fear and the security to be individual...

We as humans are bound by the pressures to be part of a pack, institution, group, label, social class, country. Many millenia ago it was something ingrained upon us as we (as fragile and primal creatures) fought against the perils of nature by joining packs. We would submit our weaker physical selves and wills into the dominion of the alphas that would make us feel secure. Our chances of survival would increase, as the odds of hunt, winning at war, warmth against the cold would be in more favor. If the perils of nature were too much, our children- might still survive raised by another - granting us another sense of security.

Over differing centuries, as the landscape of the world grew more familiar- we evolved, created, tested, designed and fortified materials, armaments, clothing, foods, shelter, traveling means --- to shrink our fears of being outside of a protective 'pack'.

Yet the fright or flight syndrome grows even in this modern world. Sometimes, by downturns of the economy, threats to loved ones, pressures placed upon us by bosses or corporations or politics and policies--- sometimes, just by propoganda and a mere suggestion by media. ("War of the Worlds", radio broadcast).

Do we need to fear? Do we want to fear? Is fear a constant requirement for our creativities and empathetic ability? Does fear make us learn? Does fear make us evolve?

Do we need to destroy or control to create fear?

Can we evolve beyond this primitive response trait?

peaceable and human-- attainable if we all so choose----

Today’s world economics (corporate) and political campaigns are based on indulging upon advantageous moments of instability (to easily find salve labour, cheap resources, and to justify class structure of the wealth of one country vs. another, etc) – ie: it is based on instabiliy and war as the engine to control internationl ‘hierarchies’ and keep the primary largest corporate ‘home’ stations (nations) at the top. Thus world peace would destroy their model...

However- what if-- just what if our spiritual needs were awakened into the physical form?

Our spiritual selves do not so much require the excesses of luxury cars and mansions with exquisite furnishings. Gold and excesses are things of physical substitution, not necessarily a spiritual manifestation. When our souls and our consciousness disconnect, we may tend to fill our emptiness with diversions of the moment. Where does it say we require the mercedes and the caviar to survive? Why does a diamond give us a sense of title? How did we achieve such 'things' (if it has happened?)

Oftimes, the laws of economics begin with discussion of supply vs. demand. We, as the human subjugates of the corporate engines, are taught to 'create' the demand. It is our demand that creates the supply. Sometimes, the demand is in the name of life. Other times, it is to fill us with a few seconds of transitory satisfaction--- that passes.

If we were to fill our moments of need with human fulfillment and spiritual awareness... what would happen to the corporate laws of economics? How much more or less would the resources of the planet be needed? Would we need to covet our neighbor's new things???

Where in lies corporate function in this society except to feed primal insecurities and give into sociologic dog pack mentality?

WSJ printed a pity article today about the inner workings of Goldman Sach's 'partner's' circle and woe are they who will get demoted and become psychologically traumatized. The average salary is $200K annum and partner's make millions per year in bonuses. If you are 'demoted', you lose your bonus. If you are still 'popular', you will be told secretly and given the option for other company roles as non-partner or to have the choice to find another position and exit quietly. If you are not- well, surprise or you might be completely let go. Here's the catch- the psychological justification is to support the newest, hungriest, most profit returning 'talent'- however, they want high turnover to keep things 'fresh'. So each new 'inner' circle is supposed to be decided every 1 to 2 years, by an existing fraction of the current 'inner' circle. Thus, spreadout all over, people like Senator Corzine, Treasury Sec's Rubin and Paulson--- all former 'partners'.
However, think about it-- each 'inner' circle, selects the next inner circle.. etc. Has anyone noticed how in human pack mentality- conformity and group justification, not individuality or leadership, becomes the club's unwritten rules for inner acceptance? It has become the new feudalism selection process-- beyond marriage and chivalry, selling one's soul to the corporate ladder with a little nepotistic assistance seems the way to the privileged life. A new system of 'residency' that will secure the future of the money chain- the same one the general public has been trained to 'invest into', to 'trust', to 'bank with' and to build 'retirement funds' with. The same one the US government 'bailed out' to save the economy with.
Then they breed that trained neo-consciousness without their souls- and move into politics, other executive positions and create new corporations in the likeness and image of their first. They have learned to know one way of life, ‘live to make money’, and cannot step outside the boundaries into the unknown as their lives are conditioned and conditionally lived to served the corporate profit turns.

