and of course shipping and transport. Looking at the large picture – my mind got littered with a bunch of Carlin-esque questions (no insults to anyone intended!):
1. Is food really food (beneficial to us) by the time we open the package?
2. Who really is responsible for the energy crises – and why are average consumers the ones forced to pay higher pump prices?
3. With the number of ‘mega-stores’ on every block – were they built to actually increase revenue or to do ‘tricky-dick’ accounting (think Enron) – and pump up actual ‘demand’ numbers for production over the last 20 years (hey—I don’t remember too many mega-stores before the great WalMart/ Kmart expansion wars. Then everyone else did the same thing.)
4. Supposedly, point #3 was to increase efficiency. Unfortunately, I don’t seem to find efficiency when I am stuck in traffic for hours just to get to one particular store a few miles away stuck in between the other mega-store complexes between the new traffic lights and patterns that were built after eminent domain was used to command previous land-owner homes to be turned over because the mega-stores claimed the local population demanded the road…….
5. BTW – did point #3 save transportation energy fees? I didn’t quite realize that tractor trailers used less gas when stuck in traffic.
6. Oh yeah—if the actual demand was so high, why do we have sites like “Over-stock.com”?
7. I look down the aisles and wonder how many garbage dump trucks will it take to remove the non-recyclable packaging trash afterwards --- and I can’t even begin to imagine the size of the dump site, or the amount of untraceable toxins released into the atmosphere at incinerator sites. How much does it cost me to recycle all that stuff anyway?
8. Getting back to food – How many children really know what the ‘original’ ingredients of that package food item looked like? For that matter – how many adults?
9. The new ‘organic/green’ packaged goods kick. Okay- they are trying. But again—inside the industry, there seems to be a joke about how to ‘twist’ the definition of organic, and sell the idea to consumers that authentic organic is impossible (which is true for mass quantity sales.) Also, within the industry – retailers like WalMart have created new ‘acceptable’ limits for declaring what really is organic by utilizing loop holes. Oh yeah—to make sustainable shelf-stable organic goods, most of the time, the packaging has to be altered to force those conditions. Oops – there goes the ‘green’ message again. (there are a few small studies working to remedy this, but it might be a few years away)
10. Hey—I am VERY GLAD that creative types have jobs due to this over-excessive Bacchus celebrating Roman life-style. Just think of all those silly jingles, pop songs picked up for major ads, elevator and background music in the stores, photography for ads, models and actors who are paid endorsees, books and essays about this stuff --- and comedians like Carlin! It’s made their jobs MUCH easier – there is SO MUCH material!
11. Recently voted one of the world’s worst products ever due to marketing--- Dasani water by Coca-Cola. The judges said that marketing over-priced water from ordinary tap sources with ordinary purification methods to multiple global locations was simply bad, advantageous and embarrassing business. Yeah, I think I could go with that.
12. I think I could become obese just by taste-testing every sample promotion product pushed down my throat if I went grocery shopping every day. But then again… I wouldn’t have to buy groceries at all…
13. So how long before we actually hire individual packaging experts for ourselves? We have plastic surgeons, cosmetic and apparel consultants, hair-dressers, image consultants—why not just create a new industry for ‘packaging people’—(it worked for water and silly putty). Then again – maybe that’s the secret to Posh and Paris’s material success!!!
14. How much gas did I actually end up using for the 3 mile slow, stop and start traffic?
15. This mega-consumerism thing reminds me of the old ads for Texas – “bigger is better” --- a reflection of the last few years of government?
16. If we did clear out all of these pseudo-warehouses (hey, those mega-stores have replaced the previous local warehouses, after all, and we only have selective ‘distribution centers’ now) – even with the ‘minimal’ nutrition value some of these items have – would there be enough to feed every hungry person on the planet?
17. What is going to happen to the EXPIRED items (in store or in homes)?
18. Ok- I’ve had enough rant thoughts. I am grateful and appreciative for all the creative choices available, just a bit overwhelmed. Now, did I actually buy what I came in for?
