And the Atlanta massacre of 6 women could have been prevented if it weren't marginalized as if like smaller events in the past...

 6 women died because of a man who had a stereotype prejudice and a gun yet his views are being marginalized by different officials and press to only a sex fetish while over 500 (reported only) attacks on Asian Americans occurred in the last 2 months. And not to take away from the horrible murders, I am sharing what it means to look like a Asian while living in and being raised in the USA as an example of why the organizations are angry and why they are speaking up.

The attacks of mild to severe are occurring to Asians not just at this level, but at all levels. The stigma placed on all women are bad enough and we see too many stereotypes of various degrees for women from all cultures, with some good all the way to severely dangerous. Hollywood has never helped that. The sexual and subservience stereotype used on Northern Asian and pacific islander women (Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Cambodian, Taiwanese, Thai, Filipino and any of the "Chinese appearances mostly) are very huge, and much of the time I have kept my mouth shut, but do not ever assume I have not experienced the stereotypes, aggression, harassment, hatred, and direct attacks, grabbing, or innuendos in my lifetime. I have not dwelt on them and started to speak up on this topic only in recent years with many people, including close friends telling me initially I was wrong and exaggerating what was happening across the country, even suggesting I was being paranoid a few years ago and to seek mental help for my observations of the uptick last year. I am aware enough to know they did not mean it and they do not have the perception as non-Asians, but I am saying still this has been escalating sharply in the last 5 yrs again. The deliberate lack of equality, lack of hires (unless taking underpaid positions), the assumptions of what type of mindset, where we are from (I am Canadian by birth and raised here with no firm Asian cultural ties except for some very bare customs), MUST STOP. I was "accepted" more by the Caucasian cultures in schools and younger years because I allowed them to make racist jokes in front of me (note, I do take blame in not realizing I enabled some or this culture unwittingly) and I partied with them as my Canadian and US upbringing taught me, not like an Asian born of that period. But I was still cattle herded into certain behaviors by prejudiced teachers into specific STEM paths along with tiger parents and I still got beaten up in grade school too often while being called gook and then I was often also the one punished as the only Asian kid in the fight defending myself and told if I didn't fight back it would not have been a fight therefore I was the instigator (note, this would be after kids told them I was hit or pushed onto the floor) unless I learned to cry in front of all of them (later in grade school I did start to cry and act weaker instead of fight back because it was the only way to then not get beaten and punished again at home for getting into trouble.) Yet teachers still placed other prejudiced labels and attempted racial bias "training" on me. The best example, I was told by 3 different English teachers while in middle and early high school ENGLISH classes that I would automatically be awarded a C or maybe B on the course PRIOR TO ANY TESTS AND REGARDLESS OF ASSIGNMENTS ...because "everyone knows Asians cannot grasp English". Never mind I was simultaneously semi fluent in German and some French as well as Korean and English at that time with A's in Latin class. Those specific teachers never bothered to read my assignments or tests and gave me B- IF THEY HAD TOO. IF i corrected or reported their errors, I was deliberately given separate questions and assignments I could not accomplish or had no knowledge of, to ensure I would get a few C-'s of D+'s for the purposes of justifying my lower grade, which then my tiger parents would punish me for. Then never mind the number of traffic stops I witnessed of adult Asians while growing up... because, don't you know all Asians are bad drivers? In fact it was an easy quota meet or frame job in place of a friend who sped by in a speed trap area... because, y'all know Asians are demure and will pay or take the rap to avoid jail.

That was how many Asians grew up in the USA a couple decades ago. These are mild examples of only a few stories from pre-mid 90s and 2000s. It got better for a while after that... not perfect, but better. And yes, I understand most of us had it better than many Hispanics, middle easterners and African Americans I befriended over my life, AND, those of us who learned how to get rid of and speak without accents fared much better than those with. Plus one stereotype was in our favor... we were all supposed to be some kind of math or science genius and in classical music. Not in anything else, just those. So I am not discounting we had some fortunes for some scholarships or grants.

