life is not based on singularity or simple AI based on statistics

Life is not based on singularity or isolation. Life is based on being a part of a greater ecosystem that has a number of mechanisms that intertwine whether it be the tiniest fungal cells or even smaller particles and quarks, to the largest of supernovas. Each carries energies and energy signatures that must work together in order to be continuous. In fact our own bodies can not survive with trillions of micro organisms that work with us, that chooses to live within us. But those micro organisms also must communicate with the greater ecosystems around us in order to keep us healthy. So how do we assume that nutrition and health is based on simple macro nutrients ckama simple statistics of who is healthiest or who is not? How do we define who is healthy? What is healthy merely means that's It is us who are being kept alive more so by the entire environment around us communicating with micro organisms that wish to live so badly that they drive out all illness. So they signal to us when to change what we eat, when to sleep, when we need to do other thinks, when we have feelings of needing to go somewhere. But yet today we rely on computers and artificial intelligence that rely on large swaths of data and statistical information. So are these computers and the men behind it making us a part of their machine and their design and taking us away from nature or, have we become so disconnected we have lost our ability to communicate with the nature within us and choose to take the single ingredients or simple pills on a daily basis, assuming that our "nature" can exist without fluidity of response to weather, stress factors, traveling to new environments without adjusting, sudden pollutants? Even animals in the wild adjust their food to seasons and stress to remain healthier. And plants and microorganisms change their chemical bioactivity and have secondary compounds when change occurs. So how do we assume our individual response, nutrition, sleep, exercise, tolerance, guts, brains, can live on the same recommended medicines, vitamins, herbs, foods, drinks, sunlight, sleep, noise, work, stress,water?

Life is fluid. So must our response to our body and all it's symbiotic inhabitants and what it's immediate desires or needs are to survive. And let it tell us what environment we should be in, and what the environment needs of us, so we can continue the cycle of life and protect the ecosystem we are merely a small part of.

Meditation Exercise IV

(originally meant to publish in 2009 as part 4 to the extended meditation series)

Dancing to the first consciousness…. 

 Focus on the thought of eternal spring--- the first green sprouts poking through the soil, the first buds about to bloom, the first flowers and the first nests with hatchlings joyfully screaming out at the taste of their first meal from their mother… Think about the fresh smell of dirt after a long winter’s snow has melted and the first rains have come. Inhale the scent of the death of the leaves and cold being washed away by the first warm spring sun and rain. Feel the soft light on a chilly morning of spring that promises to bring a warm breeze and warm day by noon… Think about touching a newborn spring puppy’s soft fur, velvety, warm, gentle, full of new life… Hear the birds bellowing out the first songs of spring---- singing loudly as if to taste the fresh air and playfully competing to be the first, the loudest… to find their mate… embrace these thoughts of freshness, of newness… and slow your breathing down, as if to enter a deep sleep…forget everything of this world... leave it behind… then enter yourself… enter your womb, warm and safe, gentle and soothing…… enter your spirit light body and consciousness connected to the universe… focus only on being with the connection of your light and the light at the edge of the universe. Hear the silence and feel the glow and warmth of the light… let it tingle and energize you… and vibrate…. until the first tones begin… feel yourself within the mysterious and amazing sounds… moving with the pitches and becoming the sounds… formless, with light --- lose yourself within the light and the sounds---- become one with it… brilliant colors changing, shifting, pitches blending, flowing, rhythmic, floating--- timeless, nothing and everything, existing and not existing…being… pure… complete… -- only formless energy… one with the movement, the sounds and light… travel with this, without time…. glide and fly…. completely free… no end…. weightless, no end, no beginning…. dancing, blissful… full… just floating…. until in the distance--- far away from the light—in the distant darkness of the universe… something round, moving….spinning… … sail toward it… it has an unusual surface…. peaks and valleys, colors… and something white but murky floating around it… move closer to it—and see it is not still… there is more movement on the surface…. but it moves as one, with its own different rhythm…. different from the light and the tones…. different from the darkness in the universe… sometimes, the movements are gentle— sometimes… it is fierce and fast… so very different, almost angry--- but always moving… with purpose…sharing, needing… swim through the white murky patterns and feel energy rushing to extend to the feel of the movement and life on the surface… and notice on closer exploration there are separate individual forms moving, in less unison… become curious…. feel compelled to explore some of the moving things with form and colors…. hear the foreign sounds of these forms… feel the rush of energy sparking formless light and see how they move with a different life… separate but within the universe…. merge with one of them…. feel the energies colliding and shocking---- feel the sensations so unfamiliar from the light--- strange, dizzying, lost, beautiful, tickling… tingling… as sense of taste, touch, primitive sounds…. feel the shock and the grace----- hold on to the waves of blindness and light as you suddenly feel pain for the first time… and a strange sense --- very passionate--- with a force and energy--- a fury--- a newness--- a strangeness--- an emptiness and a sadness—then, a rage ---- an energy of fire --- and you become confused… uncertain… but exhilarated--- at this newness… bound by form… and you are suddenly bound… as you try to free yourself— the arms move--- the fingers stretch outward---the legs move--- the feet kicks.. you are within the body— you are a new consciousness… you are one with the body… as a new wave of sensation, an anxiousness—a fear – comes upon you--- a memory intervenes… the light… the loving energy of the light--- the warmth and how the light led your new found curiosity to this place--- this body… and see the colors and feel the touch of the surface through the body---- feel the awakening… and the gift.. feel the hands and fingers move to your will for the first time… feel form and structure for the first time… feel the boundaries of the body--- hear the heartbeat and the skin rubbing together… feel the formless air coming through the nostrils and hear the sound of breathing… hear your heartbeat--- your own rhythm… feel a new awareness… feel the sun on the skin for the first time… feel movement of the legs before moving in space… feel the wind breeze through the hair and across the body. Feel chilled for the first time… hear the sounds pierce your body and spirit---- hear the stomach rumble for the first time… be in amazement as you move the tongue and taste your teeth and the insides of your mouth… salivate to the craving of feeding your hunger… and experiencing newness… as the energy explodes within--- as your widened vision searches for new things to touch and feel--- breathe in the smells of freshness--- the new soil, the leaves--- the mist. Smell the stench of the swamps as the mist rises in the morning sun… hear the sounds of creatures fighting and hunting in the distance… embrace the activity, the life--- enjoy the movement as newborn jaguar-like cubs play and attempt to growl… see the birds flying in the distance… smell the flowers in a meadow near-by ---- feel the pulse of the earth beneath your feet… the vibrations of life begun… feel amazed by the gift of this experience… the joy--- the new freedom to move within your boundaries --- to experience being in one consciousness… in one form… to experience newness and a new beginning… feel this experience with the depths of your heart, spirit and senses… breathe it in. 

 When called to return ---- breathe your life in---- feel the rush of life and energy and light lead your connection back to this time --- to this world… see the history unravel and lead you to this new modern world again… in this form… feel your clothes covering your body comfortably--- feel the floor and seat beneath you vibrating with the force of life from the earth… as it spins through the solar system and the universe… feel the gift of this time, this experience… with the connection from the light in tact… how your experiences are exchanged through to the light… how the energy exchange grows… how unique you are… breathe in the sun, feel the lightness of your being…the body awakening… the stretch of the muscles infusing with breath and light… with the sharp senses as with the first being and first conscious awakening--- feeling every touch, hearing every sound, smelling every smell, tasting every food…seeing with clarity… depth of spirit… ready for the adventure… and awaiting your instructions from the universe… open your eyes and become…

And the Atlanta massacre of 6 women could have been prevented if it weren't marginalized as if like smaller events in the past...