and many wonder why the system is such a mess—
So how does one help these people find a soul? Do they even want to feel anymore? Have they ever tasted water from a natural stream, watched animals at play outside of a zoo or video, ever felt the joy of completing a task of creative endeavor of their own making? Will they be given a chance to understand or experience the depths of all life has to offer?

self-imprisoned by guilt

In my travels and curious nature, I have been fortunate to meet many types of people from all walks of life. Some embrace me, some reject me--- there are those who become acquaintances, some become life long friends and others are friends of the moment. Each has a story to tell--- each shares a moment of 'human-ness' with me, as I do with them. Interestingly, there are many who seek to speak to me for the sanity of knowing a different life from theirs, as each of us seem to do. However, the most unusual to me, are those in such blessed condition of fortunes, that they carry guilt within their hearts as heavy as the gold they store.

Many of those I've met with such guilt, are educated very well, cultured, diverse in talents and have experienced things in life that only a few privileged souls will ever see. They have dined with billionaires and dignitaries, seen seven or more wonders of the world and ridden or slept in the most luxurious creations of human imagination. Yet, they have deep hearts and generosity, willing to care for more than they are able to handle, eventually, forgetting their own selves in the process. Yet, they still cry of their emptiness, sadness--- often in therapy or medicated for various disorders associated with depression. Their hands are soft and pedicured, while their backs remain youthful from lack of hard labour and massages to stimulate the need for youth.

In sadness, vision bears only what their consciousness chooses to see as the fear of the unknown and their emptiness, a great darkness, becomes their own enemy. The things taught of how they 'should be' from private schools and etiquette lessons anchor their spirits into a restrain they know not how to control. In their need to meet the demands of their families and social positions, they become employed or shown in circles that demand pristine appearance and proof of worthiness over genuine humanitarian out letting. Then a wanton piece deep within their soul sparks the sense of loneliness realized as their circle of friends define their daily life through expectations of their exterior---- not their inner selves. Suddenly a gripping guilt takes over within them and they cannot see their way---

All the years of pretenses and social graces were never able to explain to them their spiritual awakening or the possibility of a connectedness to something greater than the human physical form. Suddenly the cocktail dresses and the tuxedos, or the million dollar autos and multimillion dollar mansions and parties seem less meaningful and more transient than ever. Their indulgences become satiated for a moment when it is noticed that the other humans in their circle are not truly connected in a soulful manner to them... it is a shallow friendship at best.

It is here that guilt sets in and the socialite suddenly becomes the recluse. These changes in heart are not always found at the sight of abandoned hungry children in the outposts of barren and warring lands... it is the realization of an empty disconnection that might last forever. It is when they find their soul.

However, as much as they struggle, the temptation to blind their own perception with distractions of their social sets remain. The need to remain close to their material indulgences forces a grappling with their ethics and soul. They cannot find way to let go of those golden walls that have shielded them for so long. Guilt becomes their mainstay and their right of reason... and their despair.

I cannot express empathy but have much sympathy for friends who feel this despair. Often, those of us without such fortunes are quick to turn on them for their shallowness--- yet they know no other, having been taught only this way. For lack of their spiritual awareness all their lives, this is the best they can do--- choose to become 'lost' while listening to the first disturbances within their soul. Theirs, is a prison within and their deity unknown to them, is merely a boundary defined by guilt-- not by celebration and peace. Perhaps this is their lesson in this lifetime. Perhaps it is something reaching out to help them. Perhaps it is the universe asking the fortunate to awaken to the needs of the unfortunate.

Regardless, all of these remain signs of desires to seek balance in every level--- signs of a universal consciousness that is reaching out to all minds and corners--- and in the guilt of some there is hope for others, as eyes open to new experiences and ways...

a thought for the moment...

To think of places considered undeveloped or lost in the sense of current civilization, many often imagine ruins and third world countries full of destitute and hungry souls. One is taught by the media and conditioning to envision the depravity while appreciating the fortune of a full belly.