But we were never really part of the "in crowd" in most cases then. I still get looked at strangely and strangers wonder if I will have an accent when I begin speaking. And in the last 5 yrs, I have been seeing faces and looks again I have not seen since the 70a and 80s from people who make sure to over charge me, to make me feel threatened, or to make sure I am aware that I do not look like the others in the room. And it has risen even higher since the comment of "kung flu" or "Chinese flu". And I am not alone but am still luckier the majority of Asian women who are abused at home and in work places that make them feel like Indentured servants every minute of the day and now this...

So again....

6 women died because of a man who had a stereotype prejudice and a gun yet his views are being marginalized by different officials and press to only a sex fetish while over 500 (reported only) attacks on Asian Americans occurred in the last 2 months.

The reality standing in the way of Sustainability

The enduring difficulties of 2020 and the year of a virus that stopped the world gave many one sliver of a silver lining. The forced lack of human movement and daily business caused lack of the mega billions of dollars of petroleum products used daily in transportation by air, land and sea had stopped. And within weeks, there were reports of improved air quality from the lack of pollution from transportation modes. Researchers said estimated global carbon emissions dropped by 2.4 Billion Metric Tons, or, 7%, according to researchers at the Global Carbon Project in December of 2020. Emissions from air traffic was down 40% and from industrial complexes in some countries, a full 30%!  (source:  Global carbon emissions down by record 7% in 2020 | News | DW | 11.12.2020) All simply by humans being grounded, for their own safety, from any work or play in most countries. 

Today's most visible voice on climate change is Greta Thunberg. As a poised young adult now, she has repeatedly stated the obvious of how humans are destroying the planet to a completely unsustainable end and how the world is not doing enough to keep the critical temperature markers of the Paris Accord as advised by the top scientists in the world. But it is important to note it did not start there. 

Often looking at old films and TV commercials on You Tube, I have come across the teary eyed American Native Chief from a 1970s commercial asking the modern Americans 'please do not litter'. And since then, the many decades of Green Peace protestors placing their lives at risk in front of large whaling ships, arguing with poachers who have bloodied baby seals hanging off their backs, or pictures of people who have died trying to save countless other endangered species. Then there were smog reports, increasing instances of water pollution like in Flint, MI, unanswered rising cases of childhood asthma, bees disappearing, and entire countries suffering from endless drought and famine. With each passing decade of expanding global video communications, there has been someone to voice concerns of the changes in natural habitats and climates from local indigenous people to farmers, to scientists like Jane Goodall, and leaders of nations. And the amount donated to the cause to reduce any act interrupting sustainability worldwide has significantly increased. There have been some small changes, sure, as in, less numbers of certain animals killed or poached, some previously over polluted waters are now cleaner and able to be swam or fished in (eg: Potomac River and Chesapeake Bay select areas), and more wetlands preservation or general wild areas. Recycling has now become a multi-billion dollar industry, where before the 1990s, it was rare to recycle in most parts of the USA. A decade previous to recycling, the closest would be children saving soda cans and bottles to get the return change to make money, or newspapers being used as insulation in housing or for wrapping delicate porcelain before bubble wrap (plastic!) was common. 

But here in is the hidden layers and wall. The amount donated increased, but the distance of many humans to time spend in real, unpolished and trimmed nature, decreased. Humans in civilized nations were conned into believing that a manicured lawn and landscaped picturesque yard without bothersome nuisances like animals and animal dung -- plus the white picket fence and the designer car and showcase housing --- was the ideal like. And to achieve this, work, education by travel, more work, attaining money or value, was the paramount vision. The Hollywood picture of the rich or famous, with extravagance, was sold to the masses all over the world. No one discussed that to achieve this, one had to spend less time in nature, less time preparing foods from scratch, and spend more on 'convenience' items to save time. The marketing and sales people had done their jobs, they had sold the fantasy of glamour, and the absolute need to desire a piece of the glamour, to everyone ambitious enough to dream of the 'ideal' life they were sold. The sad part, this 'ideal' image was one born out of the suits of D.C. and the skyscrapers of Manhattan or the insurers from London and the runways of Paris and Milan. The idea of being serviced, not having to touch the soil, not having to pick or peel your own vegetables and appearing to be in such a sanitary and spotlessly clean picture of health and wealth, riding in the best of cars, first class and a giant private abode befitting royalty. Children from Cusco to New Delhi, Omsk to Tehran who had any television exposure, were shown these pictures as the ones of ultimate wealth and power and influence, whether it was designated as evil or blessed. But none were ever shown the price, not even those born into the lap of the luxurious lives. 