 6 women died because of a man who had a stereotype prejudice and a gun yet his views are being marginalized by different officials and press to only a sex fetish while over 500 (reported only) attacks on Asian Americans occurred in the last 2 months. And not to take away from the horrible murders, I am sharing what it means to look like a Asian while living in and being raised in the USA as an example of why the organizations are angry and why they are speaking up.

The attacks of mild to severe are occurring to Asians not just at this level, but at all levels. The stigma placed on all women are bad enough and we see too many stereotypes of various degrees for women from all cultures, with some good all the way to severely dangerous. Hollywood has never helped that. The sexual and subservience stereotype used on Northern Asian and pacific islander women (Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Cambodian, Taiwanese, Thai, Filipino and any of the "Chinese appearances mostly) are very huge, and much of the time I have kept my mouth shut, but do not ever assume I have not experienced the stereotypes, aggression, harassment, hatred, and direct attacks, grabbing, or innuendos in my lifetime. I have not dwelt on them and started to speak up on this topic only in recent years with many people, including close friends telling me initially I was wrong and exaggerating what was happening across the country, even suggesting I was being paranoid a few years ago and to seek mental help for my observations of the uptick last year. I am aware enough to know they did not mean it and they do not have the perception as non-Asians, but I am saying still this has been escalating sharply in the last 5 yrs again. The deliberate lack of equality, lack of hires (unless taking underpaid positions), the assumptions of what type of mindset, where we are from (I am Canadian by birth and raised here with no firm Asian cultural ties except for some very bare customs), MUST STOP. I was "accepted" more by the Caucasian cultures in schools and younger years because I allowed them to make racist jokes in front of me (note, I do take blame in not realizing I enabled some or this culture unwittingly) and I partied with them as my Canadian and US upbringing taught me, not like an Asian born of that period. But I was still cattle herded into certain behaviors by prejudiced teachers into specific STEM paths along with tiger parents and I still got beaten up in grade school too often while being called gook and then I was often also the one punished as the only Asian kid in the fight defending myself and told if I didn't fight back it would not have been a fight therefore I was the instigator (note, this would be after kids told them I was hit or pushed onto the floor) unless I learned to cry in front of all of them (later in grade school I did start to cry and act weaker instead of fight back because it was the only way to then not get beaten and punished again at home for getting into trouble.) Yet teachers still placed other prejudiced labels and attempted racial bias "training" on me. The best example, I was told by 3 different English teachers while in middle and early high school ENGLISH classes that I would automatically be awarded a C or maybe B on the course PRIOR TO ANY TESTS AND REGARDLESS OF ASSIGNMENTS ...because "everyone knows Asians cannot grasp English". Never mind I was simultaneously semi fluent in German and some French as well as Korean and English at that time with A's in Latin class. Those specific teachers never bothered to read my assignments or tests and gave me B- IF THEY HAD TOO. IF i corrected or reported their errors, I was deliberately given separate questions and assignments I could not accomplish or had no knowledge of, to ensure I would get a few C-'s of D+'s for the purposes of justifying my lower grade, which then my tiger parents would punish me for. Then never mind the number of traffic stops I witnessed of adult Asians while growing up... because, don't you know all Asians are bad drivers? In fact it was an easy quota meet or frame job in place of a friend who sped by in a speed trap area... because, y'all know Asians are demure and will pay or take the rap to avoid jail.

That was how many Asians grew up in the USA a couple decades ago. These are mild examples of only a few stories from pre-mid 90s and 2000s. It got better for a while after that... not perfect, but better. And yes, I understand most of us had it better than many Hispanics, middle easterners and African Americans I befriended over my life, AND, those of us who learned how to get rid of and speak without accents fared much better than those with. Plus one stereotype was in our favor... we were all supposed to be some kind of math or science genius and in classical music. Not in anything else, just those. So I am not discounting we had some fortunes for some scholarships or grants.

But we were never really part of the "in crowd" in most cases then. I still get looked at strangely and strangers wonder if I will have an accent when I begin speaking. And in the last 5 yrs, I have been seeing faces and looks again I have not seen since the 70a and 80s from people who make sure to over charge me, to make me feel threatened, or to make sure I am aware that I do not look like the others in the room. And it has risen even higher since the comment of "kung flu" or "Chinese flu". And I am not alone but am still luckier the majority of Asian women who are abused at home and in work places that make them feel like Indentured servants every minute of the day and now this...

So again....

6 women died because of a man who had a stereotype prejudice and a gun yet his views are being marginalized by different officials and press to only a sex fetish while over 500 (reported only) attacks on Asian Americans occurred in the last 2 months.

The reality standing in the way of Sustainability

The enduring difficulties of 2020 and the year of a virus that stopped the world gave many one sliver of a silver lining. The forced lack of human movement and daily business caused lack of the mega billions of dollars of petroleum products used daily in transportation by air, land and sea had stopped. And within weeks, there were reports of improved air quality from the lack of pollution from transportation modes. Researchers said estimated global carbon emissions dropped by 2.4 Billion Metric Tons, or, 7%, according to researchers at the Global Carbon Project in December of 2020. Emissions from air traffic was down 40% and from industrial complexes in some countries, a full 30%!  (source:  Global carbon emissions down by record 7% in 2020 | News | DW | 11.12.2020) All simply by humans being grounded, for their own safety, from any work or play in most countries. 

Today's most visible voice on climate change is Greta Thunberg. As a poised young adult now, she has repeatedly stated the obvious of how humans are destroying the planet to a completely unsustainable end and how the world is not doing enough to keep the critical temperature markers of the Paris Accord as advised by the top scientists in the world. But it is important to note it did not start there. 

Often looking at old films and TV commercials on You Tube, I have come across the teary eyed American Native Chief from a 1970s commercial asking the modern Americans 'please do not litter'. And since then, the many decades of Green Peace protestors placing their lives at risk in front of large whaling ships, arguing with poachers who have bloodied baby seals hanging off their backs, or pictures of people who have died trying to save countless other endangered species. Then there were smog reports, increasing instances of water pollution like in Flint, MI, unanswered rising cases of childhood asthma, bees disappearing, and entire countries suffering from endless drought and famine. With each passing decade of expanding global video communications, there has been someone to voice concerns of the changes in natural habitats and climates from local indigenous people to farmers, to scientists like Jane Goodall, and leaders of nations. And the amount donated to the cause to reduce any act interrupting sustainability worldwide has significantly increased. There have been some small changes, sure, as in, less numbers of certain animals killed or poached, some previously over polluted waters are now cleaner and able to be swam or fished in (eg: Potomac River and Chesapeake Bay select areas), and more wetlands preservation or general wild areas. Recycling has now become a multi-billion dollar industry, where before the 1990s, it was rare to recycle in most parts of the USA. A decade previous to recycling, the closest would be children saving soda cans and bottles to get the return change to make money, or newspapers being used as insulation in housing or for wrapping delicate porcelain before bubble wrap (plastic!) was common. 