When traveling to such places, ofttimes, it is not the vision of the hunger and lack of materialism seen in the faces of the people. Often, it is the determination of life and the satisfaction of accomplishing each day in the fulfillment of living that day. When speaking to the children and young adults that have been exposed to western culture (USA and Europe) -- they have questions about giant buildings, man-made giant machines and the soul-less mass produced creations of large companies. They were once convinced to associate these things with wealth and satisfaction in life. Most of these things are very distant and removed from them, merely some physical man-made item that might someday be accessible or useful. These things do not have pet names, imaginary personas and are not quite an absolute necessity of their existence. Yet in continued conversation, one learns their souls are full, their lungs breathe air deeply and their hearts are happy.

Strolling around Manhattan in New York City, USA, today, I made a different observation. Every material creation is available within a few blocks. Every natural item, even food, is repositioned or recreated to be made into some form of visual enticement, advertising it as an 'additionally' beneficial item, whether necessary or not. Everything is for sale-- and everything has a price tag. There is nothing truly priceless, not even people or souls.

Here, I saw a number of souls half-full or with spaces, hearts in flux or worry and many smiles with emptiness. And here I observed many cars with pet names, computers with personas and multi-media phones taking precedence over basic neighborly greetings or having dinner as a family. There were also many with allergy pills, inhalers for COPD and many in a rush to swallow food without chewing, let alone taking the time to breathe while speaking on a phone. The conversation often heard was about lack of companionship, lack of time, lack of money. There were too many dreaming and wishing interest in other places in the world with cultures who demanded respecting time to live and experience life.

We are a forgetful lot--- and I wonder if I will know when I have 'enough' for satisfaction in the place I happen to be, instead of longing for what is elsewhere in a foreign land?

because we are unfulfilled, we covet; because we covet, we remain unfulfilled

Previously there have been posts about the practice of 'coveting'. And mention on the lack of fulfillment in life. Now, perhaps it is time to merge the thoughts and observe:
Because we are unfulfilled (ourselves), we covet. Because we covet, we remain unfulfilled.

What does this mean?

In olden days humans found a glory in achieving a purpose, a craft, a project. Completion of projects, like the cyclical nature of seasons, the rhythm of the waters, the constant exchange of life and death--- made sense to us. Finding a talent to share, overcoming an obstacle (through peaceful or antagonistic means), meant a solution. A finality. A fulfillment.

Through each fulfillment, we would rise in wonder of the gifts bestowed upon us to achieve such things. We could be grateful for the presence of the universe and still have wonderment at the lights of Aurora Borealis or a shooting star. Life was 'solvable' but still a mystery that we would take moments to acknowledge. After several fulfilling moments would pass, we would learn discovery of self, communing with the body and spirit within the mind that grew with each learned event. We appreciated life around us as each had a purpose and talent to share with us. When enough was fulfilled, our bodies would pass on with a contented spirit and mind--- knowing our life purposes was completed.

Then came the world of chaos, wars, modernism, industrialism, capitalism, socialism--- and every purported great social model to theoretically manage large populations and economies to sustain them. Too antiquated were the ideas of bartering, sharing with neighbors, dining communally and exchanging talents among friends to live and survive. Slowly being edged out, were the underlying qualities breeding honor, respect, pride and love.

Instead, overcome with the notions of competition for self gain and material achievements, whether ambitiously crafted by oneself, or purchased at the highest prices from a master. Each individual has been sold the idea of becoming a grandeur royal, or, at least to showcase material possessions in the style of the olden kings and queens. The larger mansions, the grandiose furnishings, the automobiles--- to look great in finery, rather than to be spiritually fulfilled, became the marketed objective. After all, we were taught-- it is good to spend money to purchase things for the greater of the economy! Why should we waste time preparing food, building our own dream homes, creating our own furniture-- if we can buy what someone else made? Why should we not 'covet' our neighbor's styles and designs, why should we consider being truly individual and designing our own? After all, to be too 'individual' might mean rejection and abandonment--- becoming, unpopular and ousted.

How have we come to this? What happened to the treasuring of our uniqueness? Why is it so easy to forget we are individual gifts, each with purpose, each with acceptance for singular qualities--- that the universe requires us to explore?

