fear and the security to be individual...

We as humans are bound by the pressures to be part of a pack, institution, group, label, social class, country. Many millenia ago it was something ingrained upon us as we (as fragile and primal creatures) fought against the perils of nature by joining packs. We would submit our weaker physical selves and wills into the dominion of the alphas that would make us feel secure. Our chances of survival would increase, as the odds of hunt, winning at war, warmth against the cold would be in more favor. If the perils of nature were too much, our children- might still survive raised by another - granting us another sense of security.

Over differing centuries, as the landscape of the world grew more familiar- we evolved, created, tested, designed and fortified materials, armaments, clothing, foods, shelter, traveling means --- to shrink our fears of being outside of a protective 'pack'.

Yet the fright or flight syndrome grows even in this modern world. Sometimes, by downturns of the economy, threats to loved ones, pressures placed upon us by bosses or corporations or politics and policies--- sometimes, just by propoganda and a mere suggestion by media. ("War of the Worlds", radio broadcast).

Do we need to fear? Do we want to fear? Is fear a constant requirement for our creativities and empathetic ability? Does fear make us learn? Does fear make us evolve?

Do we need to destroy or control to create fear?

Can we evolve beyond this primitive response trait?

human spiritual evolution

In the course of human events, the Maya describe how the 'world' as we know it has been destroyed in several civilizations and we are about to embark on yet another destruction. More accurately, human generated self-destruction. We may blame it on a lexicon of events-- as though we enter the nexuses and cannot continue. Perhaps there is another thought to consider. It seems humanity itself, like children wide-eyed by their first sense of control over a toy or mastering the first sand castle, enjoys the thrills of power and envelopment of existence to their command. The sheer joy and pleasure of the physical begs us to turn away from a universal consciousness that drives our inner spirits-- the spiritual world. We are so concerned with advancements of the physical world through technology, education (as we define it), finances, expansion-- that it seems the very balance of the physical and spiritual is condemned by most of the 'developed civilizations'.

I question then, what have we learned from history of previous great 'civilizations'? Many were formidably advanced for their times. We have yet to explain the mysteries of how pyramids and strange devices were built in Egypt. But each society ended as it found itself in a moment of emptiness of spirit as chaos lay before them. To me, it seems each society had evolved their physical and material ends but never quite found way to evolve their spiritual balances.

I suppose I wonder if that is the same status now? The precipices of the positive values of all the religions around the world (including those that I may not be fond of, considered modern 'cults') -- are always founded on principles of good. Along the way though, the physical values for material culture seemed to have crept in, as a hierarchy develops in each religion, requiring a power struggle and structure. It seems humanity cannot function without a contrived structure and a human derived, human judged system of values. We seem to fear not being able to place a judgement value on all things and persons more than fearing the chaos that we think will occur if we do not have this. Yet all of these labels were historically set into place as power plays by other humans.

What if, to save humanity, it is these very values and historically predetermined, unevolved spiritual values that are the things that deny us the peaceful unity we seek? What if we were able to teach each other ways to connect to the universal consciousness that we would find the confidence to know we are fulfilling the destiny we were born to follow? What if to do so, means to deny the value systems in place by the currently large organized and accepted 'religions' of the world?

This is in no way to negate their functions. Again, the precipices were founded on positive principles. But perhaps these have become tainted by the powerplays of humans along the way. Perhaps, it is time to allow a spiritual evolution that questions rules set by humans not free of their child-self 'ids'.

In a spiritual evolution, there must be consideration that we are all from the source of the same universal consciousness, we are all potentially constructed of molecules from the original 'Big Bang' and that we all potentially may contain a 'spark' of an atomic energy from the original source, that Christians may call God and the Holy Spirit. That would logically mean we could all tap into a 'God soul'-- a connected, perfect soul--- that would guide us to our purpose.