I had a perfectly good day running, cross-training, yoga & meditation yesterday – then I went to a large grocery store. Perhaps it was doing the yoga just prior to – but these thoughts crept through while attempting to navigate the normal grocery chores....
Recently changes in budgeting tactics, coupons and lists were in hand. Of course, the usual – BOGO deals, ‘spend X amount and get this for free’ deals. Some were advantageous; some were just plain over the top (don’t have enough pantry space anyway!) As I went against the principles of a time-constrained convenience store society (ie: took my time!) to look up and down the aisles slowly – I painfully reminded myself of all of those little marketing tricks (‘BRAND on SALE! BUY NOW’, ‘BRAND X BETTER THAN BRAND Y BETTER THAN GENERIC’) --- but having been an industry professional, I had already learned that sometimes – these could be designed misnomers merely for the sake of that extra buck from the consumer. However, it certainly has created a lovely multi-choice mega-billion (trillion??) industry for marketing, grocery store shelf space fees, advertising, legal teams, commercial construction (hey, the stores are bigger than ever!), packaging, and of course shipping and transport. Looking at the large picture – my mind got littered with a bunch of Carlin-esque questions (no insults to anyone intended!):
1. Is food really food (beneficial to us) by the time we open the package?
2. Who really is responsible for the energy crises – and why are average consumers the ones forced to pay higher pump prices?
3. With the number of ‘mega-stores’ on every block – were they built to actually increase revenue or to do ‘tricky-dick’ accounting (think Enron) – and pump up actual ‘demand’ numbers for production over the last 20 years (hey—I don’t remember too many mega-stores before the great WalMart/ Kmart expansion wars. Then everyone else did the same thing.)
4. Supposedly, point #3 was to increase efficiency. Unfortunately, I don’t seem to find efficiency when I am stuck in traffic for hours just to get to one particular store a few miles away stuck in between the other mega-store complexes between the new traffic lights and patterns that were built after eminent domain was used to command previous land-owner homes to be turned over because the mega-stores claimed the local population demanded the road…….
5. BTW – did point #3 save transportation energy fees? I didn’t quite realize that tractor trailers used less gas when stuck in traffic.
6. Oh yeah—if the actual demand was so high, why do we have sites like “Over-stock.com”?
7. I look down the aisles and wonder how many garbage dump trucks will it take to remove the non-recyclable packaging trash afterwards --- and I can’t even begin to imagine the size of the dump site, or the amount of untraceable toxins released into the atmosphere at incinerator sites. How much does it cost me to recycle all that stuff anyway?
8. Getting back to food – How many children really know what the ‘original’ ingredients of that package food item looked like? For that matter – how many adults?
9. The new ‘organic/green’ packaged goods kick. Okay- they are trying. But again—inside the industry, there seems to be a joke about how to ‘twist’ the definition of organic, and sell the idea to consumers that authentic organic is impossible (which is true for mass quantity sales.) Also, within the industry – retailers like WalMart have created new ‘acceptable’ limits for declaring what really is organic by utilizing loop holes. Oh yeah—to make sustainable shelf-stable organic goods, most of the time, the packaging has to be altered to force those conditions. Oops – there goes the ‘green’ message again. (there are a few small studies working to remedy this, but it might be a few years away)
10. Hey—I am VERY GLAD that creative types have jobs due to this over-excessive Bacchus celebrating Roman life-style. Just think of all those silly jingles, pop songs picked up for major ads, elevator and background music in the stores, photography for ads, models and actors who are paid endorsees, books and essays about this stuff --- and comedians like Carlin! It’s made their jobs MUCH easier – there is SO MUCH material!
11. Recently voted one of the world’s worst products ever due to marketing--- Dasani water by Coca-Cola. The judges said that marketing over-priced water from ordinary tap sources with ordinary purification methods to multiple global locations was simply bad, advantageous and embarrassing business. Yeah, I think I could go with that.