But here in is the hidden layers and wall. The amount donated increased, but the distance of many humans to time spend in real, unpolished and trimmed nature, decreased. Humans in civilized nations were conned into believing that a manicured lawn and landscaped picturesque yard without bothersome nuisances like animals and animal dung -- plus the white picket fence and the designer car and showcase housing --- was the ideal like. And to achieve this, work, education by travel, more work, attaining money or value, was the paramount vision. The Hollywood picture of the rich or famous, with extravagance, was sold to the masses all over the world. No one discussed that to achieve this, one had to spend less time in nature, less time preparing foods from scratch, and spend more on 'convenience' items to save time. The marketing and sales people had done their jobs, they had sold the fantasy of glamour, and the absolute need to desire a piece of the glamour, to everyone ambitious enough to dream of the 'ideal' life they were sold. The sad part, this 'ideal' image was one born out of the suits of D.C. and the skyscrapers of Manhattan or the insurers from London and the runways of Paris and Milan. The idea of being serviced, not having to touch the soil, not having to pick or peel your own vegetables and appearing to be in such a sanitary and spotlessly clean picture of health and wealth, riding in the best of cars, first class and a giant private abode befitting royalty. Children from Cusco to New Delhi, Omsk to Tehran who had any television exposure, were shown these pictures as the ones of ultimate wealth and power and influence, whether it was designated as evil or blessed. But none were ever shown the price, not even those born into the lap of the luxurious lives. 

What do I mean by this? Interestingly, all of the anti-sustainability is first marked by the need for capitalism to define success by 'winning' the most amount of dollars from the most customers at preferably, premium pricing. So marketing is designed to create 'habits' to create addicts out of anyone, so an item will be sold over and over. Before, or about the 1960s, personally, I do feel the throw away pieces of items bought were more limited, and quality and durability was more valued. It seemed families had heirloom furniture and pieces bought for newly married couples were meant to last -- even if from a Sears & Roebuck catalogue. It seemed a prideful thing-- to have items that were 'living' with the family for years. However, after Americans grew accustomed to increasing wealth states and especially after the advent of pop culture that included McDonald's and carefree summer hitch hiking days, it seemed the companies learned something interesting. That carefree attitude did not have means for people to carry around a lot of valuables or material goods that were burdensome like in pioneer days. It meant things needed to be disposable and portable. Clothes had to be made to not be so costly as to be a great loss and food had to be served in items that could be quickly disposed of, to keep the 'pristine clean' picture in tact. And this meant customers would be buying and using and throwing away again and again, meaning more production and more dollars. And, if entire generations could be sold on this idea.... 

The problem is that as Americans and western culture expanded into a motility and dual parent income culture with less desires to do the lowly chores of cleaning, farming, harvesting, tending to animals, etc, so also did entire generations become removed of the idea of the cycles of nature and how physical things are both permanent and impermanent but nature finds a way to give life to things over and over. Instead, we now have millions of 'advanced' civilization people for over 2 generations, who are accustomed to less menial labor and less time to care for themselves, let alone understand the impact of using single use plastics, food waste, water waste or their contribution to air pollution. (and I do not count myself a saint, I have broken nature's creed many times myself in the need of making an income and having to grab a quick lunch through a drive through = air pollution, waste, junk food, plastics, all in one!) 

I recently spent time with an octogenarian, who was once raised half farm, and of course, during multiple wars, where she had once learned the values of conservation of items because there were rations and scarce supplies. But when cooking with her, simple things, like asparagus--- where I prefer to only cut about 1/2" to 1" or the most dry/weedy ends off, she insisted to do like her mother, cut off at the nearest joint, which eliminated over 2 to 3" per each stalk. In each break I am thinking to myself, if we were on a farm with chickens and pigs, this is great- they would get the scraps and the life cycle would be in continuous flow by feeding those tips. But this night, those tips were sent down a garbage disposal in the sink -- forever wasted. Then she showed me her pride and morning joy of the kitchen-- a Keurig machine. She loves the chai tea in the cups. I have also had a Keurig for over a decade, but, when they made the 'make your own' coffee filter/screen inserts almost a decade ago, I quickly purchased to make my own after discovering the plastics of the Keurig cups are not recyclable. In fact, in 2019, Green Mountain company (Keurig manufacturer), attempted to make recycle Keurig cups but not so successfully, because there still issues. At one point, the original cups were estimated to fill at least landfills wrapping world over at least 10Xs just from Americans using those (and yes, I am guilty of that then also). But only about 75% of the new pods are convertible to compost-- and ONLY if you collect and return enough to the address on the box through their partnerships, in order to recycle those cups. (The curious, environmental case of the Keurig K-Cups (or what to do with them) – San Gabriel Valley Tribune (sgvtribune.com)) 

Getting back to my octogenarian friend- well, she got used to the luxury of the Keurig. So when mentioning the reusable screen-- oh no, that is too much trouble. Would she collect the pods after use? Oh no, that is too much trouble. Could I cut the asparagus ends please?? Oh no- she wanted to do it just like her mother.  If there was a vegetable in the salad she didn't like, if I didn't eat it, it would be thrown out.  And if anything couldn't be frozen, well, if it wasn't eaten, it was thrown out. Maybe some old bread went to squirrels, but most neighborhoods do not allow feeding wildlife- so the answer? Thrown out. (But to her credit, she works a lot with feeding homeless and helping others, these are just unconscious habits of hers). 

She, like many I know, often know they might have a harmful habit, and brush it off as "well I am only one person so what harm is it if I do it? I donate to plenty of causes and don't use a lot of anything else and conserve a lot".  

Here is the problem. The big money-making marketing companies of wall-street and international investment firms do not invest in products that only sell a few here and there. They only invest in products that sell by the millions per month, if possible. And each person that says I am only one who buys these very harmful items like individual bottles of water and individual snack packs (yes, of course I also cannot escape having to buy single serve especially in covid era) - is helping to unload millions of units of each of these items. And with each item, millions of units of convenient 'packaging' material that has plastic, resin layers, paper layers and maybe even metal layers, with an extreme nice looking bright marketing advertisement label. And each single item has added to millions in carbon units, landfills, displacement of natural resources used to make those materials, severely harmful chemical toxins released into the air to make those items and unknown damages for years to come to the planet. 

But if the octogenarian whose earlier years never included the Keurig or a garbage disposal cannot live without, how does anyone expect younger generations, who never knew there was a world without Mr. Coffee and Keurig machines, Starbucks and McDonalds, or single serve 'everything', to adapt to the needs of an aging planet? They are also simultaneously being told to invest into funds that invest into the single serve and convenience manufacturers to make money for their own futures!!

Meanwhile, the planet desperately wonders why humans, who understands so much of the science of needing minerals and carbon for our structures to be strong and healthy, keep robbing Her of Her minerals and carbon, so she cannot feed her plants and swell her clean waters like she once could. She doesn't know what the stock market or marketing and ads are. She only knows life and death and the cycles of life and death. She knows the basic foundations of physical elements can slowly over time, be reformed and brought back into new life, not to be pressed, chemically enhanced and restructured to make a higher profit margin. Her rhythm does not match the one of the airports and stock market rush hours; hers will be only of severe dry seasons, severe rainy seasons, days with light and days without. 

May we hope Her message is strong enough to influence the next few decades of humans, so we can one day find a common rhythm that will synchronize human desires with natural needs. 