It is a fearful thing to trust and allow this. It could mean that centuries of human faith may be proven shallow and immaterial to the sense of universal flow. It may mean those in the upper eschelon of societies are actually the most lost, misdirected and impassionate. It could strike a blow in each of us if we find all of our beloved comfort levels of acceptability, terms of behavior, laws and assumed values of right and wrong--- no longer matter.

But what if? What if this is the path to enlightenment? To discard all the things the physical has taught us, to find the unity of the spirit and the body by accepting a higher sense of order that is beyond our capacity to see and describe in human form?

What are we in the scheme of things?

Many times were spent under a tree or walking alone in a mountain forest pondering what might be the total essence of the 'whole person'. Sure, each are born, raised, taught, influenced, guided, grown and set on a path to propagate the cycle. Every 'living' creature (or plant) is given that task. Yet, what else? What more? Somehow, there is this interconnectedness that mates each of our existences into the universe, as bound by a duty on this planet surviving in it's biosphere by an underlying symbiosis of life. Surely, there must be more?

Here in lies my personal quest. Countless hours, lost moments spent on the visions from deep dreams of another time at night, while thoughts sent from an unknown would permeate conscious meditation. In between, the doldrums of school, life activities, work, relationships would suffice to fill the time when the mind needed respite from the altered connection to the unknown that could not be described.

I suppose by some standards, there are those who would laughingly call this a form of insanity or perhaps a drug induced psychosis, especially 30 to 40 years ago. Perhaps, as I was certainly in a non-standard, abusive household with more than its share of difficulties. Yet, I fulfilled all of life's little physical 'tasks' as the 'perfect child' for years, labeled as gifted in music, in arts, in scholastics and aptitude, athletic, creative, accomplished. I performed over two dozen instruments, sang, won ribbons in science fairs, skipped grades and scored highly on tests. And learned to cut and perm hair, alter clothing, make costumes, and even cook fancy meals, bake and decorate cakes along the way. And I rebeled lightly in the teen years during college, then continued on my own life path soon after graduation. Of course I made a lot of mistakes along the way and made choices that many would question, but I could only make the choices that seem right for me to follow after a while. Physical life becomes just that eventually, for everyone I suppose. Considering all of the events, actually, the standards of pressures placed on today's children, I would be quite ordinary. And as ordinary, I did not stand out too much, or become famous (or 'infamous' for that matter), or known as more than 'ordinary'.

Oddly enough, I did find it strange that many things came easily to me. I would 'hear' music and compose. It was as though an unseen guide would tell me how to solve many problems. Not everything was perfectly easy, of course, but it was like there was something there to move my thoughts, my hands and energy into place when it was needed. I've heard some others speak or write about that, but these are the things that are not quite explicable in this world.

It begs again the question, what is this unseen, unknown connection? Why was it here to assist me, or was I 'gifted' with a connection to it? The 'unknown' guide was like a grand consciousness that would sometimes give me hints along the way. For example, I had a horrible vision of a bridge collapsing due to an earthquake. Thirty days later, there was the same bridge from the earthquake in California in the late eighties. Sometimes, I'd feel the need to phone or visit someone and that person was indeed needy, or at a time of passing. Another time, I painted an outlandish modern styled painting. It was painted in the late eighties. Eerily, it had the picture of an airplane flying into two towers in a setting that seemed like NYC, but the ground below became a sink hole and the earth was swallowing masses of material pleasures with it. Even I'd forgotten the subject matter until after...

There are many records of people around the world with small coincidences (or larger ones), or psychics and the search for the connection to the unknown, God, Allah, Buddha, enlightenment, nirvana, the afterlife---- There are many people more sensitive and unable to function in this physical world. There are those who deliberately choose to ignore the unknown. However so, we are all interlinked in an amazing discovery life pattern that weaves all of our energies into a complex larger unit of life. Some can visualize this during meditation. Indigenous and mystics have called this a series of light tunnels, connections or web--- each linking every unit of life together into a synchronized universe for better or worse. Death and life, negative and positive, balance within this form to continue the momentum of life.