12. I think I could become obese just by taste-testing every sample promotion product pushed down my throat if I went grocery shopping every day. But then again… I wouldn’t have to buy groceries at all…
13. So how long before we actually hire individual packaging experts for ourselves? We have plastic surgeons, cosmetic and apparel consultants, hair-dressers, image consultants—why not just create a new industry for ‘packaging people’—(it worked for water and silly putty). Then again – maybe that’s the secret to Posh and Paris’s material success!!!
14. How much gas did I actually end up using for the 3 mile slow, stop and start traffic?
15. This mega-consumerism thing reminds me of the old ads for Texas – “bigger is better” --- a reflection of the last few years of government?
16. If we did clear out all of these pseudo-warehouses (hey, those mega-stores have replaced the previous local warehouses, after all, and we only have selective ‘distribution centers’ now) – even with the ‘minimal’ nutrition value some of these items have – would there be enough to feed every hungry person on the planet?
17. What is going to happen to the EXPIRED items (in store or in homes)?
18. Ok- I’ve had enough rant thoughts. I am grateful and appreciative for all the creative choices available, just a bit overwhelmed. Now, did I actually buy what I came in for?
muy interesante
originally written November 2008
This recent adventure, one without much expectation, has created a new void within. I am finding a spatial emptiness where once stood the certainty of stemmed regularity--- the suburban patterning for securing a future within a career as the only option to an otherwise dull and abstinent lifestyle devoid of travel and modern conveniences. Now I long for a new world that beckons me to respond to assist a medium that cannot be explained, expressed, or afforded by the physical means.
The scenery pasted in front of the once wild desert plateau is the wasted mining towns and the ‘new’ corporate globalization strategy. The creation of super-highways to ‘el zona industria’ and GMC, and the location of the new WallMart shopping malls (complete with Firestone, Costco and McDonald’s) on the outskirts of the city seemed a sarcastic surrealist interpretation of the once serene with nature but harsh Aztec lifestyles. A complete ‘land of extremes’, my friends say—in which the old culture clashes with the new baby-boom youth, yet the church and pre-christian traditions still live side-by-side in an understated model of 16th century global conquest. In this way, the adobe buildings that threaten to crumble into dust in the old city, is intertwined with the Tele-Mex internet and satellite provisions run by the sparse few lucky enough to afford their BMW’s and Mercedes driven from their state of the art interior decorated, modern, ‘grande casa’. Odd how juxtaposed the cultural precedence’s are with the scheming desperate desires to become enslaved by the ‘nuevo riche’, a noted marketing success of modern empires.
In this scenario, I find myself internally choking, as I see only the devastation of the rich tradition and craftsmanship of the past, by unnecessary mass production and creations of big business. The delicacies of the locals, the gorditas con quesco y salsa, and chili rellenos, already redefined into mass marketed similes by corporate representation in the U.S., is soon to become extinct locally to the Burger King, Carl’s Jr. and Starbucks. The local artesian shops carrying hand reproductions of centuries old tradition, now government sponsored and managed, can only muster hope that a single conscience of appreciation might offer a few pesos this day, to honor masterful representations of the lineage that once carried generations of bloodlines in proud cultures lost to new ‘civilized’ nations.
Here in the reality lies the portent imagery of the destiny we so fear that we choose blinders with mirrors that would not only deny us of vision but also rob onlookers of spying upon our blindness. What we offer is the glossed impressionist versions of skyscraper grandeurs; the melting pot syndrome that has pre-defined the ‘desirables’ vs. the ‘deniables’ in boundaries beyond our right to choose. Somewhere within, we cheat ourselves of the challenges and joys of true global community and world sustainability; perhaps even, unwittingly, we drive to a luxury holiday in the giant Suburban truck made with the cheapened sweat of young hopefuls crammed into a cactus ridden desert plateau factory. These young hopefuls are bred to dream of their own giant truck one day, as they consume the Dairy Queen shake with their large fried chicken platter from KFC, while finishing with one of those Marlboro cigarettes we choose to ban from our ‘superior’ lives for reasons of ‘modern’ health.