 

An opinion written in comments section in reply to a news article regarding gender behavioral differences and women have less 'braggadocio' than men or being perceived weaker throughout history:

Opinion: due to expectations of most civilizations (not all) that women were caretakers of children and the agriculture/herbal tenders while the male physical strength was utilized for hunting larger game and war, it occurs to me that men had to develop a separate social culture and interpersonal relations communication that would emphasize the need to be 'confident', encourage 'boasting' (of the "big" catch) to enforce the perception (by others) of great strength. This 'strength' eventually became equated, physically or mentally as societal needs and roles changed. Women, on the other hand, required the passivity roles as primary child tenders, as well as for tending to the herbal/medicinal/agricultural needs within the homes. The social structure of those 'left behind' during war or long hunts (including seafaring) --- had to change. For example, becoming fixed in an agricultural location, the fears of unity during natural disaster would be addressed. Without brute physical strength, the teamwork development through encouraging strength amongst the crowd (rather than boasting of one's own, per se) needed to be developed (especially as child tenders). The constant worry of loss of the partner would bond in a much more humble and passive manner, as well as the obvious status of the lack of physical strength vs. that partner--- so the subjects of discussion would have to be about what the 'other' is capable of, rather than what 'she' can do personally. The results of organized religion over the last few millennia only emphasized these traits, eventually even placing the 'male' figure as the dominant in nearly all 'modern' faiths.

In my opinion, these are a few factors that eventually resulted in evolved traits over the last 8000 yrs or so, that bled in social perceptions. Thus, women would score higher on emotional intelligence, and women would be less likely to inflate their own abilities, while men were encouraged to inflate their abilities to 'find their rank' in societal positions. What I find interesting about he recent feminist movements of the last century is the publicity allowed for larger organized voices. However, in history, there was always the 'strong'  and intelligent woman figure, in various queens, religious icons, warns (Matilda of Tuscany, Boadicea, Joan of Arc, etc.). In niche societies that are not as influenced by modern religion, the defined strong female may also be recognized for high intelligence (above others) and some still have reputations for being more cunning hunters than their male counterparts!

*Originally written 2003*

THE DIVINITY IN ARTISTIC CREATION

We live in a time of chaos and computers, globalized economies and currency numbers. The jaded cycles of 9 to 5 (ie: actually 8:30-9p or more, as the 70+ hr week is the norm for many today), corporate climbers drive --we seat ourselves in the expectations of the children's soccer teams and ivy league admissions, the BMW x2 and then, being politically correct and conscientiously green while perfecting ourselves with organics, yoga meditation and fitness routines and meeting requirements for social engagements (church, community or business and friends.) We have the part of the machine that we must fulfill when we play our roles -- the one that shackles and binds us within our very innermost thoughts --- our subconscious -- the center of our mind. It's a place of no rules, it's a place that connects to more than the body we are in -- it runs free, it runs wild, no boundaries, speaking before thinking, knowing before learning, laughing before crying and dancing before moving. It knows not time, not greed, not hate, not worry, not anger. It is still burning with the power of the origin, the divine, the universe-- it is still mysterious. It learns to communicate with the conscious that tries to teach it the things of this world, of food, clothing, people, of cars, of houses, of desires. It asks of the consciousness for one thing - to communicate and understand, to live and experience, grow and work from a place of this understand, a place of love and freedom. To nurture the communication and understanding, the consciousness must be free of constraints from fear, obsessions with competition and aggression, hate, anger, judgement, guilt, desperation, superiority issues, insecurities, and from any self-damnation. These are the negative emotions that work like trapdoors that open at inopportune moments to drive away the communication between the waking conscious self and the aware, but silent, unconscious self.

The unconscious self is the seat of the soul, a part of perfect beauty and absolute light. It understands what the universe relates to it --- then tries to convey that message to our waking self. From there, stunning and inconceivable ideas are born -- it is perhaps the yin (the dark night but passive feminine places from which things are born) -- and very extremely sensitive, but it is strong because it is sacred. When the message is allowed and sent, to be clearly and intentionally born into the physical world, amazing artistic creations happen with a divine touch that is beyond the conscious human's realm. To create is almost a law of nature; it is an underlying drive of life. Creation is to emulate the divine and mystery, it is to give life, it is survival, and it is a guaranteed mark of our permanence in this chaos. It needs neither audience nor approval - but does require love from the source. It simply wants to exist in the here and now after translation from the origins of the unconscious. But in the complexities of life that is human --- the conscious is not so perfect to easily receive or create from a place of unconditional love. The consciousness sometimes has been taught to fear things of 'unknown': the un-conscious, the un-done, the un-resolved, un-certainty, un-conditionality and the un-explained. So it fights fiercely to bring out fear and judgment - with anger and isolation - things that disrupt the flow of beauty and truth. Thus the struggle of yin and yang, for one to dance into the center spotlight, to fight for the lead stage presence --- begins. The battle within weakens the body and strains the mind. The consciousness is overwhelmed and the unconscious does not understand. It can be subtle or pronounced, but it is the riddle of all who are human to find the peace that would quell the raging lightning storms within. As with any war, seeds of negativity always produce casualties on all sides. And in misunderstandings and mistranslations, much is lost. But also true of conflicts, as time marches forward, so our moments are temporary and cannot last -- providing us with a final treasure of hope. It is within that hope that peace does follow - and the balance of yin and yang restored, to bring the masterpieces intended by the universe to physical fruition.

*originally written November 2016*

My apologies. It has been awhile. But it is time to speak now.

This year has been tumultuous in North America, particularly on the US side. The election has created a fire filled citizen divide like no other-- but it is on a scale of block vs. block instead of red vs. blue states. There are increasingly open statements and actions of hate dictated by racial bias, more and more misinformation on easily faked news venues and less and less facts.

Here are my view of the facts:

The new electoral college elected 'leader' is an insider of the great money republic, founded and following the religion of capitalism, based on principles of nepotism. Not just by family, but by family and business associates that are most favored, which is a small group in a few major cities, including Washington D.C.  Why do I think this?

He was born into money. He was born into a family headed by a man who believed in racial purity and preservation of bloodlines. And by race, it was a 'visual' term. He was spoilt by his family members and went to a military school in the northeastern US that was primarily Caucasian with old New England type American values. He surrounded himself with men of power, while 'gambling' his own fortunes but knowing his father would often help cover his losses if he lost. He also sought underground and celebrity power because he was fascinated by how these people became so popular and how the few would become wealthy out of the masses. He connected with people who could skirt the law or figure out how to bend rules in his favor. He announced to his former social associates that he wanted to become famous and run for president in the late 1970's and early 1980's-- well before any "Apprentice" or any famous casino headlines in Atlantic City. He also bankrupted many old craftsmen and honest workers in the later 1980's and 1990's, by filing bankruptcy on those sections of his businesses and is still claiming tax losses to this day.  All the while, he was in the press, hob-knobbing with the largest billionaires and selling a fake university scheme and putting on multiple faces as he parties with the fringes of Warhol drug & alcohol parties on some nights while dating 'appropriate' model-esque women for his off-spring one day, and making deals to force introductions to the most powerful financial and political figures in the world.

How much information and wealth would a person like this have to position himself into his dream of presidency? And as his year over year profit margins decline, how wonderful would it be for him to gain inside access to all the biggest names in the world and private emails and phones numbers, while also, being able to gain virtually anyone's private information he wished. How perfect it would be for him to promise his inner circle of associates, that their business interests and policies would be perfectly preserved or championed, if he were to be placed into such a position of power? Why, afterall, he had learned from his early associates that information for blackmail or association and party behavior is what would win the populace? Hollywood taught him that it has nothing to do with character, only the familiarity of a name by branding. It was the new way of business, to become popular while getting rich-- to promote one's own brand.

a year's hiatus and...