It seems then there is a universal consciousness, as some would say that would direct such. In this vast measure of things, we can only imagine the microcosm of a unit that each of us are. Yet, how vital, as if all of those connections would be suddenly interrupted, if we were to 'disconnect' from the giant web of energy bonds.

So again, in this perspective, what are we in the scheme of things? To which I can only assume-
to each his/her own destiny; to each, his/her own discovery.

the 'chi' factor

In studying 'chi' energy recently-- (or call it prahna, soul, etc.), the thought occured how rapidly we feel drained of personal chi in this world. The need to recoup our strength is constant-- the rush of losing time is constant-- the feeling of 'lostness' is constant. When our chi is healthy- we are intertwined with the universe, at one with the rhythm it offers and the cycles of nature-- and it is easy to feel contentment.

Taking the observation further-- it seems the entire 'new western' society is set up to drain our chi. Centuries past, humans created all things necessary as though it were a special work of art, as quality meant long term use, pride, respect and, in those times-- efficiency. The time to gather materials and recreate a bow and re-tool arrows would be enormous and they might miss their opportunity to hunt for food or protect themselves during attack. A good bow and good arrows, built to last, meant survival. A well made piece of clothing or jewelry, showed admirable skills and display of such God gifted talent often received respect from others. And such talent would often be a reminder of the generosity of the Great Spirit and the Universe-- to bestow upon us the tools and the muses of creativity.

However, then came the new rules of economics. Enforce capitalism by laws of supply and demand. The most successful companies also learned to market a supposed 'demand' to a populous who did not even require the goods they produced. Before long, comparative envy became another tool in the evolving layers of the 'new rules of business engagement'. And then, a marvelous theory called 'mass production'.

In mass production, a single creator (or small creative team) -- would focus all their chi into a project and design. Every detail would be pre-conceptualized into the theory, then the best points of the theory, created into a real design. But, that prototype would suddenly have to be made into large replications, to 'supply' the 'created demand' for that item. Interestingly, to 'capitalize' on the extended potential income, competing companies, even in other countries, would stamp out 'knock-offs' of the original design to attempt to fulfill more of the 'created demand'.

With each step of urgency-- the originally intended 'chi' becomes diminished into the ever growing pyramid that re-distributes the delicate weave of the chi branches into more and more sub-chains. Like a single drop of red dye turning a cup of water red, then pouring the cup into a pitcher, then pouring that into a lake, and so on. Eventually, the red dye that might represent the original chi is so diminished, there is no trace of the life giving force at the point of origin.

Then as the mass produced items are purchased, one might recognize how much weaker and less sturdy each generation of production becomes. The company, in order to become more efficient, may even order 'stream-lining' cuts to cost of production each quarter or year-- eventually, further reducing any initial chi. Quality and pride suffers--- and at the end, there is no respect or life left in the product. The consumers who purchase them might find a fickle moment of joy in owning the item, then toss it the month as much in the behavior of the convenience store society we have become. And the employees who produce the item see more of it in the garbage, and feel more pride and more chi drained from their system as the realization of producing eventual garbage becomes a reality.

The most dangerous underlying factor is, with each low cost produced fanciful item we purchase and toss, we must devise a means of making up for it's lack of chi by losing more of our own chi. We will need more time to find a replacement-- more earnings and money to pay for its replacement -- less joy (draining of chi) after gaining the 'trash' and having to clean up -- and even give up more chi as we must spend time to properly dispose of the 'garbage'. Environmentally, we must rob the earth of resources and elements and its chi to make further replacements and then we are robbed of even more time so more chi is lost. We become the hamsters in the wheel-- trapped by the ever diminishing returns of power failure in a system that continues to break down with the multiple weak links due to lack of chi to support life in the system.