It is amusing how easily we presume the graffiti on the walls of the barrio districts in cities like New York and Los Angeles are so non-sequitur to our existence. The plumage of the neo-culture we call so modern has invaded the very soul of the anticipatory youth in these foreign arenas. It is the re-emergence of the old ‘streets are paved with gold’ that has since converged with the swords of the conquistadors. The magazines, videos, MTV music and the internet, has created illusions of decadence that now permeates the fantasies of the innocent children that once danced with marionettes while dreaming only of their favorite ‘helados’ flavors. Now, they dance to the latest number one hit on VH-1 channel and emulate their favorite personas as they drink Coca-Cola, shop at Sam’s Club and buy every en vogue item necessary to keep up within the community.
In an interesting turn of events, I was gifted with happen chance as I met a wonderful son of an astronomer, himself a former pharmacy student turned anthropologist. His academia time-line was way-laid for economic reasons as much as for life events that interfere with the best of plans. Life is often such a series of twisted paths and turns. There are bridges and walls, tunnels and shortcuts. This time, he was presented to me in an appropriate world of the arts - led by the unseen guidance of spirit and passion.
By coincidence, I attended a dance rehearsal for a heartwarming Christmas dance show based on “The Little Matchgirl” (by Hans Christian Andersen). It was a large community cast, one in which this new acquaintance had recently been satisfyingly ensnared in, as the role of dancing Santa. This dance troupe had a small but lively presence in a large city in Mexico. He was concerned about his performance, as he was not a dancer, but rather, one who loved participation in life. Originally asked to video previous performances, they had a shortage of male dancers, so thus--- a new dancing Santa! I assured him (with my early years active in the arts and music,) that he needn’t worry about lack of technique; that true performance comes from the spirit and heart, not merely from training. He smiled.
As we continued to exchange the broken English and broken Spanish into hopeful communications – he explained he had never been to the states. He asked much—whether we lived like on television and in the movies, whether the things he heard were true. With some difficulty—I did manage to describe that though some of the stories might emulate life, the sad reality is that it seemed more we were too easily swayed by the imagery of the silver screen. The advertising was too much a seduction for our young to dissuade; theirs has become a ‘duty’ to be good citizens through purchasing their popularity and status. I tried to explain how easily our spirits and theirs, could be made ‘empty’ and wanton, as we were reminded too much of our inadequacies when we did not possess the luxury items early enough, and it was certainly never nearly enough. It was then, the conversation turned.
This particular mention initiated the focus that ensued, during which he spoke of his work and interest in anthropology. He is centered on the local history, of the Mesoamerica’s, and the legends. In my broken Spanish and his broken English—we were able to share a commonality of interest in the prophecies from the past – in this Age of Aquarius. Of course he knew of the Condor (representing the peaceful, feminine spiritual) and Eagle (representing the powerful/ forceful, male physical) in the Americas, the Eagle (link to the spiritual deity world) and Dragon (combination of life/ power/ mystical, also often suggested to be the ‘feathered serpent’) in China—and then he taught me something new.
He explained (from his studies) that there was a line from Chile to Monterrey, Mexico that partly followed the Amazon river, but also, was an extended energy line—one that is the serpentine line. The serpent represents wisdom, from the belly of the earth and Pachamama. The head seems to seat itself in Monterrey. This line is important somehow, as he believes the mystical prophets the local indigenous spoke of. He compared this line and the importance of the serpent to how the Egyptians spoke of the sphinx, and the comparatives of the timelines and astrological ages. He listened as I spoke of my thoughts on some prophecies from Mongolia— that his may also be signifying that the eagle and the serpent must make union for the ‘dragon to phoenix’ before human fate would realize responsibility and birth of a ‘new being’ for peace. He stated his sentiment as “exactamente”. He agreed that this may be similar to the ones that he is learning about, where the people speak of serpents and birds of all types, and the intertwining of such things, before the dawn of the ‘new era’.
We both agreed, all of this discussion, is ‘muy interesante’.