It is important to note, some, the rare few, do still find fulfillment in modern times, but it is indeed becoming more sparse a reality. So many lost remain so, revolving in endless growing hours of working to attain enough money to be one of the desired. A never ending cycle of make and spend, always compared and comparing, always empty, always wondering if they have value.

If only we could love those things within ourselves enough again. If only, we would find fulfillment in strength within, without need to covet or without need to desire to be defined by others.

walking in a dual path

The first thing to question is, are we spiritual humans in physical form, or spirits temporarily captured in human physical form?

The next thing to ask is, do we recognize the spiritual self may not be a singular individual entity? That it actually may be connected to the greater universe?

If the above is accepted and known-- and exercised -- it could be possible to tap into something much more than this world of houses, cars, bills, society, work and technology. But it seems it can be also a burden, as so many of the great spiritual leaders lived outside of the norms of their society, answering to a different call. Our physical life, our societal demands, have besieged us with thoughts of expectations of the material kind. However, if we are destined to be spiritual messengers on a physical mission, how can the material values be of benefit when we are returned to the spiritual mission? What might the actual physical missions be?

I often wonder this as I explore the multiple, repetitious history of mankind. We seem to have evolved physically to an extent, yet, spiritually, we doom ourselves to the same cycle of egoism, power wagers, material hoarding and continue to live with a behavioral attitude based on fear of scarcity (of food, of water, of warmth, of comparison, of companionship, of shelter, etc.) Why do we choose to forget the mistakes of our physical ancestors and defy the thought that life is a continuum of cyclical evolution of energy? What if in the idea of reincarnation, we are 'spiritual students' who are to repeat each cycle of life until becoming a complete 'senescent adult'? If so, how many cycles would it take for those of us who exist with our behavior in this world?

They say we cannot carry the material world with us, as much as the remains of the pyramids of the Egyptian Pharoahs have shown us. Those things made of matter remain in forms of matter. Our spirit might be considered a form of 'anti-matter' (though some sciences have suggested there might be a measureable 'quantifying' value of matter to the 'soul'). Even the children and the children's children will one day succumb to the impermanence of life and only carry the wonderful memories and experiences to the 'non-form' world of the spirit. What is it then that we should represent? Why is it that we exhaust so much in worry on hoarding values of the physical world?

how can global peace be found outside without knowing peace inside?

Where has compassion and congeniality gone? Where is the truth of peaceable solutions and resolve? Where is there a moment of peace without a political or corporatized under current? When is 'enough' realized?
The modern “western” world of mass production, rapid transit and instantaneous services has brought about an air of convenience and personal convictions of desire. Dreams are made to not be broken, but to be made and outdone. Rewards are materialistic and spontaneity has become a norm. Conversation is restricted to the ‘new’ shortened language (as seemingly predicted by Orwell) in the form of SMS, email and informal slang--- of which, actual translation and interpretation of the person, becomes lost to overwhelming pushes of spam that divide our attention. Our sights become shorter in distance and the essence of origin and humility is forgotten to endless consumption without grace or gratefulness. All these ‘neo-philosophical commandments’, not for humanity or inner growth but rather, justified by the idea that we must forge human survival on profit and business.
In the midst of the ‘new order’, the medical annals continue to study the population’s increasingly disturbed symptoms in reaction to stress. It has been compared to ‘fright or flight’ syndrome. So many personal acquaintances are often speaking of how they ‘wish to get away’, ‘wish for another life’, ‘wish to be at another job’, ‘wish to be with someone else’, ‘wish to be someone else’. These are not necessarily ‘dreams’ to be fulfilled, but statements made as ordinary conversation. These are not wanton and needy persons, but rather, successful, well-to-do, competitive and ambitious people who state they love challenges and growth. They say they are grateful for their fortunate circumstances. Yet, they continue to feel amiss.
It is here I cannot help but wonder--- what is the state of their inner being they have not yet recognized the essence of the challenges, yet fortuitous karma they have been given? Perhaps in another life they suffered, endured and have been rewarded this time. Yet, in this ‘reward’, all the suffering forgotten, they long for more. They have been taught to run and move away from bad roommates in college, to separate from materially non-fulfilling relationships, to switch positions or companies from ‘bad boss syndromes’. Nothing is good enough, nothing is satisfying enough. Once is not enough. Life is not enough. Conversation is a ‘lost art’ and reality television or glamour gossip has replaced life with global conviction.
How fortunate we are, to afford to move or separate so easily? Some have become financially so ‘successful’ that they can buy their future away from negative fate itself. If they must face any discourse or anxiety, they need not face the challenge of truly communicating to find peace, but rather, can purchase ‘masker’ prescriptions or simply, ‘find another place to live’. Yet, unlike centuries past, we are able to move thousands of miles in a day with a little preparation, or, for the affluent, immediately if assistance is purchased. It seems some have become quite adept at ‘flight’ and live a constant state of ‘fright’ of conflict, ‘ugliness’, disagreeable terms or situations not to one’s pleasure.
Yet after the ‘flight’, the conflict does not seem to end. Instead, there is a continuous air of inner ‘non-security’, the fright. “Talk is cheap” is the mantra and conversation remains shallow at best.
I cannot but beg to ask, how is it the world has been ‘trained’ to emulate the neo-modern ‘western’ culture of spoils, in the quest of global peace? There is nothing wrong with seeking successes over ambition, but what of the inner balance that must so often be cast aside for the chance to seek glory in a material world. But what of those that do not remember their way to the inner world? Why has it become necessary to know the things of the 'convenience society' or of the 'rich and famous' to find self-worth?
How can peace be found or realized in such state?