In the end, the earth is robbed, the air and water become polluted, we become ill and stressed and all of the efficiencies of mass production and mass economy become the ever enlarging black hole with no exchange of chi returned to us. The temporary spurts of energy felt become a disappointing facade that only lures to embrace the last of our chi from us.

Perhaps then, the old crafters and Amish farmers that spend the extra hours whittling with a small blade, or tilling soil with a stubborn mule --- but with inventions and crafts that last decades without fail, or bountiful harvests in unforgiving conditions---- do indeed have a secret to share. Perhaps their silent exchange of chi gives respected life to the impossible, only to mock the convenience store lifestyles with an assured efficient lifestyle of simplicity with things that never fail and are always dependable?

a true center 'of and from' gravity

When there was a time with too much unknowns, human placed a grand amount of trust into a world deemed mysterious and ruled by supernatural beings that influenced our very core of existence.

In our current world, with so much 'explained' through science, we often wonder if there is even a mystery left to be had. Yet, there is a fundamental basis of core religions subscribed to by most of the advanced and civilized cultures of the world. The sense of oneness that increasingly develops from the studies of the differences of the religions, is that there is a core need for a sense of universal knowing, a universal security and a bonding force with the last of the mysteries, and a human need to feel a belonging in a world that does not see clear to explain our purpose and destiny. It is not for the need to find the ethical divide, nor is it the need to claim a singularity of force, or to satisfy our need to justify our actions.

In the ensuing confusion, some choose to not believe in a universal force or deity. Others choose to not believe until it is proven to them. There can be even more, who choose there is a non-existence for "such silly notions". And then, there are the ones who believe, who impose and who uphold their deity as the supreme sole being and themselves as the carriers of justice. Thus, politics and egocentric opinions enter the ring of spiritual argument and sway pendulums continually in directions skewing each of us away from our center of gravity, claiming we've evolved from our primal cores. This is where it becomes confusing-- as I seem to recall everyone from teachers to clergy telling me balance with an axis of center of gravity is necessary for our sanity.

Once, someone told me our intuition is never confused, so if our instincts and emotions feel confused, it is a sign of a negative force removing us from our true self-nature. So confusion is also a sign and a gateway-- for us to being our seeking, to claim our place and earn our self-awareness. Our curiosity and our seeking, and our creativity-- is what defines our differentiation from our primal core. We can choose to evolve from our primal selves, through spiritual, mental and physical evolution. It is our destiny to merge our universal spiritual link to the raw primal physical one within our most conscious selves - which insinuates a "balance". So how can I assume I am fulfilling my own evolutionary destiny if my vision becomes skewed? How do I remain on my own paths?

It is then I choose to block away the reality as I know it, entering the mystifying world deep in my psyche that sleeps. I deny not all the gifts of learning and experiencing all of the beautiful religions and cultures around the world-- the glory of Christ, the beauty of Allah and the peacefulness of Buddha, and more. I accept all of these things, I embrace them. I walk into them. I move to the world before their existence. I face my primal core-- the animal nature we all have inside. I choose to feel the state of being before there was judgement, with the rawness and purity of knowing only life and existence, the cycles of birth and death, regeneration and destruction. A peaceful swaying of rhythmic cycle, like the ocean tide rising and receding --- like the supernovas that stretch and retract in phases---- like a slow and smooth, gentle heartbeat. It's a state of knowing a permanence and a powerful connectivity that exists with no sense of denial or possessions and no knowing of existence or non-existence. It is a place where self-love of all that we are, the harsh primal core that can be angry, fearful, naive, loving, joyful, glorious and innocent all at once--- animal-like or pure and angelic-- it is the piece of the universal spirit that lives within us---

it is sometimes called our "God" center-- the one Buddha, Allah, Jesus (Christ), perhaps found---

in their own balance--

by loving and accepting their responsibility to their total self--- without any denials or regrets, within their center of gravity, merged with their central self away from physical gravity, but also merged with all of existence, all at once.

what a peaceful place it is, and what a synchronized symbiosis it would be--- if...

being grateful

A surprise box of gifts awaited me today at a post office box. In it were special treasures with special histories and applied meanings, each bearing a flow of pure heartfelt energy. In disbelief and speechless shock, I carefully open and feel each one with such a deep gratefulness and awe, I am uncertain as to how to express this in return. The extreme care of each ribbon and package was as evident as the detailed compositions on various stationary.