What do I mean by this? Interestingly, all of the anti-sustainability is first marked by the need for capitalism to define success by 'winning' the most amount of dollars from the most customers at preferably, premium pricing. So marketing is designed to create 'habits' to create addicts out of anyone, so an item will be sold over and over. Before, or about the 1960s, personally, I do feel the throw away pieces of items bought were more limited, and quality and durability was more valued. It seemed families had heirloom furniture and pieces bought for newly married couples were meant to last -- even if from a Sears & Roebuck catalogue. It seemed a prideful thing-- to have items that were 'living' with the family for years. However, after Americans grew accustomed to increasing wealth states and especially after the advent of pop culture that included McDonald's and carefree summer hitch hiking days, it seemed the companies learned something interesting. That carefree attitude did not have means for people to carry around a lot of valuables or material goods that were burdensome like in pioneer days. It meant things needed to be disposable and portable. Clothes had to be made to not be so costly as to be a great loss and food had to be served in items that could be quickly disposed of, to keep the 'pristine clean' picture in tact. And this meant customers would be buying and using and throwing away again and again, meaning more production and more dollars. And, if entire generations could be sold on this idea.... 

The problem is that as Americans and western culture expanded into a motility and dual parent income culture with less desires to do the lowly chores of cleaning, farming, harvesting, tending to animals, etc, so also did entire generations become removed of the idea of the cycles of nature and how physical things are both permanent and impermanent but nature finds a way to give life to things over and over. Instead, we now have millions of 'advanced' civilization people for over 2 generations, who are accustomed to less menial labor and less time to care for themselves, let alone understand the impact of using single use plastics, food waste, water waste or their contribution to air pollution. (and I do not count myself a saint, I have broken nature's creed many times myself in the need of making an income and having to grab a quick lunch through a drive through = air pollution, waste, junk food, plastics, all in one!) 

I recently spent time with an octogenarian, who was once raised half farm, and of course, during multiple wars, where she had once learned the values of conservation of items because there were rations and scarce supplies. But when cooking with her, simple things, like asparagus--- where I prefer to only cut about 1/2" to 1" or the most dry/weedy ends off, she insisted to do like her mother, cut off at the nearest joint, which eliminated over 2 to 3" per each stalk. In each break I am thinking to myself, if we were on a farm with chickens and pigs, this is great- they would get the scraps and the life cycle would be in continuous flow by feeding those tips. But this night, those tips were sent down a garbage disposal in the sink -- forever wasted. Then she showed me her pride and morning joy of the kitchen-- a Keurig machine. She loves the chai tea in the cups. I have also had a Keurig for over a decade, but, when they made the 'make your own' coffee filter/screen inserts almost a decade ago, I quickly purchased to make my own after discovering the plastics of the Keurig cups are not recyclable. In fact, in 2019, Green Mountain company (Keurig manufacturer), attempted to make recycle Keurig cups but not so successfully, because there still issues. At one point, the original cups were estimated to fill at least landfills wrapping world over at least 10Xs just from Americans using those (and yes, I am guilty of that then also). But only about 75% of the new pods are convertible to compost-- and ONLY if you collect and return enough to the address on the box through their partnerships, in order to recycle those cups. (The curious, environmental case of the Keurig K-Cups (or what to do with them) – San Gabriel Valley Tribune (sgvtribune.com)) 