But now I question my being and my physical presence. I wonder where I am placed, where I am to be placed. The more I have delved into this alter world, the more I question how would I, so naïve in many customs of the world and so very inexperienced in worldly ways—how could I be one standing at a precipice point for any task in this era and time? All the visions and dreams suggesting mysteries and reincarnations from previous worlds could not possibly assure me the confidence required for this task at hand. The more things I learn and read now, the more I see how much I may have wasted years of opportunity. I cannot ‘knowingly’ from this time, assure those who might listen, of the need to ‘merge’ the serpent and the eagle or condor within themselves--- as it is the impregnation of the true soul to the physical being that is the key to awaken us to our responsibilities and ties to the source from which we have come. How symbolic it is in every way—as the sperm to the egg within the womb, the spark of physical life that rejuvenates and gives birth to the spiritual unseen. The very fact that mere energy strives to continue life with recycled bonds of ever-changing physical matter—the interwoven strands of invisible links as the quantum egg-like particles become fertilized by the very physical serpentine bonds that desire to form temporary structure. The beauty of this creation expounded into DNA and mitochondria of all living things is formally sealed by the beyond human communication of a deep unconditional love to give life to existence, and existence to life. How does one describe a possible truth that the unseen and the seen are in symbiotic relationship governed by a divine existence of universal consciousness beyond our lacking perception? So simple it seems in a distant memory of an innocence of being that perhaps I once was. Yet accustomed I have become, to accept before questioning, why we try so hard to deny such, that we would build vast religions and governed distractions to counter a realization such as this might be, as cherished and guarded for centuries.
How can I, as a lowly (physical) person of non-consequence, suddenly follow or describe this? All the times I have chosen to offer myself to be something greater for the universe – did not possibly prepare me, or any audience that might be mustered, to this primordial truth that could exist in, and outside of us.
I often question too, the sanity of this association. Is it possible that I am seeing truth, or perhaps, I am haunted by a fantasy of imagination? Am I caught in a precarious web of circumstance which might betray me at any moment? Where my heart lies is unknown, as it has hardened only to a good and peaceful strength to survive, one that will not require companionship, though desiring a type that cannot be found. It feels like a new test is upon me, one I cannot answer easily nor apprentice for; one that will deny me the security I have worked too hard to achieve. It is the cross-roads presented to me now, or perhaps again. Yet one that is not seeking to lay in silent denial.
This recent adventure, one without much expectation, has created a new void within. I am finding a spatial emptiness where once stood the certainty of stemmed regularity--- the suburban patterning for securing a future within a career as the only option to an otherwise dull and abstinent lifestyle devoid of travel and modern conveniences. Now I long for a new world that beckons me to respond to assist a medium that cannot be explained, expressed, or afforded by the physical means.
The scenery pasted in front of the once wild desert plateau is the wasted mining towns and the ‘new’ corporate globalization strategy. The creation of super-highways to ‘el zona industria’ and GMC, and the location of the new WallMart shopping malls (complete with Firestone, Costco and McDonald’s) on the outskirts of the city seemed a sarcastic surrealist interpretation of the once serene with nature but harsh Aztec lifestyles. A complete ‘land of extremes’, my friends say—in which the old culture clashes with the new baby-boom youth, yet the church and pre-christian traditions still live side-by-side in an understated model of 16th century global conquest. In this way, the adobe buildings that threaten to crumble into dust in the old city, is intertwined with the Tele-Mex internet and satellite provisions run by the sparse few lucky enough to afford their BMW’s and Mercedes driven from their state of the art interior decorated, modern, ‘grande casa’. Odd how juxtaposed the cultural precedence’s are with the scheming desperate desires to become enslaved by the ‘nuevo riche’, a noted marketing success of modern empires.
In this scenario, I find myself internally choking, as I see only the devastation of the rich tradition and craftsmanship of the past, by unnecessary mass production and creations of big business. The delicacies of the locals, the gorditas con quesco y salsa, and chili rellenos, already redefined into mass marketed similes by corporate representation in the U.S., is soon to become extinct locally to the Burger King, Carl’s Jr. and Starbucks. The local artesian shops carrying hand reproductions of centuries old tradition, now government sponsored and managed, can only muster hope that a single conscience of appreciation might offer a few pesos this day, to honor masterful representations of the lineage that once carried generations of bloodlines in proud cultures lost to new ‘civilized’ nations.