It was not the gifts themselves that touched me most. It was the amazing dedication and loving care, the preparation, the thought. The beauty of the energy could be felt, seen, smelled, touched --- making each opening a savored moment to treasure in an everlasting unique memory. These fond minutes become imprinted as genuine human relations that only humans have the capability of giving, sharing and experiencing with each other. It is the sum of these moments that give us a reality check from the ‘wired and wireless’ world of internet, television, mobile phones, GPS, LANs, satellite radios, etc. It is these moments that remind us to continue to have faith and trust in each other and in humanity.

This truth is one to be nurtured. It is our duty and our right --- our inheritance in order to preserve our future. We are not so far removed from our inner selves and the recent human pasts to have forgotten what we can truly offer, and how we can touch each other. It is not too late to remember how to behave like an individual positive, creative and loving human, no matter the robotic and personal assistants hired, for only then can we communicate and learn about our true nature. Some may even find their souls again---
And learn just how connected to the universe we always can choose to be if we listen...

If only one by one at a time--- if only each person chooses to continue to create these moments…. maybe the overflow of gratefulness with open heart just might bridge gaps and heal wounds with new bonds across the barriers of negative suspicions and reactions. If only, we would return to the humanity we could, should be, celebrating and embracing, rather than worry about the material values and lack of time. If only we had the courage to be in this place all the time, instead of part of the time. If only---

something is missing in humanity...

Have you ever felt like an alien in your own group? An interesting conversation about the perception of the idea 'us and them' began this morning. It started quite simply in morning conversation, but expanded rapidly into a realization of how very much each person identifies with a degree of isolation and separation in some way. It's odd how we choose the idea of segregation because of inner issues within ourselves and the idea of 'closing off' our secrets. Many times, we excuse this isolation with either the idea that because we are 'superiorly different' or because of the secret that we are scared and ashamed of letting something out about ourselves. In any case, this divide creates more suspicions and lack of communication, doesn't it? Then, in many cases, once communications start-- we find out there is not that much for us to hide from others after all. Very strange how we tend to think about ourselves. We sometimes seem to forget our uniqueness is linked by our humanness.

"we do not inherit the land from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children"

This quote appears in a calendar sponsored by the National Wildlife Federation this month. It is a Native American Proverb. How intensely this conveys the wisdom of people who chose to live in harmony with the majesty of their environment, instead of aggressively digging tunnels and hoarding the things that would bring us momentary pleasure. If truly we were to borrow things of the earth from our children, I wonder how we might create the oil, natural gas and water that we have drilled and used. I wonder if there will be the delicate balance of gases in the atmosphere so they may breathe. I wonder if they will see the flowers bloom every spring and the magic of tasting the first freshly hand-picked fruits at harvest on an orchard.

Maybe it's time to engage the act of sharing and return, instead of borrow. As we borrow our own times here on earth, we must acknowledge our footprints write the pages to our legacies as our actions carve the roads to tomorrow.

the 'art' or 'argument' in perception, as physics meets philosophy

I’ve become friends with a physicist. His mind is brilliant beyond ordinary reason, and his accomplishments are extraordinary, in athletics, special government awards, scholastics and in multiple specialized fields from mechanics through to nuclear sciences. He understands and teaches advanced wave theory and calculates algorithms for assessing all probable cause and effect relationships in acoustical and nuclear physics, as well as aerospacial movement of objects or particles and design of such models. He's lived well and nearly died multiple times, on the cusp of taunting his own gift of existence.