The past twelve months of unpredictable seasons heralded whipping turnstiles in my daily life as well. Not an excuse, I assure you, but certainly a new learning as I realize all too well the limitations of being human subscribing to the sense we have labeled as 'time'--- or rather- - the measurement we chose to use as a social guideline of day's beginning and end--

In the 365 days or so that disappeared-- the environment of life pressured me with new challenges I found myself lacking the ability to transgress into that piece of mind-- the private sector of my soul -- as I was challenged to succeed in this world of PS3's, WII's, project deadlines, happy hours, real estate tax due dates, traffic and storms, dramatic associates, health emergencies, stocks, and so on... the very insanity that makes society function. Yet this pace, this inherited ADHD requirement, left me struggling with the emptiness of not being with myself but rather feeling the pressure of remaining a shell with a cosmetic exterior. For that was the role required to succeed.  And then 12 months simply disappeared as I sat stating I would get to me, tomorrow.

I can only wonder if I felt this for a moment in this age of organized chaos, how many others feel the same? What is the new norm? Is this an additive in the water? Is this a micro pulse in the electro-magnetic fields of cellular towers?

One can only hope the awakening that gripped my consciousness enough to remind me of what was missing-- is the same voice that might remind others too, that life does not revolve around the project list, electronic gadgets and distraction spectacles designed to harness our attentions outside of ourselves...

 

insanity of relationships

In the quest of the romantic dreams bestowed upon our youth as ideologies, we often are contested with the challenges of ... reality.

Over the centuries, we demanded freedom of choice in finding partners. We rebelled from the oft historically popular ways of being matched by elders, by money-- or of course, women being traded with dowries as chattle pieces for politics, land or other wealth. Or the least desirable sons being matched with a fortuitous match guaranteeing some benefit in offspring. Or matches to guarantee certain genetic traits, whether it be for better, or worse...

It's funny how we as humans often fail to recognize the burden of receiving the gift we ask for. In many modernized societies, we do mostly have the ability to freely choose our partners. However, many of us seek partnership before we are ourselves actualized spiritually, and seek either the dependancy upon the other to gain self-confidence or assumed self-realization-- or worse, hide within the relationship and use the partner to define our own entire persona and inner self. In these days of chaos and such distractions of the fast paced, competitive world - we rarely are even given the moment to relish the time needed for our inner discovery and growth.

So how is it we can so easily proclaim to be committed and 'in-love' time and time again? I've known so many to have multiple partners or lovers or 'relationships'-- swearing upon each as their 'true love'. I've even been told to deliberately 'be with' or date many to 'discover myself'. I argue with those who told me these things as not necessarily everyone's path---

That is to say- I don't believe such relationships exist or are necessary to be part of my inner fulfillment. I am not discounting the need for physical interaction and sexual needs. However, I do not believe multiple 'relationships' are required to define my spiritual self or my persona. In fact, most relationships seem to have hindered or interfered with my path of self-discovery -- or drained me of my energy to seek such on my own.

The distractions of relationships formed by non-actualized partners become dramatic. Communications are weak, insecurities are deep and cutting, and what 'could have been' becomes a test of willfulness between both parties.

The good news is that many do eventually find their way to a meaningful partnership in which they add to their personal growth but maintain their individual personas and spiritual natures.

But during the meantime, I just think how much less family law attorneys would earn and how much less heartache there could be if---- we had the guidance when younger to be shown a stronger path of individualized self-discovery rather than the distractions of societal mayhem.

have we become mediocre?

In the movie Amadeus, there were many references made by a smug Mozart discarding the many he considered as part of 'mediocrity', including the character of Salieri and Salieri's music. Yet, Mozart had the gift of genius to hear and see beyond the ordinary doldrums of life--- to mentally (and perhaps soulfully) exist from a tangent of higher dimension.

Or, perhaps it was because Mozart had been given proper training, practiced and allowed no one to deny what he could hear and compose?

The key is- he was given adequate formal training but also had self-interest enough in music to pursue beyond his given knowledge without adding interference from peer pressure mainstream such as the church and royal houses would do, and also, from other musicians and artists of his time. And, in his time, the Internet did not exist.

When the Internet started- it was a wonderful tool of free knowledge and advanced communications once protected by those in intellectual circles with money to do so. Well- it was rather complicated to turn computers on and route to the world wide web in those days. So generally speaking, the respect for the privilege of this 'secret society' interaction tended to filter junk information, marketing, advertising --- completely from within the circles.

Ah-- but then, the thought of a possible computer anarchy and global non-bourgeoisie commoners with great intellect potentially having deeper conversations apart from corporate or political control must have been a feared topic--- because suddenly the new idea was to corporatize the 'world wide web' into the ultimate new highway of communications--- to make it accessible to everyone, everywhere--- with several conditions:
1. make it a money making scheme
2. make it corporate governed with little government interference unless filtering suddenly becomes necessary
3. make it an advertising and marketing playground

Results? Well-- for one- the old adage of 'believe none of what you hear and half of what you see' is now to be challenged as the new era is one of 'misinformation'. It is surely becoming a source of entertainment and gossip, as much as tool of get rich quick schemers and fantasy sales. Basic knowledge has become merely tools for argumentative purpose to see how far the truth can be bent. When knowledge is insufficient, digital technologies are used to create a visual avatar so real and confusing, some cannot even distinguish the differences. Thus the lines of reality and fiction have become more grey and indistinct--- as much as the knowledge we once worked so hard to gain.

Even in graduate schools around the world, the advancements are based on whose arguments were the most undefeatable - not necessarily with the most proven number of tests (most defendable, not just 'defensible'). Patience has become a lost art and as quickly as one can become 'first to market (or the Internet)', well, certainly, that is the same amount of time in which people will have forgotten any perjuries or lies or mistruths that one person may have told to become 'first to market'.

We seem in a world in which truth is no longer an honor and mediocrity has become sainted in a shameful way because it is simpler to claim a post by boastfully braggadocios means than it is to study, work hard, take time and earn respect. Yet, society continues to demand faster and faster speeds --

I wonder only, is this how we will fulfill the Mayan prophecy? Will we once again forget all that has been learned and created to have to rebuild from our forgotten status once more??

witnessing the angst of a modern Peter Pan

Recently - I have had the fortune of interacting with a number of people in their twenties, approaching thirty or just thirty. What surprises me is the amount of lost syndrome with wanderlust that encompasses some of them-- to the point of this obsession paralyzing them into a status of non-productiveness.

What do I mean? Well, one young man, who is an interesting conversationalist, has had it very tough over the past few years. However, before those years, he was free-wheeling in California and even signed up to have a 'medical marijuana' card by finding a doctor who would allow his complaints to be written with such treatment. He is no longer on the west coast, but did manage to finish his degree in arts and he is completely at the mercy of his mother's salary in order to survive. His behavior one day is cognizant and coherent. The next day, things are breaking, he is stumbling and slurring - and he sounds just like Keanu Reeves from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

One day, he finally opens up to let me know how easy it is to get fake marijuana, as he starts to roll up the items directly in front of me. I assumed he could not afford much, so he couldn't possibly be doing that much.

So, when asked about his stumbling and 'stupor' like symptoms, he starts to explain he is on clozapine, ritalin, elavil, among other items. He says he is seeing a psychiatrist for depression. For some reason--- I can't help but wonder exactly how much of his diagnosis was based on conjecture and not evaluating the amount of 'fake pot' he is doing (or how much real pot he has done in the past). Did the psychiatrist really evaluate his habitual problems, or did he assume an immediate diagnosis?

Why do I ask? I am certainly not damning psychoactives-- as too many I know experiment-- and shamans I know have used to treat people. But they also say-- 'weak soul, weak mind-- stupid and addicted' ...

In other words-- not all people come out able to handle responsibilities in life from using any recreational drug a few times. Some people get stuck.