Here in the reality lies the portent imagery of the destiny we so fear that we choose blinders with mirrors that would not only deny us of vision but also rob onlookers of spying upon our blindness. What we offer is the glossed impressionist versions of skyscraper grandeurs; the melting pot syndrome that has pre-defined the ‘desirables’ vs. the ‘deniables’ in boundaries beyond our right to choose. Somewhere within, we cheat ourselves of the challenges and joys of true global community and world sustainability; perhaps even, unwittingly, we drive to a luxury holiday in the giant Suburban truck made with the cheapened sweat of young hopefuls crammed into a cactus ridden desert plateau factory. These young hopefuls are bred to dream of their own giant truck one day, as they consume the Dairy Queen shake with their large fried chicken platter from KFC, while finishing with one of those Marlboro cigarettes we choose to ban from our ‘superior’ lives for reasons of ‘modern’ health.
It is amusing how easily we presume the graffiti on the walls of the barrio districts in cities like New York and Los Angeles are so non-sequitur to our existence. The plumage of the neo-culture we call so modern has invaded the very soul of the anticipatory youth in these foreign arenas. It is the re-emergence of the old ‘streets are paved with gold’ that has since converged with the swords of the conquistadors. The magazines, videos, MTV music and the internet, has created illusions of decadence that now permeates the fantasies of the innocent children that once danced with marionettes while dreaming only of their favorite ‘helados’ flavors. Now, they dance to the latest number one hit on VH-1 channel and emulate their favorite personas as they drink Coca-Cola, shop at Sam’s Club and buy every en vogue item necessary to keep up within the community.
In an interesting turn of events, I was gifted with happen chance as I met a wonderful son of an astronomer, himself a former pharmacy student turned anthropologist. His academia time-line was way-laid for economic reasons as much as for life events that interfere with the best of plans. Life is often such a series of twisted paths and turns. There are bridges and walls, tunnels and shortcuts. This time, he was presented to me in an appropriate world of the arts - led by the unseen guidance of spirit and passion.
By coincidence, I attended a dance rehearsal for a heartwarming Christmas dance show based on “The Little Matchgirl” (by Hans Christian Andersen). It was a large community cast, one in which this new acquaintance had recently been satisfyingly ensnared in, as the role of dancing Santa. This dance troupe had a small but lively presence in a large city in Mexico. He was concerned about his performance, as he was not a dancer, but rather, one who loved participation in life. Originally asked to video previous performances, they had a shortage of male dancers, so thus--- a new dancing Santa! I assured him (with my early years active in the arts and music,) that he needn’t worry about lack of technique; that true performance comes from the spirit and heart, not merely from training. He smiled.
As we continued to exchange the broken English and broken Spanish into hopeful communications – he explained he had never been to the states. He asked much—whether we lived like on television and in the movies, whether the things he heard were true. With some difficulty—I did manage to describe that though some of the stories might emulate life, the sad reality is that it seemed more we were too easily swayed by the imagery of the silver screen. The advertising was too much a seduction for our young to dissuade; theirs has become a ‘duty’ to be good citizens through purchasing their popularity and status. I tried to explain how easily our spirits and theirs, could be made ‘empty’ and wanton, as we were reminded too much of our inadequacies when we did not possess the luxury items early enough, and it was certainly never nearly enough. It was then, the conversation turned.
This particular mention initiated the focus that ensued, during which he spoke of his work and interest in anthropology. He is centered on the local history, of the Mesoamerica’s, and the legends. In my broken Spanish and his broken English—we were able to share a commonality of interest in the prophecies from the past – in this Age of Aquarius. Of course he knew of the Condor (representing the peaceful, feminine spiritual) and Eagle (representing the powerful/ forceful, male physical) in the Americas, the Eagle (link to the spiritual deity world) and Dragon (combination of life/ power/ mystical, also often suggested to be the ‘feathered serpent’) in China—and then he taught me something new.