Getting back to my octogenarian friend- well, she got used to the luxury of the Keurig. So when mentioning the reusable screen-- oh no, that is too much trouble. Would she collect the pods after use? Oh no, that is too much trouble. Could I cut the asparagus ends please?? Oh no- she wanted to do it just like her mother.  If there was a vegetable in the salad she didn't like, if I didn't eat it, it would be thrown out.  And if anything couldn't be frozen, well, if it wasn't eaten, it was thrown out. Maybe some old bread went to squirrels, but most neighborhoods do not allow feeding wildlife- so the answer? Thrown out. (But to her credit, she works a lot with feeding homeless and helping others, these are just unconscious habits of hers). 

She, like many I know, often know they might have a harmful habit, and brush it off as "well I am only one person so what harm is it if I do it? I donate to plenty of causes and don't use a lot of anything else and conserve a lot".  

Here is the problem. The big money-making marketing companies of wall-street and international investment firms do not invest in products that only sell a few here and there. They only invest in products that sell by the millions per month, if possible. And each person that says I am only one who buys these very harmful items like individual bottles of water and individual snack packs (yes, of course I also cannot escape having to buy single serve especially in covid era) - is helping to unload millions of units of each of these items. And with each item, millions of units of convenient 'packaging' material that has plastic, resin layers, paper layers and maybe even metal layers, with an extreme nice looking bright marketing advertisement label. And each single item has added to millions in carbon units, landfills, displacement of natural resources used to make those materials, severely harmful chemical toxins released into the air to make those items and unknown damages for years to come to the planet. 

But if the octogenarian whose earlier years never included the Keurig or a garbage disposal cannot live without, how does anyone expect younger generations, who never knew there was a world without Mr. Coffee and Keurig machines, Starbucks and McDonalds, or single serve 'everything', to adapt to the needs of an aging planet? They are also simultaneously being told to invest into funds that invest into the single serve and convenience manufacturers to make money for their own futures!!

Meanwhile, the planet desperately wonders why humans, who understands so much of the science of needing minerals and carbon for our structures to be strong and healthy, keep robbing Her of Her minerals and carbon, so she cannot feed her plants and swell her clean waters like she once could. She doesn't know what the stock market or marketing and ads are. She only knows life and death and the cycles of life and death. She knows the basic foundations of physical elements can slowly over time, be reformed and brought back into new life, not to be pressed, chemically enhanced and restructured to make a higher profit margin. Her rhythm does not match the one of the airports and stock market rush hours; hers will be only of severe dry seasons, severe rainy seasons, days with light and days without. 

May we hope Her message is strong enough to influence the next few decades of humans, so we can one day find a common rhythm that will synchronize human desires with natural needs. 

 

An opinion written in comments section in reply to a news article regarding gender behavioral differences and women have less 'braggadocio' than men or being perceived weaker throughout history:

Opinion: due to expectations of most civilizations (not all) that women were caretakers of children and the agriculture/herbal tenders while the male physical strength was utilized for hunting larger game and war, it occurs to me that men had to develop a separate social culture and interpersonal relations communication that would emphasize the need to be 'confident', encourage 'boasting' (of the "big" catch) to enforce the perception (by others) of great strength. This 'strength' eventually became equated, physically or mentally as societal needs and roles changed. Women, on the other hand, required the passivity roles as primary child tenders, as well as for tending to the herbal/medicinal/agricultural needs within the homes. The social structure of those 'left behind' during war or long hunts (including seafaring) --- had to change. For example, becoming fixed in an agricultural location, the fears of unity during natural disaster would be addressed. Without brute physical strength, the teamwork development through encouraging strength amongst the crowd (rather than boasting of one's own, per se) needed to be developed (especially as child tenders). The constant worry of loss of the partner would bond in a much more humble and passive manner, as well as the obvious status of the lack of physical strength vs. that partner--- so the subjects of discussion would have to be about what the 'other' is capable of, rather than what 'she' can do personally. The results of organized religion over the last few millennia only emphasized these traits, eventually even placing the 'male' figure as the dominant in nearly all 'modern' faiths.