All I know is, after he goes to gas stations and comes back with a supply--- he parks on top of curbs, stumbles and breaks things... says he is hearing voices and suddenly things work very differently for him than for anybody else--- and his mood goes up and down, and he might crash for 20 to 24 hours straight--- and binge eat.... and then he claims it's all about being tired or having the wrong meds again.

(No - this person is NOT romantically attached nor is he a close associate-- these are just observations.)

I cannot help also notice there are other 28 year olds who are in their career early mid-point, going to graduate school, having children, moving to cities, going on adventures----

And I cannot help wonder-- exactly what is in the 'fake' stuff that he is such a mess? Why can't the psychiatrist see or understand what else is going on?

Strange---

lessons from an animal friend

Many years ago, a spirited little orange striped tabby bolted into my life as he brazenly went out of his way among a hoard of 15 or more kittens to show affection to me from inside a mini-shelter cage. His grand debut occured after the staff attempted to place him into a carrier box-- which he easily escaped from--- then they attempted to place him in a larger corrugate box, duct taped shut-- which he also, too easily escaped from. As he swaggered with his tail high above his hind quarters, it was obvious this was a proud cat full of zest for life. He was all too curious about the aisles of the pet store beyond the shelter cages and did not seem concerned about the giant towering humans running around to contain him.

To get him home safely - I finally took my jean jacket off and gently covered his eyes and wrapped him to pick him up. It was only seconds before he struggled to evade my clutches. However, having had many cats in my lifetime, I was able to hold his nape just like his mother would have, to get him into my car. Fotunately, someone else was driving - so I could hold him on my lap.

On the way to my apartment, the tiny 4 week old kitten decided to place his paws on the window and stretched up as far as his tiny body would go. He did not seem to have any fear---he simply was curious at all the sights and sounds we passed, whipping his head at every new unfamiliar item and interesting sound. When I exited the vehicle, I no longer had to cover his head. He seemed quite content to be looking around and did not even struggle much to get out of my grasp until entering the small apartment.

That was 19 years ago. Through the years, during a bad marriage, the poor cat was thrown about by my ex in fits of rage, endured hunger because of my ex's financial lies and carelessness and also, suffered with me as I sometimes would be in desperate measures and so fearful that I looked to my cat for solace and would hold him for hours while attempting to rest as he seemed to be the only thing to help calm me. But this cat stood by me always--- acting like he was my protector and dog-like in many ways, deciding to train the other cat or safeguard parakeets and fish from harm from other cats or dogs. He insisted I get rest when needed, crying until I would go to bed at times-- then diligently patting down the covers around me as though tucking me in. In the mornings, he would often gently wake me with purring in my ears or pats on my face, so I would not be late for work. And every time I came home, he would vigilantly be waiting by the door for my entry.

For many years, he even chose to learn things from me, doing tricks and learning to use a toilet after only a couple months of training. And no matter how many weeks I would go away overseas or with significant relationships--- as long as he could guard the home with a pet sitter coming by, he would always be so eager to see me again and welcome me. I knew he was special when he would even give up eating just to have time with me during my most busy work travel years.

He proved his loyalty to me to the very end the other week.

Sadly, he did have off/on health problems through the years but refused most attempted medical treatments. I finally had to listen and pay attention to his actions and what he was trying to communicate to me the other year. I fired his previous over zealously pharmaceutical vet and began to make a blend of items he seemed to respond to by eating voraciously. He showed me how to help him live another 6 years by this act - then, this year, he caught colds and began to fail quickly as he became stressed over my final move into our own home.

The last few weeks were difficult at best, as he lost ability in his hind legs and began to slide instead of walk. But he would eat with determination, communicate with his various vocabulary of 'meows' while constantly moving about, as if to try to heal. His new vet even said he thought the cat was acting like we were soulmates--- that this cat was determined to fight to stay with me a little longer.

Then last Monday, as I remained at work for too long, I returned home late at night to him attempting to stand and screeching a loud meow, after which he keeled over with weakness, having used the last of his strength to say hello and good bye once more to me. I held him in my arms through the night as he breathed in shallow breaths while kept his focus on me. In the morning, as I finished my shower, he attempted one more pitch but failed. As I held his head in the next minute- he breathed his last few breaths after looking upon me once more. It was as if he was saying, "I did my best, but I can't wait for you today, so I am going to say a final goodbye now, while you are still here."

Later that day, I dropped his body off at the vet and prepared to travel for work again for the remainder of the week.

It was as though he planned it all-- to the final end, showing me what a true unconditional love could be, regardless of any pain he had from the small tumor I found by his liver, he kept trying to be my companion and trying to communicate, and always showing just how much a spirit could love another being. But then he chose how he wanted to die and he did not even suffer much at all. And he communicated clearly to the very end...

What an amazing lesson he has for all of us.

fear and the security to be individual...

We as humans are bound by the pressures to be part of a pack, institution, group, label, social class, country. Many millenia ago it was something ingrained upon us as we (as fragile and primal creatures) fought against the perils of nature by joining packs. We would submit our weaker physical selves and wills into the dominion of the alphas that would make us feel secure. Our chances of survival would increase, as the odds of hunt, winning at war, warmth against the cold would be in more favor. If the perils of nature were too much, our children- might still survive raised by another - granting us another sense of security.

Over differing centuries, as the landscape of the world grew more familiar- we evolved, created, tested, designed and fortified materials, armaments, clothing, foods, shelter, traveling means --- to shrink our fears of being outside of a protective 'pack'.

Yet the fright or flight syndrome grows even in this modern world. Sometimes, by downturns of the economy, threats to loved ones, pressures placed upon us by bosses or corporations or politics and policies--- sometimes, just by propoganda and a mere suggestion by media. ("War of the Worlds", radio broadcast).

Do we need to fear? Do we want to fear? Is fear a constant requirement for our creativities and empathetic ability? Does fear make us learn? Does fear make us evolve?

Do we need to destroy or control to create fear?

Can we evolve beyond this primitive response trait?

peaceable and human-- attainable if we all so choose----

Today’s world economics (corporate) and political campaigns are based on indulging upon advantageous moments of instability (to easily find salve labour, cheap resources, and to justify class structure of the wealth of one country vs. another, etc) – ie: it is based on instabiliy and war as the engine to control internationl ‘hierarchies’ and keep the primary largest corporate ‘home’ stations (nations) at the top. Thus world peace would destroy their model...

However- what if-- just what if our spiritual needs were awakened into the physical form?

Our spiritual selves do not so much require the excesses of luxury cars and mansions with exquisite furnishings. Gold and excesses are things of physical substitution, not necessarily a spiritual manifestation. When our souls and our consciousness disconnect, we may tend to fill our emptiness with diversions of the moment. Where does it say we require the mercedes and the caviar to survive? Why does a diamond give us a sense of title? How did we achieve such 'things' (if it has happened?)

Oftimes, the laws of economics begin with discussion of supply vs. demand. We, as the human subjugates of the corporate engines, are taught to 'create' the demand. It is our demand that creates the supply. Sometimes, the demand is in the name of life. Other times, it is to fill us with a few seconds of transitory satisfaction--- that passes.

If we were to fill our moments of need with human fulfillment and spiritual awareness... what would happen to the corporate laws of economics? How much more or less would the resources of the planet be needed? Would we need to covet our neighbor's new things???

Where in lies corporate function in this society except to feed primal insecurities and give into sociologic dog pack mentality?