He explained (from his studies) that there was a line from Chile to Monterrey, Mexico that partly followed the Amazon river, but also, was an extended energy line—one that is the serpentine line. The serpent represents wisdom, from the belly of the earth and Pachamama. The head seems to seat itself in Monterrey. This line is important somehow, as he believes the mystical prophets the local indigenous spoke of. He compared this line and the importance of the serpent to how the Egyptians spoke of the sphinx, and the comparatives of the timelines and astrological ages. He listened as I spoke of my thoughts on some prophecies from Mongolia— that his may also be signifying that the eagle and the serpent must make union for the ‘dragon to phoenix’ before human fate would realize responsibility and birth of a ‘new being’ for peace. He stated his sentiment as “exactamente”. He agreed that this may be similar to the ones that he is learning about, where the people speak of serpents and birds of all types, and the intertwining of such things, before the dawn of the ‘new era’.
We both agreed, all of this discussion, is ‘muy interesante’.
But now I question my being and my physical presence. I wonder where I am placed, where I am to be placed. The more I have delved into this alter world, the more I question how would I, so naïve in many customs of the world and so very inexperienced in worldly ways—how could I be one standing at a precipice point for any task in this era and time? All the visions and dreams suggesting mysteries and reincarnations from previous worlds could not possibly assure me the confidence required for this task at hand. The more things I learn and read now, the more I see how much I may have wasted years of opportunity. I cannot ‘knowingly’ from this time, assure those who might listen, of the need to ‘merge’ the serpent and the eagle or condor within themselves--- as it is the impregnation of the true soul to the physical being that is the key to awaken us to our responsibilities and ties to the source from which we have come. How symbolic it is in every way—as the sperm to the egg within the womb, the spark of physical life that rejuvenates and gives birth to the spiritual unseen. The very fact that mere energy strives to continue life with recycled bonds of ever-changing physical matter—the interwoven strands of invisible links as the quantum egg-like particles become fertilized by the very physical serpentine bonds that desire to form temporary structure. The beauty of this creation expounded into DNA and mitochondria of all living things is formally sealed by the beyond human communication of a deep unconditional love to give life to existence, and existence to life. How does one describe a possible truth that the unseen and the seen are in symbiotic relationship governed by a divine existence of universal consciousness beyond our lacking perception? So simple it seems in a distant memory of an innocence of being that perhaps I once was. Yet accustomed I have become, to accept before questioning, why we try so hard to deny such, that we would build vast religions and governed distractions to counter a realization such as this might be, as cherished and guarded for centuries.
How can I, as a lowly (physical) person of non-consequence, suddenly follow or describe this? All the times I have chosen to offer myself to be something greater for the universe – did not possibly prepare me, or any audience that might be mustered, to this primordial truth that could exist in, and outside of us.
I often question too, the sanity of this association. Is it possible that I am seeing truth, or perhaps, I am haunted by a fantasy of imagination? Am I caught in a precarious web of circumstance which might betray me at any moment? Where my heart lies is unknown, as it has hardened only to a good and peaceful strength to survive, one that will not require companionship, though desiring a type that cannot be found. It feels like a new test is upon me, one I cannot answer easily nor apprentice for; one that will deny me the security I have worked too hard to achieve. It is the cross-roads presented to me now, or perhaps again. Yet one that is not seeking to lay in silent denial.
commentary 2 (prose)
from 2000, edited in 2006
Mass disturbances become ordinary kind
When marketed media rule sublime
Answering only to pocketed dollars
In hands and minds of golden collars
Speed race, space haste, consumed waste
Generated hate, political debate, genetic paste –
The convenient society has become
An invention of the undone
Mere testimonials of human fate
Junk bond calamity we are in wait.
Dare we disturb these destiny gates?