Surprisingly, doesn’t believe in an existence of a divine, nor does he believe infinity is truly possible --- he believes all things are finite, otherwise, he is unable to calculate or prove it’s relative existence. His truth and beauty only lies in the proof of the equation and absolutes, including predictable control of the outcomes, eventually mastering the control.

OUCH. That threw me for a loop.

My perspective (from shamanic thoughts influences) is in the inter-relationship of all matter and ‘anti-matter’ as a symbiosis (in equilibrium status) to perpetuate existence in kinetic energy state equals life. That is, through hierarchy of energy states that exist as in the examples of atomic structure, this ‘hidden’ desire of existence (of a divine nature) requires evolutionary state and transformation which creates and ascertains that infinity then is possible (and required) due to the fact that the unseen dimensional universe is evolving as much as in the examples of our physical evolutions, and that, our world’s evolutionary status is a foundational energy exchange that ‘feeds’ the grander hierarchy of the universe itself--- so the divine is within and without us, at all times, in a symbiotic exchange….. BUT that we, in our limited physical capabilities to perceive this in physical sensory form--- are us unable to comprehend the inter-dependant relationship of true string theory (which is flawed for its linear propositions) or ‘butterfly effects’ – which is why Occams Razor was postulated into quantum theory in the first place…

That threw him for a loop.

We are at an “argumentative’ impasse due to opposing points of perception. I consider this a gift--- as each one of us has the unique ability to gift the universe with our personal experience. He sees beauty in life like we all do, but he chooses to see death as a finite that is separate from life and an ultimate end. I choose to see death as a transformation that is a necessary existence for the cycle of life, continuity, of sorts.

He seems to appreciate the ‘gift’ of opposing views as well. But damned if I didn’t have to “artfully” earn the position of respect for my point of view in the argument. However, he is learning that empathetic communication is the key for non-escalating and non- isolating interpersonal skills.

What a beautiful world it could be if we would choose to understand and learn empathetic communications tempered with acceptance, respect, knowledge, and the search for truth.

Btw--- LOL--- he is learning this because he accepted that I ‘won’ one point---- if applying the assumption that infinity in dimensional theory were true because of our inability to perceive beyond our human physical structure--- then one has to assume that every possible outcome of right or wrong in truth has to all be true because mathematically, in an infinite universe, all outcomes eventually equate to the value of true. Therefore, there is no plausible reason to create a biased argument in the first place because everyone’s opinions or perceptions must be assumed as someone’s truth. Double up the LOL, considering that I was taking the position of NOT trying to win any sides, just sharing personal perspective.



NOVEMBER 8, 2008

keepers of this reality

What a strange journey we travel when embarking on the path of life. It leads us to pitfalls and then carries us to celebrations, sometimes, even awarding us with mysteries that might be our claim for accolade. The turmoils encountered assign us with responsibilities that we never seem to be prepared for, yet manage; the destinies are always one of surprise in arrival, no matter the stages of planning or not.

I wonder then, how is the magnificence of the universe to be interpreted to us, in our egocentric state of being? We are so simply the spawn of vast state of quantum energy units formed into atoms and molecules---- we are merely, part of the greater collective. But our infancy of progression blinds us to our fate, as we choose to interpret this connectedness into a divide, and celebrate the dichotomy only with burdens of political and monetary desires. Where do we so choose to release the capacity of our consciousness? When?

Who are we to question the foundations of traditions laid before us in forms of organizations and church fathers? Who are we to question the truth told us by written works of prophets? Who are we to think we are physical representative sparks of the divine?

These questions I do not know the answers to, yet sometimes I feel them. It is the way of the existing modern churches, perhaps, to regard such as blasphemy. But undeniably, we assume the role of questioning when internal perspectives become forced upon us at crossroads during times of turmoil.

It is the time of the prophets they say- but I am convinced, we are, equipped and called upon to be – the keepers of this reality—if we choose…