WSJ printed a pity article today about the inner workings of Goldman Sach's 'partner's' circle and woe are they who will get demoted and become psychologically traumatized. The average salary is $200K annum and partner's make millions per year in bonuses. If you are 'demoted', you lose your bonus. If you are still 'popular', you will be told secretly and given the option for other company roles as non-partner or to have the choice to find another position and exit quietly. If you are not- well, surprise or you might be completely let go. Here's the catch- the psychological justification is to support the newest, hungriest, most profit returning 'talent'- however, they want high turnover to keep things 'fresh'. So each new 'inner' circle is supposed to be decided every 1 to 2 years, by an existing fraction of the current 'inner' circle. Thus, spreadout all over, people like Senator Corzine, Treasury Sec's Rubin and Paulson--- all former 'partners'.
However, think about it-- each 'inner' circle, selects the next inner circle.. etc. Has anyone noticed how in human pack mentality- conformity and group justification, not individuality or leadership, becomes the club's unwritten rules for inner acceptance? It has become the new feudalism selection process-- beyond marriage and chivalry, selling one's soul to the corporate ladder with a little nepotistic assistance seems the way to the privileged life. A new system of 'residency' that will secure the future of the money chain- the same one the general public has been trained to 'invest into', to 'trust', to 'bank with' and to build 'retirement funds' with. The same one the US government 'bailed out' to save the economy with.
Then they breed that trained neo-consciousness without their souls- and move into politics, other executive positions and create new corporations in the likeness and image of their first. They have learned to know one way of life, ‘live to make money’, and cannot step outside the boundaries into the unknown as their lives are conditioned and conditionally lived to served the corporate profit turns.

and many wonder why the system is such a mess—
So how does one help these people find a soul? Do they even want to feel anymore? Have they ever tasted water from a natural stream, watched animals at play outside of a zoo or video, ever felt the joy of completing a task of creative endeavor of their own making? Will they be given a chance to understand or experience the depths of all life has to offer?

self-imprisoned by guilt

In my travels and curious nature, I have been fortunate to meet many types of people from all walks of life. Some embrace me, some reject me--- there are those who become acquaintances, some become life long friends and others are friends of the moment. Each has a story to tell--- each shares a moment of 'human-ness' with me, as I do with them. Interestingly, there are many who seek to speak to me for the sanity of knowing a different life from theirs, as each of us seem to do. However, the most unusual to me, are those in such blessed condition of fortunes, that they carry guilt within their hearts as heavy as the gold they store.

Many of those I've met with such guilt, are educated very well, cultured, diverse in talents and have experienced things in life that only a few privileged souls will ever see. They have dined with billionaires and dignitaries, seen seven or more wonders of the world and ridden or slept in the most luxurious creations of human imagination. Yet, they have deep hearts and generosity, willing to care for more than they are able to handle, eventually, forgetting their own selves in the process. Yet, they still cry of their emptiness, sadness--- often in therapy or medicated for various disorders associated with depression. Their hands are soft and pedicured, while their backs remain youthful from lack of hard labour and massages to stimulate the need for youth.

In sadness, vision bears only what their consciousness chooses to see as the fear of the unknown and their emptiness, a great darkness, becomes their own enemy. The things taught of how they 'should be' from private schools and etiquette lessons anchor their spirits into a restrain they know not how to control. In their need to meet the demands of their families and social positions, they become employed or shown in circles that demand pristine appearance and proof of worthiness over genuine humanitarian out letting. Then a wanton piece deep within their soul sparks the sense of loneliness realized as their circle of friends define their daily life through expectations of their exterior---- not their inner selves. Suddenly a gripping guilt takes over within them and they cannot see their way---

All the years of pretenses and social graces were never able to explain to them their spiritual awakening or the possibility of a connectedness to something greater than the human physical form. Suddenly the cocktail dresses and the tuxedos, or the million dollar autos and multimillion dollar mansions and parties seem less meaningful and more transient than ever. Their indulgences become satiated for a moment when it is noticed that the other humans in their circle are not truly connected in a soulful manner to them... it is a shallow friendship at best.

It is here that guilt sets in and the socialite suddenly becomes the recluse. These changes in heart are not always found at the sight of abandoned hungry children in the outposts of barren and warring lands... it is the realization of an empty disconnection that might last forever. It is when they find their soul.

However, as much as they struggle, the temptation to blind their own perception with distractions of their social sets remain. The need to remain close to their material indulgences forces a grappling with their ethics and soul. They cannot find way to let go of those golden walls that have shielded them for so long. Guilt becomes their mainstay and their right of reason... and their despair.

I cannot express empathy but have much sympathy for friends who feel this despair. Often, those of us without such fortunes are quick to turn on them for their shallowness--- yet they know no other, having been taught only this way. For lack of their spiritual awareness all their lives, this is the best they can do--- choose to become 'lost' while listening to the first disturbances within their soul. Theirs, is a prison within and their deity unknown to them, is merely a boundary defined by guilt-- not by celebration and peace. Perhaps this is their lesson in this lifetime. Perhaps it is something reaching out to help them. Perhaps it is the universe asking the fortunate to awaken to the needs of the unfortunate.

Regardless, all of these remain signs of desires to seek balance in every level--- signs of a universal consciousness that is reaching out to all minds and corners--- and in the guilt of some there is hope for others, as eyes open to new experiences and ways...

a thought for the moment...

To think of places considered undeveloped or lost in the sense of current civilization, many often imagine ruins and third world countries full of destitute and hungry souls. One is taught by the media and conditioning to envision the depravity while appreciating the fortune of a full belly.

When traveling to such places, ofttimes, it is not the vision of the hunger and lack of materialism seen in the faces of the people. Often, it is the determination of life and the satisfaction of accomplishing each day in the fulfillment of living that day. When speaking to the children and young adults that have been exposed to western culture (USA and Europe) -- they have questions about giant buildings, man-made giant machines and the soul-less mass produced creations of large companies. They were once convinced to associate these things with wealth and satisfaction in life. Most of these things are very distant and removed from them, merely some physical man-made item that might someday be accessible or useful. These things do not have pet names, imaginary personas and are not quite an absolute necessity of their existence. Yet in continued conversation, one learns their souls are full, their lungs breathe air deeply and their hearts are happy.

Strolling around Manhattan in New York City, USA, today, I made a different observation. Every material creation is available within a few blocks. Every natural item, even food, is repositioned or recreated to be made into some form of visual enticement, advertising it as an 'additionally' beneficial item, whether necessary or not. Everything is for sale-- and everything has a price tag. There is nothing truly priceless, not even people or souls.

Here, I saw a number of souls half-full or with spaces, hearts in flux or worry and many smiles with emptiness. And here I observed many cars with pet names, computers with personas and multi-media phones taking precedence over basic neighborly greetings or having dinner as a family. There were also many with allergy pills, inhalers for COPD and many in a rush to swallow food without chewing, let alone taking the time to breathe while speaking on a phone. The conversation often heard was about lack of companionship, lack of time, lack of money. There were too many dreaming and wishing interest in other places in the world with cultures who demanded respecting time to live and experience life.

We are a forgetful lot--- and I wonder if I will know when I have 'enough' for satisfaction in the place I happen to be, instead of longing for what is elsewhere in a foreign land?

because we are unfulfilled, we covet; because we covet, we remain unfulfilled

Previously there have been posts about the practice of 'coveting'. And mention on the lack of fulfillment in life. Now, perhaps it is time to merge the thoughts and observe:
Because we are unfulfilled (ourselves), we covet. Because we covet, we remain unfulfilled.

What does this mean?

In olden days humans found a glory in achieving a purpose, a craft, a project. Completion of projects, like the cyclical nature of seasons, the rhythm of the waters, the constant exchange of life and death--- made sense to us. Finding a talent to share, overcoming an obstacle (through peaceful or antagonistic means), meant a solution. A finality. A fulfillment.