In my opinion, these are a few factors that eventually resulted in evolved traits over the last 8000 yrs or so, that bled in social perceptions. Thus, women would score higher on emotional intelligence, and women would be less likely to inflate their own abilities, while men were encouraged to inflate their abilities to 'find their rank' in societal positions. What I find interesting about he recent feminist movements of the last century is the publicity allowed for larger organized voices. However, in history, there was always the 'strong'  and intelligent woman figure, in various queens, religious icons, warns (Matilda of Tuscany, Boadicea, Joan of Arc, etc.). In niche societies that are not as influenced by modern religion, the defined strong female may also be recognized for high intelligence (above others) and some still have reputations for being more cunning hunters than their male counterparts!

*Originally written 2003*

THE DIVINITY IN ARTISTIC CREATION

We live in a time of chaos and computers, globalized economies and currency numbers. The jaded cycles of 9 to 5 (ie: actually 8:30-9p or more, as the 70+ hr week is the norm for many today), corporate climbers drive --we seat ourselves in the expectations of the children's soccer teams and ivy league admissions, the BMW x2 and then, being politically correct and conscientiously green while perfecting ourselves with organics, yoga meditation and fitness routines and meeting requirements for social engagements (church, community or business and friends.) We have the part of the machine that we must fulfill when we play our roles -- the one that shackles and binds us within our very innermost thoughts --- our subconscious -- the center of our mind. It's a place of no rules, it's a place that connects to more than the body we are in -- it runs free, it runs wild, no boundaries, speaking before thinking, knowing before learning, laughing before crying and dancing before moving. It knows not time, not greed, not hate, not worry, not anger. It is still burning with the power of the origin, the divine, the universe-- it is still mysterious. It learns to communicate with the conscious that tries to teach it the things of this world, of food, clothing, people, of cars, of houses, of desires. It asks of the consciousness for one thing - to communicate and understand, to live and experience, grow and work from a place of this understand, a place of love and freedom. To nurture the communication and understanding, the consciousness must be free of constraints from fear, obsessions with competition and aggression, hate, anger, judgement, guilt, desperation, superiority issues, insecurities, and from any self-damnation. These are the negative emotions that work like trapdoors that open at inopportune moments to drive away the communication between the waking conscious self and the aware, but silent, unconscious self.

The unconscious self is the seat of the soul, a part of perfect beauty and absolute light. It understands what the universe relates to it --- then tries to convey that message to our waking self. From there, stunning and inconceivable ideas are born -- it is perhaps the yin (the dark night but passive feminine places from which things are born) -- and very extremely sensitive, but it is strong because it is sacred. When the message is allowed and sent, to be clearly and intentionally born into the physical world, amazing artistic creations happen with a divine touch that is beyond the conscious human's realm. To create is almost a law of nature; it is an underlying drive of life. Creation is to emulate the divine and mystery, it is to give life, it is survival, and it is a guaranteed mark of our permanence in this chaos. It needs neither audience nor approval - but does require love from the source. It simply wants to exist in the here and now after translation from the origins of the unconscious. But in the complexities of life that is human --- the conscious is not so perfect to easily receive or create from a place of unconditional love. The consciousness sometimes has been taught to fear things of 'unknown': the un-conscious, the un-done, the un-resolved, un-certainty, un-conditionality and the un-explained. So it fights fiercely to bring out fear and judgment - with anger and isolation - things that disrupt the flow of beauty and truth. Thus the struggle of yin and yang, for one to dance into the center spotlight, to fight for the lead stage presence --- begins. The battle within weakens the body and strains the mind. The consciousness is overwhelmed and the unconscious does not understand. It can be subtle or pronounced, but it is the riddle of all who are human to find the peace that would quell the raging lightning storms within. As with any war, seeds of negativity always produce casualties on all sides. And in misunderstandings and mistranslations, much is lost. But also true of conflicts, as time marches forward, so our moments are temporary and cannot last -- providing us with a final treasure of hope. It is within that hope that peace does follow - and the balance of yin and yang restored, to bring the masterpieces intended by the universe to physical fruition.