Mass disturbances become ordinary kind
When marketed media rule sublime
Answering only to pocketed dollars
In hands and minds of golden collars
Speed race, space haste, consumed waste
Generated hate, political debate, genetic paste –
The convenient society has become
An invention of the undone
Mere testimonials of human fate
Junk bond calamity we are in wait.
Dare we disturb these destiny gates?
commentary (prose)
Eager tapping of hearts that would dance on the earth when grass is fresh and soft
Full of dew and life that smells of earth and spring rain
Such is the spirit of youth so new it is to draw in first breath of air
The very scent of life begun and life ever til that day when death should reign
But this young flower knows not the end moment
Thinking only of the rhythm that is now and ever-changing, ever-living
It is where invention and creation exists
This is the hub of the soul’s communion with the universe
This is the spiritual abyss of glory –
So why strip and rob without intention, the very source of all that is?
Why sacrifice the soul to rob the body of life?
Why answer to rules of human condition – if only we were so astute;
To know more than what we are become --
Trained soldiers of fortune without conscience
For the glory of manmade providence short-lived
Weakened to the substance of bribery and comradery
Without the cadence of musical motion for allowing deafness
To the sounds of the reality beyond our body’s truly imperfect vision.
Full of dew and life that smells of earth and spring rain
Such is the spirit of youth so new it is to draw in first breath of air
The very scent of life begun and life ever til that day when death should reign
But this young flower knows not the end moment
Thinking only of the rhythm that is now and ever-changing, ever-living
It is where invention and creation exists
This is the hub of the soul’s communion with the universe
This is the spiritual abyss of glory –
So why strip and rob without intention, the very source of all that is?
Why sacrifice the soul to rob the body of life?
Why answer to rules of human condition – if only we were so astute;
To know more than what we are become --
Trained soldiers of fortune without conscience
For the glory of manmade providence short-lived
Weakened to the substance of bribery and comradery
Without the cadence of musical motion for allowing deafness
To the sounds of the reality beyond our body’s truly imperfect vision.
meditation discovery (prose)
smooth ripples echo
in harmonious beat
then pulsates to climb, to move,
to climax in systematic feat
words that add to enticing noise:
to appreciate only the cacophonic joys
in states confused with
blissful triumph and undue poise
this crazy, beautiful, lustful
moment tempts
the best of us too easily, sure
but are these memories and feelings,
if with desperation, pure?
this piece is pleasant, true -
but only a moment
but only a fragment
a segment
incomplete
of the whole
that should
could, would be-
soul, whole,
...life....
in harmonious beat
then pulsates to climb, to move,
to climax in systematic feat
words that add to enticing noise:
to appreciate only the cacophonic joys
in states confused with
blissful triumph and undue poise
this crazy, beautiful, lustful
moment tempts
the best of us too easily, sure
but are these memories and feelings,
if with desperation, pure?
this piece is pleasant, true -
but only a moment
but only a fragment
a segment
incomplete
of the whole
that should
could, would be-
soul, whole,
...life....
SOMETHING (prose)
Within the tragedy of forgotten mementos
Cast aside as burdens in the estate lots
Shelved pieces in a dark antique store corner
Lay what catches eye, beyond shadows
Of doubts; in brilliant effervescence, refusing rot,
This beautiful Something, tossed by mourners –
Perhaps without thought ---
Like a beautiful spiral or flower
With depths of an abyss to light
A stained glass amoeba caught ---
A loving creation of many hours
As a piece of hope so bright…
So as it speaks softly for new residence,
Did I dare and bring it to anew
Gratitude to make acquaintance
To the creator’s precious, hope filled views…
Cast aside as burdens in the estate lots
Shelved pieces in a dark antique store corner
Lay what catches eye, beyond shadows
Of doubts; in brilliant effervescence, refusing rot,
This beautiful Something, tossed by mourners –
Perhaps without thought ---
Like a beautiful spiral or flower
With depths of an abyss to light
A stained glass amoeba caught ---
A loving creation of many hours
As a piece of hope so bright…
So as it speaks softly for new residence,
Did I dare and bring it to anew
Gratitude to make acquaintance
To the creator’s precious, hope filled views…
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