Through each fulfillment, we would rise in wonder of the gifts bestowed upon us to achieve such things. We could be grateful for the presence of the universe and still have wonderment at the lights of Aurora Borealis or a shooting star. Life was 'solvable' but still a mystery that we would take moments to acknowledge. After several fulfilling moments would pass, we would learn discovery of self, communing with the body and spirit within the mind that grew with each learned event. We appreciated life around us as each had a purpose and talent to share with us. When enough was fulfilled, our bodies would pass on with a contented spirit and mind--- knowing our life purposes was completed.

Then came the world of chaos, wars, modernism, industrialism, capitalism, socialism--- and every purported great social model to theoretically manage large populations and economies to sustain them. Too antiquated were the ideas of bartering, sharing with neighbors, dining communally and exchanging talents among friends to live and survive. Slowly being edged out, were the underlying qualities breeding honor, respect, pride and love.

Instead, overcome with the notions of competition for self gain and material achievements, whether ambitiously crafted by oneself, or purchased at the highest prices from a master. Each individual has been sold the idea of becoming a grandeur royal, or, at least to showcase material possessions in the style of the olden kings and queens. The larger mansions, the grandiose furnishings, the automobiles--- to look great in finery, rather than to be spiritually fulfilled, became the marketed objective. After all, we were taught-- it is good to spend money to purchase things for the greater of the economy! Why should we waste time preparing food, building our own dream homes, creating our own furniture-- if we can buy what someone else made? Why should we not 'covet' our neighbor's styles and designs, why should we consider being truly individual and designing our own? After all, to be too 'individual' might mean rejection and abandonment--- becoming, unpopular and ousted.

How have we come to this? What happened to the treasuring of our uniqueness? Why is it so easy to forget we are individual gifts, each with purpose, each with acceptance for singular qualities--- that the universe requires us to explore?

It is important to note, some, the rare few, do still find fulfillment in modern times, but it is indeed becoming more sparse a reality. So many lost remain so, revolving in endless growing hours of working to attain enough money to be one of the desired. A never ending cycle of make and spend, always compared and comparing, always empty, always wondering if they have value.

If only we could love those things within ourselves enough again. If only, we would find fulfillment in strength within, without need to covet or without need to desire to be defined by others.

walking in a dual path

The first thing to question is, are we spiritual humans in physical form, or spirits temporarily captured in human physical form?

The next thing to ask is, do we recognize the spiritual self may not be a singular individual entity? That it actually may be connected to the greater universe?

If the above is accepted and known-- and exercised -- it could be possible to tap into something much more than this world of houses, cars, bills, society, work and technology. But it seems it can be also a burden, as so many of the great spiritual leaders lived outside of the norms of their society, answering to a different call. Our physical life, our societal demands, have besieged us with thoughts of expectations of the material kind. However, if we are destined to be spiritual messengers on a physical mission, how can the material values be of benefit when we are returned to the spiritual mission? What might the actual physical missions be?

I often wonder this as I explore the multiple, repetitious history of mankind. We seem to have evolved physically to an extent, yet, spiritually, we doom ourselves to the same cycle of egoism, power wagers, material hoarding and continue to live with a behavioral attitude based on fear of scarcity (of food, of water, of warmth, of comparison, of companionship, of shelter, etc.) Why do we choose to forget the mistakes of our physical ancestors and defy the thought that life is a continuum of cyclical evolution of energy? What if in the idea of reincarnation, we are 'spiritual students' who are to repeat each cycle of life until becoming a complete 'senescent adult'? If so, how many cycles would it take for those of us who exist with our behavior in this world?

They say we cannot carry the material world with us, as much as the remains of the pyramids of the Egyptian Pharoahs have shown us. Those things made of matter remain in forms of matter. Our spirit might be considered a form of 'anti-matter' (though some sciences have suggested there might be a measureable 'quantifying' value of matter to the 'soul'). Even the children and the children's children will one day succumb to the impermanence of life and only carry the wonderful memories and experiences to the 'non-form' world of the spirit. What is it then that we should represent? Why is it that we exhaust so much in worry on hoarding values of the physical world?

how can global peace be found outside without knowing peace inside?

Where has compassion and congeniality gone? Where is the truth of peaceable solutions and resolve? Where is there a moment of peace without a political or corporatized under current? When is 'enough' realized?
The modern “western” world of mass production, rapid transit and instantaneous services has brought about an air of convenience and personal convictions of desire. Dreams are made to not be broken, but to be made and outdone. Rewards are materialistic and spontaneity has become a norm. Conversation is restricted to the ‘new’ shortened language (as seemingly predicted by Orwell) in the form of SMS, email and informal slang--- of which, actual translation and interpretation of the person, becomes lost to overwhelming pushes of spam that divide our attention. Our sights become shorter in distance and the essence of origin and humility is forgotten to endless consumption without grace or gratefulness. All these ‘neo-philosophical commandments’, not for humanity or inner growth but rather, justified by the idea that we must forge human survival on profit and business.
In the midst of the ‘new order’, the medical annals continue to study the population’s increasingly disturbed symptoms in reaction to stress. It has been compared to ‘fright or flight’ syndrome. So many personal acquaintances are often speaking of how they ‘wish to get away’, ‘wish for another life’, ‘wish to be at another job’, ‘wish to be with someone else’, ‘wish to be someone else’. These are not necessarily ‘dreams’ to be fulfilled, but statements made as ordinary conversation. These are not wanton and needy persons, but rather, successful, well-to-do, competitive and ambitious people who state they love challenges and growth. They say they are grateful for their fortunate circumstances. Yet, they continue to feel amiss.
It is here I cannot help but wonder--- what is the state of their inner being they have not yet recognized the essence of the challenges, yet fortuitous karma they have been given? Perhaps in another life they suffered, endured and have been rewarded this time. Yet, in this ‘reward’, all the suffering forgotten, they long for more. They have been taught to run and move away from bad roommates in college, to separate from materially non-fulfilling relationships, to switch positions or companies from ‘bad boss syndromes’. Nothing is good enough, nothing is satisfying enough. Once is not enough. Life is not enough. Conversation is a ‘lost art’ and reality television or glamour gossip has replaced life with global conviction.
How fortunate we are, to afford to move or separate so easily? Some have become financially so ‘successful’ that they can buy their future away from negative fate itself. If they must face any discourse or anxiety, they need not face the challenge of truly communicating to find peace, but rather, can purchase ‘masker’ prescriptions or simply, ‘find another place to live’. Yet, unlike centuries past, we are able to move thousands of miles in a day with a little preparation, or, for the affluent, immediately if assistance is purchased. It seems some have become quite adept at ‘flight’ and live a constant state of ‘fright’ of conflict, ‘ugliness’, disagreeable terms or situations not to one’s pleasure.
Yet after the ‘flight’, the conflict does not seem to end. Instead, there is a continuous air of inner ‘non-security’, the fright. “Talk is cheap” is the mantra and conversation remains shallow at best.
I cannot but beg to ask, how is it the world has been ‘trained’ to emulate the neo-modern ‘western’ culture of spoils, in the quest of global peace? There is nothing wrong with seeking successes over ambition, but what of the inner balance that must so often be cast aside for the chance to seek glory in a material world. But what of those that do not remember their way to the inner world? Why has it become necessary to know the things of the 'convenience society' or of the 'rich and famous' to find self-worth?
How can peace be found or realized in such state?