human spiritual evolution

In the course of human events, the Maya describe how the 'world' as we know it has been destroyed in several civilizations and we are about to embark on yet another destruction. More accurately, human generated self-destruction. We may blame it on a lexicon of events-- as though we enter the nexuses and cannot continue. Perhaps there is another thought to consider. It seems humanity itself, like children wide-eyed by their first sense of control over a toy or mastering the first sand castle, enjoys the thrills of power and envelopment of existence to their command. The sheer joy and pleasure of the physical begs us to turn away from a universal consciousness that drives our inner spirits-- the spiritual world. We are so concerned with advancements of the physical world through technology, education (as we define it), finances, expansion-- that it seems the very balance of the physical and spiritual is condemned by most of the 'developed civilizations'.

I question then, what have we learned from history of previous great 'civilizations'? Many were formidably advanced for their times. We have yet to explain the mysteries of how pyramids and strange devices were built in Egypt. But each society ended as it found itself in a moment of emptiness of spirit as chaos lay before them. To me, it seems each society had evolved their physical and material ends but never quite found way to evolve their spiritual balances.

I suppose I wonder if that is the same status now? The precipices of the positive values of all the religions around the world (including those that I may not be fond of, considered modern 'cults') -- are always founded on principles of good. Along the way though, the physical values for material culture seemed to have crept in, as a hierarchy develops in each religion, requiring a power struggle and structure. It seems humanity cannot function without a contrived structure and a human derived, human judged system of values. We seem to fear not being able to place a judgement value on all things and persons more than fearing the chaos that we think will occur if we do not have this. Yet all of these labels were historically set into place as power plays by other humans.

What if, to save humanity, it is these very values and historically predetermined, unevolved spiritual values that are the things that deny us the peaceful unity we seek? What if we were able to teach each other ways to connect to the universal consciousness that we would find the confidence to know we are fulfilling the destiny we were born to follow? What if to do so, means to deny the value systems in place by the currently large organized and accepted 'religions' of the world?

This is in no way to negate their functions. Again, the precipices were founded on positive principles. But perhaps these have become tainted by the powerplays of humans along the way. Perhaps, it is time to allow a spiritual evolution that questions rules set by humans not free of their child-self 'ids'.

In a spiritual evolution, there must be consideration that we are all from the source of the same universal consciousness, we are all potentially constructed of molecules from the original 'Big Bang' and that we all potentially may contain a 'spark' of an atomic energy from the original source, that Christians may call God and the Holy Spirit. That would logically mean we could all tap into a 'God soul'-- a connected, perfect soul--- that would guide us to our purpose.

It is a fearful thing to trust and allow this. It could mean that centuries of human faith may be proven shallow and immaterial to the sense of universal flow. It may mean those in the upper eschelon of societies are actually the most lost, misdirected and impassionate. It could strike a blow in each of us if we find all of our beloved comfort levels of acceptability, terms of behavior, laws and assumed values of right and wrong--- no longer matter.