*originally written November 2016*

My apologies. It has been awhile. But it is time to speak now.

This year has been tumultuous in North America, particularly on the US side. The election has created a fire filled citizen divide like no other-- but it is on a scale of block vs. block instead of red vs. blue states. There are increasingly open statements and actions of hate dictated by racial bias, more and more misinformation on easily faked news venues and less and less facts.

Here are my view of the facts:

The new electoral college elected 'leader' is an insider of the great money republic, founded and following the religion of capitalism, based on principles of nepotism. Not just by family, but by family and business associates that are most favored, which is a small group in a few major cities, including Washington D.C.  Why do I think this?

He was born into money. He was born into a family headed by a man who believed in racial purity and preservation of bloodlines. And by race, it was a 'visual' term. He was spoilt by his family members and went to a military school in the northeastern US that was primarily Caucasian with old New England type American values. He surrounded himself with men of power, while 'gambling' his own fortunes but knowing his father would often help cover his losses if he lost. He also sought underground and celebrity power because he was fascinated by how these people became so popular and how the few would become wealthy out of the masses. He connected with people who could skirt the law or figure out how to bend rules in his favor. He announced to his former social associates that he wanted to become famous and run for president in the late 1970's and early 1980's-- well before any "Apprentice" or any famous casino headlines in Atlantic City. He also bankrupted many old craftsmen and honest workers in the later 1980's and 1990's, by filing bankruptcy on those sections of his businesses and is still claiming tax losses to this day.  All the while, he was in the press, hob-knobbing with the largest billionaires and selling a fake university scheme and putting on multiple faces as he parties with the fringes of Warhol drug & alcohol parties on some nights while dating 'appropriate' model-esque women for his off-spring one day, and making deals to force introductions to the most powerful financial and political figures in the world.

How much information and wealth would a person like this have to position himself into his dream of presidency? And as his year over year profit margins decline, how wonderful would it be for him to gain inside access to all the biggest names in the world and private emails and phones numbers, while also, being able to gain virtually anyone's private information he wished. How perfect it would be for him to promise his inner circle of associates, that their business interests and policies would be perfectly preserved or championed, if he were to be placed into such a position of power? Why, afterall, he had learned from his early associates that information for blackmail or association and party behavior is what would win the populace? Hollywood taught him that it has nothing to do with character, only the familiarity of a name by branding. It was the new way of business, to become popular while getting rich-- to promote one's own brand.

a year's hiatus and...

The past twelve months of unpredictable seasons heralded whipping turnstiles in my daily life as well. Not an excuse, I assure you, but certainly a new learning as I realize all too well the limitations of being human subscribing to the sense we have labeled as 'time'--- or rather- - the measurement we chose to use as a social guideline of day's beginning and end--

In the 365 days or so that disappeared-- the environment of life pressured me with new challenges I found myself lacking the ability to transgress into that piece of mind-- the private sector of my soul -- as I was challenged to succeed in this world of PS3's, WII's, project deadlines, happy hours, real estate tax due dates, traffic and storms, dramatic associates, health emergencies, stocks, and so on... the very insanity that makes society function. Yet this pace, this inherited ADHD requirement, left me struggling with the emptiness of not being with myself but rather feeling the pressure of remaining a shell with a cosmetic exterior. For that was the role required to succeed.  And then 12 months simply disappeared as I sat stating I would get to me, tomorrow.

I can only wonder if I felt this for a moment in this age of organized chaos, how many others feel the same? What is the new norm? Is this an additive in the water? Is this a micro pulse in the electro-magnetic fields of cellular towers?

One can only hope the awakening that gripped my consciousness enough to remind me of what was missing-- is the same voice that might remind others too, that life does not revolve around the project list, electronic gadgets and distraction spectacles designed to harness our attentions outside of ourselves...