But what if? What if this is the path to enlightenment? To discard all the things the physical has taught us, to find the unity of the spirit and the body by accepting a higher sense of order that is beyond our capacity to see and describe in human form?

What are we in the scheme of things?

Many times were spent under a tree or walking alone in a mountain forest pondering what might be the total essence of the 'whole person'. Sure, each are born, raised, taught, influenced, guided, grown and set on a path to propagate the cycle. Every 'living' creature (or plant) is given that task. Yet, what else? What more? Somehow, there is this interconnectedness that mates each of our existences into the universe, as bound by a duty on this planet surviving in it's biosphere by an underlying symbiosis of life. Surely, there must be more?

Here in lies my personal quest. Countless hours, lost moments spent on the visions from deep dreams of another time at night, while thoughts sent from an unknown would permeate conscious meditation. In between, the doldrums of school, life activities, work, relationships would suffice to fill the time when the mind needed respite from the altered connection to the unknown that could not be described.

I suppose by some standards, there are those who would laughingly call this a form of insanity or perhaps a drug induced psychosis, especially 30 to 40 years ago. Perhaps, as I was certainly in a non-standard, abusive household with more than its share of difficulties. Yet, I fulfilled all of life's little physical 'tasks' as the 'perfect child' for years, labeled as gifted in music, in arts, in scholastics and aptitude, athletic, creative, accomplished. I performed over two dozen instruments, sang, won ribbons in science fairs, skipped grades and scored highly on tests. And learned to cut and perm hair, alter clothing, make costumes, and even cook fancy meals, bake and decorate cakes along the way. And I rebeled lightly in the teen years during college, then continued on my own life path soon after graduation. Of course I made a lot of mistakes along the way and made choices that many would question, but I could only make the choices that seem right for me to follow after a while. Physical life becomes just that eventually, for everyone I suppose. Considering all of the events, actually, the standards of pressures placed on today's children, I would be quite ordinary. And as ordinary, I did not stand out too much, or become famous (or 'infamous' for that matter), or known as more than 'ordinary'.

Oddly enough, I did find it strange that many things came easily to me. I would 'hear' music and compose. It was as though an unseen guide would tell me how to solve many problems. Not everything was perfectly easy, of course, but it was like there was something there to move my thoughts, my hands and energy into place when it was needed. I've heard some others speak or write about that, but these are the things that are not quite explicable in this world.

It begs again the question, what is this unseen, unknown connection? Why was it here to assist me, or was I 'gifted' with a connection to it? The 'unknown' guide was like a grand consciousness that would sometimes give me hints along the way. For example, I had a horrible vision of a bridge collapsing due to an earthquake. Thirty days later, there was the same bridge from the earthquake in California in the late eighties. Sometimes, I'd feel the need to phone or visit someone and that person was indeed needy, or at a time of passing. Another time, I painted an outlandish modern styled painting. It was painted in the late eighties. Eerily, it had the picture of an airplane flying into two towers in a setting that seemed like NYC, but the ground below became a sink hole and the earth was swallowing masses of material pleasures with it. Even I'd forgotten the subject matter until after...

There are many records of people around the world with small coincidences (or larger ones), or psychics and the search for the connection to the unknown, God, Allah, Buddha, enlightenment, nirvana, the afterlife---- There are many people more sensitive and unable to function in this physical world. There are those who deliberately choose to ignore the unknown. However so, we are all interlinked in an amazing discovery life pattern that weaves all of our energies into a complex larger unit of life. Some can visualize this during meditation. Indigenous and mystics have called this a series of light tunnels, connections or web--- each linking every unit of life together into a synchronized universe for better or worse. Death and life, negative and positive, balance within this form to continue the momentum of life.

It seems then there is a universal consciousness, as some would say that would direct such. In this vast measure of things, we can only imagine the microcosm of a unit that each of us are. Yet, how vital, as if all of those connections would be suddenly interrupted, if we were to 'disconnect' from the giant web of energy bonds.

So again, in this perspective, what are we in the scheme of things? To which I can only assume-
to each his/her own destiny; to each, his/her own discovery.